Tuesday, May 22, 2012

To Burn or Not to Burn

So, I have a..."friend" whose three year old daughter just decided that she is a big "gwill" and is therefore old enough to wipe her own squishy tushy while using the restroom. Because this "friend" is rather caught up in taking care of her house and managing her multiple Facebook Words with Friends games, it was a few days before she was informed (or aware) of this change in protocol.

My "friend" accepted the new change on account that it gave her the perfect opportunity to get rid of the sippy cups that the three year old had been clinging to with an iron grip. Or just her pretty blue eyes and heart melting smile. Same difference.

 Anyways, my "friend's" point was this: if you're gonna be a big "gwill" in one area, you can be a big "gwill" in all areas.

It was with some shock, and retching, that my "friend" recently learned the horrid details of her three year old's bathroom time routine. Which consists of washing her hands. In the TOILET!

My "friend" consulted her three year old about her actions.

"Friend": When you go potty do you wash your hands?"

Three Year Old: Yes!

"Friend": Where do you wash your hands? In the toilet or the sink?

Three Year Old responds with a tone and look saying she's totally confused why her action would even be called into question: The toilet!

"Friend": shock and retching begin...

The three year old has been informed of the error in her choice of hand washing station, but my "friend" is at a cross-roads as to what action she should take next. Since there isn't anyway to know how long the three year old had been acting in such a manner who knows where the hands-of-doom have been. So, she should burn the house down or not?

Please, if you have any helpful advice for my "friend", share.

Also, in my "friend's" defense: since she had already spent the last year training the three year old how to properly wash her hands after using the facilities, there wasn't a question that there would be confusion in this area. Just sayin'.


Jodi said...

Aggghhh! Lysol spray EVERYTHING!!! So so funny though :) I feel for your "friend".

Mel Mell said...

EWwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!! Um... can "she" have the house covered in a giant tarp and have lysol sprayed in through a fire engine hose??? :) lol!!!!!

Marie C. said...

GROSS!!!!! But tell your "friend" that although this is completely disgusting, it is NOT the first time in Human History that a child has done something gross and unsanitary. It's not even the first time a mom's found out about it (although chances are children have been far more gross than their parents are aware). My reaction would be to do a gigantic laundry day with washables that might've been touched, vinegar or lysol-wipe hard surfaces, and then send a little prayer of thankfulness up for the knowledge that healthier children come from houses that are a little dirty, so your "friend's" kiddos should end up with immune systems of steel. ;-)