To My Life-long Companion and Dear Friend Sugar,
Let me begin by telling you how much I adore and love you. Your sweet kisses and sugary hugs have always been a ray of sunshine to me. And though I've missed you terribly these last few weeks, as our 30 days apart comes to an end I've decided that we can't and shouldn't see so much of each other anymore. At least not as much as we used to.
Though our daily, and sometimes twice to three times daily, encounters were lovely they always left me feeling tired, lazy and round. Please don't get me wrong. I'm not banishing you from my life completely. I would never do that to you, dear friend. I've just realized that when we see each other all the time you become controlling and I become needy. And we both know that's not what we want for our relationship.
I look forward to seeing you after the 1st of February. But please be kind to us both and make this easier by not coming around so often. And I will do my part by not inviting you over when we pass in the market or at gatherings with our friends.
Until February,
Shiree
Showing posts with label 6 Month Do Over. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 6 Month Do Over. Show all posts
Friday, January 29, 2010
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Thuth Free
As part of my Six Month Do Over I have decided to wean my girls from their binkies. Or as Hazel calls it, thuth (which means friend). I have been vacillating between feelings of dread and eagerness. Dreading the fight and yet eager to get it over with.
I know they can do it. Hazel is the hardest because she remembers. Millie is hard because she's still in that smooshy baby stage. But they are both doing a good job at being big girls.
Yesterday was day one. We had a small ceremony in the morning. The girls were each given their small pile of binkies and they took turns throwing them in the garbage. I kept some hidden away for keepsakes. They don't need to know that though. And neither does their daddy. Softy.
Pile 'o binkies
For old times sake
Hazel's turn
On second thought....
Amelia's turn
Binkie free!
Yesterday they napped well and went to bed just fine. They only woke up once during the night and then slept in until 9!
Today at nap they only slept for a half hour but they did fine the rest of the day. I am trying not to get my heart set on it being this easy everyday because I know it can change in a heart beat. But I am glad that we've taken that step and are sticking with it.
I know they can do it. Hazel is the hardest because she remembers. Millie is hard because she's still in that smooshy baby stage. But they are both doing a good job at being big girls.
Yesterday was day one. We had a small ceremony in the morning. The girls were each given their small pile of binkies and they took turns throwing them in the garbage. I kept some hidden away for keepsakes. They don't need to know that though. And neither does their daddy. Softy.
Pile 'o binkies
For old times sake
Hazel's turn
On second thought....
Amelia's turn
Binkie free!
Yesterday they napped well and went to bed just fine. They only woke up once during the night and then slept in until 9!
Today at nap they only slept for a half hour but they did fine the rest of the day. I am trying not to get my heart set on it being this easy everyday because I know it can change in a heart beat. But I am glad that we've taken that step and are sticking with it.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Do Over Update
This last week was my second three day fast. This time was very hard for me. I don't know if it's because I wasn't prepared for it or maybe it's just because it's fasting. And fasting is hard.
We had just gotten back from a week at the beach and I had turned around and left for a woman's retreat. I got back Sunday only to clean the kids up and head out of the house to go to a birthday party for my niece. It was a whirlwind kind of weekend but I was unusually relaxed and calm. And then Monday came.
I felt lost in my house after having been gone all week. I know that probably sounds funny but it's how I felt. I was overwhelmed by tasks that needed to be done and I didn't know where to start. The woman's retreat I was at was based on the books Power of a Praying Wife and For Woman Only. I was encouraged and challenged to be a better wife and mom and I want that so much that sometimes I feel like everything I do isn't good enough because it's not the best or consistent enough. You know, when you focus on laundry you turn around to find the kitchen a total disaster. When you try to meet all the kids needs you find that you are neglecting your husband. Or the schooling and meals get made but it's been days since you've sat and read or played with your kids. Am I alone in this? I don't think I am and I certainly hope not. But anyways, that's how I felt. Plus I was trying to fast. And I was failing most of my other goals, too.
After some tears and chocolate (yeah... the fast didn't last...) Nathan said, "You fasted during the day right?" And I was like, "Yeah, but I didn't complete it and the house is a mess...(just read the above paragraph for an overview of the rest of my failures. I don't want to revisit them right now). " And in his wonderfulness he made an attempt to cheer me up and let me know how much I do get done. But I was still struggling. My "pain" was masked by left over Halloween candy, but I was still frustrated and overwhelmed. And frustrated that I was overwhelmed.
I really feel like I'm supposed to be doing this Do Over. And when preparing for it and deciding what goals to make I tried not to put too much on myself. I want to be realistic. And I want to be successful in my goals. And I don't usually set goals because I'm not usually successful and that's depressing. But I did it anyways.
