Thursday, February 10, 2011

Funny

While trying to explain the difference between cows, bulls and oxen to Abiah I explain that oxen are male cows that can't have babies.

His response: "Oh, they can't have babies, so that's why they grow horns."

Huh?

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When I took Hazel to go potty she showed me the condensation on the toilet tank with concern. "That's ok. It's just moisture, Hazel," I assured her.

"No, it's not, " she argued.

This went back and forth a few times before she said, "It's water!"

"You're right, " I replied. "Water is moisture."

"No, it's not," she argued again.

"Well, what is water then?"

"It's when we wash our hands and we put some soap, um um um, that's water."

"And what is moisture?"

"It's when there's water in the toilet and we put a bird in there. And then we put soap in there and we mix it round and round. Then we wash it off...That's what that be's"

Oh! Okay...

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When I asked Hazel if she knows what Attentive means she said, "Yes. Its means when we put duckies in the bath tub."

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Hazel woke up the other morning from a bad dream crying and yelling for me. She claimed that the mice bit her and she was pointing to the same "hippo" that Amelia bit the other day.

After assuring her once more that there are no mice in our house, I reminded her that Amelia bit her and told her she had just had a bad dream and would be just fine.

When we came down stairs she informed Abiah that, "Amelia and the mice bit me!"

I reminded her, "No. It was just a bad dream."

"My bad dream bit me!"

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While eating dinner, Hazel was sitting on her legs in her chair. When she moved to put her feet in front of her she complained, "Mom! My feet are buzzing."

Nathan and I explained to her that it was just the blood coming back into her feet.

The next morning after breakfast she came and, putting her foot in my face, said, "Mom. My blood's doing it again!"

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I was wearing a shirt with 3/4 length sleeves. Abiah asked me, "Is your shirt too small or is it supposed to look like that?"

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I asked Hazel if she knows what brave means. "It's when Daddy pushes Uncle Dan in the toilet."

Uncle Dan is a man from church who is over six foot and I think he boasts that he's close to 300lbs. He also happens to work at the county jail. So I guess that would be considered brave. Or stupid!

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Potty talk (or poopoo talk) has been curb for the most part in our house. I rarely have to correct the kids for it right now. Last night I was talking to Amelia about how chubby she is.

Me: "You have a chubby chin!"

Amelia: "Tubby tin!"

Me: "You have chubby cheeks!"

Amelia: "Tubby teeks!"

Me: "Chubby belly!"

Amelia: "Tubby bewy!"

Me: "You have a chubby butt!"

Amelia: "Tubby..." then pointing her finger at me in disapproval, "Poopoo cok, mom!"

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Abiah is still quite perplexed about just how the Doctors are going to get Jackson out of me. The other day during lunch he commented, "Jackson doesn't have a mom."

"Yes, he does," I argued. "I'm his mom!"

"Well, I mean he's not born yet. Which, Mom, I just can't figure it out. Because I've seen your mouth and it's not that big and I know how big Jackson will probably be when he's born and that's the only hole in and out. So I just don't know how he's going to get out of you!"

While stifling laughter and allowing my heart to slow to a regular pace I said, "Well, God made a special way for babies to be born. Mommy will tell you more about it later."

I think it's later. There are too many questions and too many questions coming, I'm sure. We ordered this book series to help us out. Have you had this conversation with your kids? Did you have any books to help out? Tell me how it went!

6 comments:

Marie C. said...

I love all of your stories! I always end up cracking up. :-)

As far as Abiah and the questions go, I have a tiny bit of experience in this department (working with very young kids who ask awkward questions) and I've asked a friend who is a Christian psychologist about this, too. Her advice (which is what I've used in the past): be very frank and honest about what happens, using real words for real parts. I think it's more embarrassing for adults than for the kids because we attach sexual connotations to things and we forget that kids this age don't -- they just want to know logistics and then usually curiosity is satisfied. The more mysterious we make it by hiding or using code words or not addressing their questions in a simple and straightforward manner, the more fascinated and curious they will be. Take the mystery out and you've got no worries.

Good luck! :-)

pistolsnprincesses said...

Thanks!

That's kind of the mindset I've been trying to have. My main concern is given age appropriate information. I think that's what I like about these books. I'm hoping that they will help give me the right words to use but will also help create a comfortable atmosphere of trust and communication. Thanks for the advice. It helps confirm what I was thinking.

Also, did you catch Hazel's accidental Portlandia reference? It must be in her blood!

Hannah said...

These kids!! They're too too funny!! I love em :)

LaFonda Dunlap said...

Thanks for the great laughs! I read these out loud to dad and we both had a really good laugh. It also brings back memories! Of our funny children!

Marie C. said...

I did catch the reference! Your kids are too cute!!

And I'm bestowing a blog award on you and sharing the love I received this morning. http://educatorssoliloquy.blogspot.com/2011/02/it-is-happy-friday-award-filled-day.html

Melanie said...

I absolutely love these quotes! My boys say the funniest things as well. I think I may have to add a section on my blog for that too! I'm your newest follower.

Melanie
youmadethat.blogspot.com