Hazel has discovered knock, knock jokes. Not actual jokes that have a point. Just the idea of them. I think she's learned from Abiah who is really almost as clueless as Hazel when it comes to executing the jokes.
Hazel was sitting "telling" me her jokes that all followed along the lines of this one:
Hazel: Knock, knock!
Me: Who's there?
H: Your nose.
M: Your nose who?
H: It's me! Your nose!
Then she would bust up laughing at herself.
Abiah's jokes usually have some hidden meaning or deep explanation that only he's aware of. Like this one:
Abiah: Knock, knock!
Me: Who's there?
A: Butterfly.
M: Butterfly who?
A: Butter.
M: I guess I don't have a very good sense of humor because I don't understand that one.
A: Well, it's because there's this joke about why did the boy throw the butter out the window? Because he wanted to see it fly...
M: Oh...I see.
After he tells this joke Hazel tells one similar to the one above. This time the punch line was:
"It's me! Your door!"
Abiah rolled his eyes and replied, "Hazel that's not even funny. Some people don't have a sense of humor." And then he quickly added, "Mom, what's a sense of humor?"
While I laughed to myself, Amelia walked up and tried her hand at a knock, knock joke:
Amelia: Knot, knot!
Me: Who's there?
Amelia: You's boobies!
That time I laughed!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Flippin' Day
Warning: This post may contain a few "Lady Details." Enter at your own risk!
Yesterday was Jackson's Flip Day. We loaded our van with all our gear just in case we ended up having a baby and headed to the doctor appointment. I drove so Hot Hubby could eat his lunch. And so my blood pressure would stay at a healthy rate.
I don't know why, but Hot Hubby's driving has been freakin' me out as of late. My distress could be from the two accidents I've been in the last two years. Or it could be from Hot Hubby's insistence that "too close" is bumper on bumper. Literally. This is especially exciting when the person behind us has the same driving standards as Hot Hubby.
Exciting meaning: I'm about to kick a hole in the passenger side floor board.
But I digress.
So, on the way to the hospital we: Drove through a hail storm. Came upon a road block and had to turn around. Went back through the hail storm. Took the windier route. Came across a bigger hail storm. Slowed down to a crawl to avoid sliding in the snow-like hail. And arrived ten minutes late. But we had fun on the way!
And since I was driving it was Hot Hubby's turn to have blood pressure problems.
While we waited for the Doctor I asked Hot Hubby what his prayer was for the day. He told me that he was praying that our Little Mister would already be turned and that everything else would be just fine.
As well as praying for Jackson to turn we've been telling Jackson that he needed to be obedient and turn.
"Did you just boss an unborn child?!"
"It is never too early to learn manners!"
Name that movie!
Within a few minutes of the doctor coming in he announced that he could do this version in his sleep because Jackson was/is vertex. Which means he is in the right position!
We were so relieved! Not only did we avoid the discomfort of the version and possible c-section, but there's a possibility that since this baby is being obedient in utero he might carry that over into his childhood...possibly.
I realize this dream of mine has a slim chance of survival but what are we if we can't dream?!?
Since Jackson was still so high there is still the possibility of him turning again. We are now praying for him to stay in this position but to move down.
My midwife also suggested that we try induction while he's head down. I'd rather avoid a hospital induction so I am trying all the home remedies I know of or that have been suggested to me.
My favorite so far is eating a raspberry sundae. I suppose that idea comes from using red raspberry leaf tea to induce labor. Either way, I'm willing to try both!
What are some methods you've used or heard of to induce labor?
Yesterday was Jackson's Flip Day. We loaded our van with all our gear just in case we ended up having a baby and headed to the doctor appointment. I drove so Hot Hubby could eat his lunch. And so my blood pressure would stay at a healthy rate.
I don't know why, but Hot Hubby's driving has been freakin' me out as of late. My distress could be from the two accidents I've been in the last two years. Or it could be from Hot Hubby's insistence that "too close" is bumper on bumper. Literally. This is especially exciting when the person behind us has the same driving standards as Hot Hubby.
Exciting meaning: I'm about to kick a hole in the passenger side floor board.
But I digress.
So, on the way to the hospital we: Drove through a hail storm. Came upon a road block and had to turn around. Went back through the hail storm. Took the windier route. Came across a bigger hail storm. Slowed down to a crawl to avoid sliding in the snow-like hail. And arrived ten minutes late. But we had fun on the way!