Then I had a wonderfully refreshing conversation with my dear friend, Elisa. She didn't say anything different from Nathan. She just used different words (It's funny how that works sometimes, huh?). She said, "At least you are doing something." And it clicked. I AM doing something. I'm doing more than I was before and I'm continuing to work at doing more every day.
After she left I got and email from 5 Minutes for Parenting and this prayer from the article spoke the words that were buried in my heart:
MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
-Thomas Merton
I do believe that my desire to please the Lord does please Him. So, I keep on keeping on. I still don't get everything done every day. But I'm trying to see what I do accomplish and feel successful in that.
We had just gotten back from a week at the beach and I had turned around and left for a woman's retreat. I got back Sunday only to clean the kids up and head out of the house to go to a birthday party for my niece. It was a whirlwind kind of weekend but I was unusually relaxed and calm. And then Monday came.
I felt lost in my house after having been gone all week. I know that probably sounds funny but it's how I felt. I was overwhelmed by tasks that needed to be done and I didn't know where to start. The woman's retreat I was at was based on the books Power of a Praying Wife and For Woman Only. I was encouraged and challenged to be a better wife and mom and I want that so much that sometimes I feel like everything I do isn't good enough because it's not the best or consistent enough. You know, when you focus on laundry you turn around to find the kitchen a total disaster. When you try to meet all the kids needs you find that you are neglecting your husband. Or the schooling and meals get made but it's been days since you've sat and read or played with your kids. Am I alone in this? I don't think I am and I certainly hope not. But anyways, that's how I felt. Plus I was trying to fast. And I was failing most of my other goals, too.
After some tears and chocolate (yeah... the fast didn't last...) Nathan said, "You fasted during the day right?" And I was like, "Yeah, but I didn't complete it and the house is a mess...(just read the above paragraph for an overview of the rest of my failures. I don't want to revisit them right now). " And in his wonderfulness he made an attempt to cheer me up and let me know how much I do get done. But I was still struggling. My "pain" was masked by left over Halloween candy, but I was still frustrated and overwhelmed. And frustrated that I was overwhelmed.
I really feel like I'm supposed to be doing this Do Over. And when preparing for it and deciding what goals to make I tried not to put too much on myself. I want to be realistic. And I want to be successful in my goals. And I don't usually set goals because I'm not usually successful and that's depressing. But I did it anyways.
Then I had a wonderfully refreshing conversation with my dear friend, Elisa. She didn't say anything different from Nathan. She just used different words (It's funny how that works sometimes, huh?). She said, "At least you are doing something." And it clicked. I AM doing something. I'm doing more than I was before and I'm continuing to work at doing more every day.
After she left I got and email from 5 Minutes for Parenting and this prayer from the article spoke the words that were buried in my heart:
MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
-Thomas Merton
I do believe that my desire to please the Lord does please Him. So, I keep on keeping on. I still don't get everything done every day. But I'm trying to see what I do accomplish and feel successful in that.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Discipline, Not Desire, Determines Your Destiny
I did it! I've completed one week of my six month "Do Over". I know it' s only one week but I am so excited about what I've accomplished this last week. It's not been a perfect week and I have had to allow freedom for the ebb and flow of life, but the tiny mountains that I've conquered this week have given me a renewal of hope and determination.
I struggle with sharing this because my greatest mountain this week was my first fast. I don't want to appear boastful or proud. I am rejoicing in the grace that I have been given and in the knowledge that I can have discipline in areas of my life that I never thought would happen. For me this struggle has been such a huge Everest in my life and it has felt impassable. Now I know I am capable of doing this. I will say I am still not thrilled about fasting, but I do feel an excitement to "discipline my body and bring it into subjection" (1 Corinthians 9:27).
A revelation for me this week was that when my plans for the day/week have to change I tend to let the discipline slide and I put them of for another time when it's more convenient. Examples? Well, Nathan's schedule was different this week and typically I would just put Abiah's schooling off until things "got back to normal" and we would end up behind and I would feel like a failure. We did have to make a few changes to our school schedule this week but we've not gotten behind and I am learning flexibility. Also, I came down with a migrane Saturday that peaked Tuesday and eased off slowly Wednesday. Usually that would be a perfect reason for me to not have to fast. God doesn't want me to suffer that much, right?!? But I wanted to stick it out and work through it. I had to take it slow but I did it. And I didn't die.
The title for this post is from a sermon my mom heard a few weeks ago and shared with me this last Monday night. I realized that, while desire is good, when it is the only thing that we use to guide us we tend to flit from one passion to the next. We may be fully devoted to that one passion for awhile but when a new desire comes along we are easily swept away like a leaf on a blustery fall day. When we have a healthy diet of discipline we have an anchor or guide to keep us focused and to help us achieve our goals.
A dear friend once told me, "If we want to be disciplined in the big areas of our lives we have to start with the little ones." This is where is starts for me. Tell me, what are some disciplines that you have used or are using to help you achieve your goals?
