This is the second part of our story. You can read the first part here.
Thanksgiving Day of the same year, 2006, there were once again two pink lines on the stick, but I was spotting again. Once again we shared our news with friend and family and asked them to pray. I was nauseous, which is a good sign. So we held onto hope.
December 15th, my SIL and I got together to make pepper jelly for Christmas presents and Nathan's birthday party. I LOVE pepper jelly. But it is one stinky recipe to make. And it didn't effect me. I tried to push the thought out of my mind. At 4:30 the next morning I miscarried again. When I got back in bed Nathan and I held each other and cried. There were no words.
We spent the following Monday seeing doctor after doctor. Waiting and waiting. Blood tests and ultra sounds. Exams and consultations. In the last office we visited we sat in the waiting room tortured by the exclamations of the joyful parents-to-be around us. They were holding sonogram pictures in their hands and healthy babies in their wombs. I was empty.
That night my parents blessed us with a gift certificate to a nice waterfront restaurant for a much needed night out. We looked forward to eating a quiet meal while watching the festival of boats go up and down the river. We arrived at the restaurant at the same time as another couple...who were pregnant. We were seated up stairs next to the windows. We had a great view. We were almost the only ones there. Except for the pregnant couple. At the table behind us.
The evening was spent listening to their excited conversation about finding out they were having a girl. I don't remember much about the evening. I know I stared out the window a lot. I have no memories of the food we ate. But I remember that couple. While I wanted to be excited for them and congratulate them, I also desperately wanted to just walk out.
We didn't. We ate our dinner. We comforted each other with knowing glances. We knew that once again we would be given the grace to get through this disappointment. And we were.
But our journey wasn't over...