And since I was driving it was Hot Hubby's turn to have blood pressure problems.
While we waited for the Doctor I asked Hot Hubby what his prayer was for the day. He told me that he was praying that our Little Mister would already be turned and that everything else would be just fine.
As well as praying for Jackson to turn we've been telling Jackson that he needed to be obedient and turn.
"Did you just boss an unborn child?!"
"It is never too early to learn manners!"
Name that movie!
Within a few minutes of the doctor coming in he announced that he could do this version in his sleep because Jackson was/is vertex. Which means he is in the right position!
We were so relieved! Not only did we avoid the discomfort of the version and possible c-section, but there's a possibility that since this baby is being obedient in utero he might carry that over into his childhood...possibly.
I realize this dream of mine has a slim chance of survival but what are we if we can't dream?!?
Since Jackson was still so high there is still the possibility of him turning again. We are now praying for him to stay in this position but to move down.
My midwife also suggested that we try induction while he's head down. I'd rather avoid a hospital induction so I am trying all the home remedies I know of or that have been suggested to me.
My favorite so far is eating a raspberry sundae. I suppose that idea comes from using red raspberry leaf tea to induce labor. Either way, I'm willing to try both!
What are some methods you've used or heard of to induce labor?
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
A Day Without Shoes!
18!
I own 18 pairs of shoes.
Confession?
Maybe.
Especially when I hear of those who go without shoes every day and contract diseases because of it. Diseases that could be cured by a pair of shoes!
Join me as I participate in Kari's challenge to go A Day Without Shoes.
Also,
Maggie's Magnolia Boutique
19155 Willamette Dr
West Linn, OR 97068
I'm curious. Leave a comment with the amount of shoes you own. Were you surprised like me?
I own 18 pairs of shoes.
Confession?
Maybe.
Especially when I hear of those who go without shoes every day and contract diseases because of it. Diseases that could be cured by a pair of shoes!
Join me as I participate in Kari's challenge to go A Day Without Shoes.
Also,
- if you join in the fun
- and find you have a few pairs of gently used shoes you can get rid of
- and you live in the Portland area
Maggie's Magnolia Boutique
19155 Willamette Dr
West Linn, OR 97068
I'm curious. Leave a comment with the amount of shoes you own. Were you surprised like me?
Monday, April 4, 2011
'Til My Sides Hurt: Disgusting Boys Edition
Hazel and Amelia were taking a bubble bath the other day. While they entertained themselves with the tub full of bubbles I started cleaning the bathroom. Shortly after they saw what I was doing they asked for wash cloths and when they got them promptly starting "scrubbing" the tub. As they "cleaned" they complained:
Hazel: "Abiah, maked a big mess! He's so gross! Boys are skusting!"
Amelia: "Biah. Make. Mess. Scusing!"
H: "He always makes a mess!"
A: "Make. Mess!"
H: "Boys are so gross!"
A: "Boys. Gos!"
H: "Ugh! Abiah maked a big mess! And I have to clean it up! He's so skusting!"
A: "Keen. Up. Mess! Scusing!"
H: "Boys is so gross, Mom!"
A: "Boys. Gos. Mom."
I told Abiah that I was sorry he was the one to take all the blame for the messes, but tried to encourage him by reminding him that the girls have NO idea what messes Jackson will be making soon. I think they'll be more disgusted by those messes then the ones Abiah presumably made.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hazel was wearing her sparkle shoes that have a strap across the top of the foot. When she took her shoe and sock of to show me the lines that the straps were making she said, "Look, Mom! I'm a demon!"
I think she meant to say she had an indent.
Hazel: "Abiah, maked a big mess! He's so gross! Boys are skusting!"
Amelia: "Biah. Make. Mess. Scusing!"
H: "He always makes a mess!"
A: "Make. Mess!"
H: "Boys are so gross!"
A: "Boys. Gos!"
H: "Ugh! Abiah maked a big mess! And I have to clean it up! He's so skusting!"
A: "Keen. Up. Mess! Scusing!"
H: "Boys is so gross, Mom!"
A: "Boys. Gos. Mom."
I told Abiah that I was sorry he was the one to take all the blame for the messes, but tried to encourage him by reminding him that the girls have NO idea what messes Jackson will be making soon. I think they'll be more disgusted by those messes then the ones Abiah presumably made.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hazel was wearing her sparkle shoes that have a strap across the top of the foot. When she took her shoe and sock of to show me the lines that the straps were making she said, "Look, Mom! I'm a demon!"
I think she meant to say she had an indent.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Easy Guacamole
A man from our church shared this "recipe" for guacamole a few weeks ago. It's too good not to share. Easy and delicious? Sign me up! It also happens to be quite healthy, too!
1 ripe avocado, smashed
1-2 garlic cloves, peeled and finely chopped or smashed
(I highly recommend the Pampered Chef garlic press)
salt and pepper to taste
Serve with your favorite chips or on top of your favorite Mexican dish. Enjoy!
1 ripe avocado, smashed
1-2 garlic cloves, peeled and finely chopped or smashed
(I highly recommend the Pampered Chef garlic press)
salt and pepper to taste
Serve with your favorite chips or on top of your favorite Mexican dish. Enjoy!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Prentatal Update: 36 Weeks and Counting!
Down, that is. We're counting down! Although it seems weird to me that as I add another week I'm actually counting down at the same time. Seems a little backwards.
That may explain why when I'm asked how far along I am I keep replying in weeks left. Like today I would say, "Four weeks!" People get really confused when a seemingly 8 month pregnant lady tells them she is four weeks along. Please don't be scared off by my genius-ness. It's intimidating. I know.
I went in for my 36 week appointment today. We are both doing well. We did find something out today that I've been suspecting for awhile, though. Before I tell you about that I have to give you some background.
When we found out we were having a boy I was thrilled! I still am, too. Believe you me. We don't need anymore Drama Club members. Hazel and Amelia overflow that department just perfectly.
Anyways, though I DESPERATELY wanted a boy I kept having this thought that maybe Jackson would pull an "Uncle Summer." To clarify, Uncle Summer is my oldest sister. (Abiah nicknamed her Uncle Summer and she likes it. If you don't, I'm sorry.) To "pull an 'Uncle Summer'" means that we would spend twenty weeks preparing for a boy baby because the ultra-sound technician pointed to the screen and said, "There "it" is! A boy!" but we would be surprised at the delivery to have a girl instead.
That happened to my mom when she had Summer. She had three boy baby showers and had to take everything back. Of course that was a "few" years ago and ultra-sounds are clearer now. When I mentioned this "thought" to Hot Hubby he quickly told me that it wasn't the case and to stop talking that way.
Well, today it was confirmed that Jackson is NOT pulling an "Uncle Summer." He is, however, trying to pull an "Auntie Am." Auntie Am is my sister directly after me. The third of the four of us girls (Summer, Me, AmberLee & MaShayla). To "pull an 'Auntie Am'" means that a baby is breech. (My mom was in the hospital for FOUR days in labor with AmberLee who was born breech.)
Thankfully there are things the doctors and midwives do now that will help us avoid a breech delivery. They are giving me until 37 weeks and 6 days (April 11th) for Jackson to turn on his own. If he isn't turned by then they will try turning him manually.
To be honest I'm nervous. I know that turning Jackson will be uncomfortable. The part I'm most concerned with is the rare complications that can rise due to turning a baby. If Jackson shows stress or decline after being turned they will do an emergency c~section. Though I definitely won't put Jackson or myself in danger, severe abdominal surgery doesn't sound fun.
I am praying that he either turns on his own or, if they have to turn him, there will be no complications. I am also asking God for peace. My heart is kind of all over the place right now. This has been my specific prayer this evening:
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it.
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here's my heart.
Oh, take and seal it!
Seal it for thy courts above!
Join me, please!
That may explain why when I'm asked how far along I am I keep replying in weeks left. Like today I would say, "Four weeks!" People get really confused when a seemingly 8 month pregnant lady tells them she is four weeks along. Please don't be scared off by my genius-ness. It's intimidating. I know.
I went in for my 36 week appointment today. We are both doing well. We did find something out today that I've been suspecting for awhile, though. Before I tell you about that I have to give you some background.
When we found out we were having a boy I was thrilled! I still am, too. Believe you me. We don't need anymore Drama Club members. Hazel and Amelia overflow that department just perfectly.
Anyways, though I DESPERATELY wanted a boy I kept having this thought that maybe Jackson would pull an "Uncle Summer." To clarify, Uncle Summer is my oldest sister. (Abiah nicknamed her Uncle Summer and she likes it. If you don't, I'm sorry.) To "pull an 'Uncle Summer'" means that we would spend twenty weeks preparing for a boy baby because the ultra-sound technician pointed to the screen and said, "There "it" is! A boy!" but we would be surprised at the delivery to have a girl instead.
That happened to my mom when she had Summer. She had three boy baby showers and had to take everything back. Of course that was a "few" years ago and ultra-sounds are clearer now. When I mentioned this "thought" to Hot Hubby he quickly told me that it wasn't the case and to stop talking that way.
Well, today it was confirmed that Jackson is NOT pulling an "Uncle Summer." He is, however, trying to pull an "Auntie Am." Auntie Am is my sister directly after me. The third of the four of us girls (Summer, Me, AmberLee & MaShayla). To "pull an 'Auntie Am'" means that a baby is breech. (My mom was in the hospital for FOUR days in labor with AmberLee who was born breech.)
Thankfully there are things the doctors and midwives do now that will help us avoid a breech delivery. They are giving me until 37 weeks and 6 days (April 11th) for Jackson to turn on his own. If he isn't turned by then they will try turning him manually.
To be honest I'm nervous. I know that turning Jackson will be uncomfortable. The part I'm most concerned with is the rare complications that can rise due to turning a baby. If Jackson shows stress or decline after being turned they will do an emergency c~section. Though I definitely won't put Jackson or myself in danger, severe abdominal surgery doesn't sound fun.
I am praying that he either turns on his own or, if they have to turn him, there will be no complications. I am also asking God for peace. My heart is kind of all over the place right now. This has been my specific prayer this evening:
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it.
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here's my heart.
Oh, take and seal it!
Seal it for thy courts above!
Join me, please!
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
The Beer Belly
I know I told you that it was a baby.
I led you to believe I am expecting a little man-child in the next month.
I may have even given stats and even posted pictures of "the goods."
It was a lie.
A terrible lie to cover up the bigger issue.
My beer belly.
My profile may resemble a pregnant woman, but don't let your eyes fool you. It's just a beer belly.
When you are sitting next to me and think you can see movement, it's not a baby. It's my muscles. Yes, even though I have an enormous beer belly I still have AMAZING stomach muscle control.
I'm magical that way.
I know I should have been honest with you. That's part of the joy of blogging; honesty while hidden behind a computer screen.
Maybe it was just easier to cope with the issue by tricking myself and you into believing it was something it wasn't.
Maybe I figured it would be easier to answer the "here's your sign" questions like "Wow! You're still pregnant?!" and "Are you sure there aren't two in there?!" then having to give an honest answer about my addiction.
People don't judge so much when it's a baby in there. Everyone loves babies, right?
Whatever it was or is, the truth is out now and I can rest.
For those who need it, here's the proof. My Beer Belly:
36 weeks pregnant!
Oh, shoot! There I go again. You know what they say! Once you start lying it's hard to stop!
I led you to believe I am expecting a little man-child in the next month.
I may have even given stats and even posted pictures of "the goods."
It was a lie.
A terrible lie to cover up the bigger issue.
My beer belly.
My profile may resemble a pregnant woman, but don't let your eyes fool you. It's just a beer belly.
When you are sitting next to me and think you can see movement, it's not a baby. It's my muscles. Yes, even though I have an enormous beer belly I still have AMAZING stomach muscle control.
I'm magical that way.
I know I should have been honest with you. That's part of the joy of blogging; honesty while hidden behind a computer screen.
Maybe it was just easier to cope with the issue by tricking myself and you into believing it was something it wasn't.
Maybe I figured it would be easier to answer the "here's your sign" questions like "Wow! You're still pregnant?!" and "Are you sure there aren't two in there?!" then having to give an honest answer about my addiction.
People don't judge so much when it's a baby in there. Everyone loves babies, right?
Whatever it was or is, the truth is out now and I can rest.
For those who need it, here's the proof. My Beer Belly:
36 weeks pregnant!
Oh, shoot! There I go again. You know what they say! Once you start lying it's hard to stop!
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