I struggle with sharing this because my greatest mountain this week was my first fast. I don't want to appear boastful or proud. I am rejoicing in the grace that I have been given and in the knowledge that I can have discipline in areas of my life that I never thought would happen. For me this struggle has been such a huge Everest in my life and it has felt impassable. Now I know I am capable of doing this. I will say I am still not thrilled about fasting, but I do feel an excitement to "discipline my body and bring it into subjection" (1 Corinthians 9:27).
A revelation for me this week was that when my plans for the day/week have to change I tend to let the discipline slide and I put them of for another time when it's more convenient. Examples? Well, Nathan's schedule was different this week and typically I would just put Abiah's schooling off until things "got back to normal" and we would end up behind and I would feel like a failure. We did have to make a few changes to our school schedule this week but we've not gotten behind and I am learning flexibility. Also, I came down with a migrane Saturday that peaked Tuesday and eased off slowly Wednesday. Usually that would be a perfect reason for me to not have to fast. God doesn't want me to suffer that much, right?!? But I wanted to stick it out and work through it. I had to take it slow but I did it. And I didn't die.
The title for this post is from a sermon my mom heard a few weeks ago and shared with me this last Monday night. I realized that, while desire is good, when it is the only thing that we use to guide us we tend to flit from one passion to the next. We may be fully devoted to that one passion for awhile but when a new desire comes along we are easily swept away like a leaf on a blustery fall day. When we have a healthy diet of discipline we have an anchor or guide to keep us focused and to help us achieve our goals.
A dear friend once told me, "If we want to be disciplined in the big areas of our lives we have to start with the little ones." This is where is starts for me. Tell me, what are some disciplines that you have used or are using to help you achieve your goals?
Monday, September 28, 2009
Can I Get A "Do Over" Please?
I was in a six month internship at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, MO the summer/fall of 2004. Nathan and I had just started our courtship earlier that spring and I knew that when I got home we would be getting married. (That might sound presumptuous but I had known for about a year or more before we even started courting. A different story for another time.) In preparation for this six months away I made a list of things I wanted to do during my internship because I knew my life was going to be way different when I got home. It was mostly a list of personal disciplines that I wanted to conquer or achieve but in the end I wasted my time and didn't take advantage of those six months. I've really tried to not rake myself over the coals for my lack of discipline, and therefore failure, but I do regret it. And I want a "Do Over".
I've never wanted to be one of those people who has to exercise or I'll just die! And I've personally never really enjoyed things like fasting and dieting. But in my attempt to "not be legalistic" I've gotten lazy and am seriously lacking in the area of personal disciplines. So I'm giving myself a "Do Over". This as a choice I'm making, not rules I'm setting.
Here's my plan:
6 Month Do Over
October 2009-March 2010
1. Exercise 5 times a week.
I need it. That's the plain, not-so-pretty truth. And especially after the trauma this body has been through this year it needs some training and LOTS of toning.
2. Fasting.
Oh granny. I don't know if anyone is ever like, "YEAH! It's time to fast!" but I would really like to get to a place where I'm not swearing on the inside when I think of fasting. The main reason really that I want to fast is cause I failed miserably at my fasting commitment while in KC. My fasting plan will follow what I should have done in KC. I will be fasting the first Monday-Wednesday of every month, every Tuesday, and the first full week of December.
3. Read through the Bible in 6 months.
I've read many parts of the Bible over and over. And I've made many attempts to read it Genesis to Revelations but I've never succeeded. So I'm going to now. I found a great Bible reading plan resource online. My personal plan profile is called: 6 month personal do over.
4. Do school with Abiah 5 days a week.
It has been so easy for me to procrastinate when it comes to Abiah's schooling but now that he is in the 1st grade I really need to buckle down and make this a priority. I've learned so far that our schooling only takes 2-3 hours a day. I can do that.
5. Read with Nathan.
We have always wanted to read books together and have never seems to make it happen. But recently we've both been purposeful about it and it makes me happy. Right now we are reading Waking the Dead by John Eldridge. Nathan picked it out and that makes me happy, too. I love it when he leads in this area of our marriage.
6. Blog 2 times a week.
I started this blog because there are so many thoughts and ideas of stories swimming around in my head and I needed an outlet for them. I've always wanted to journal but I still have a fear that my sisters are gonna find my journal and tell everyone what I wrote. So I beat 'em to it and started a blog! Plus my kids are just too stinking cute and funny not to share with ya'll. The problem is that when I have time and the peace required to blog it's much easier to take a nap or watch a movie. And then my brain gets filled to a dangerous capacity with information that is fighting to get out. The truth is I need to blog. Need.
7. Read three "personal growth" books.
I actually don't really know that they would be labeled "personal growth" but I mean "books that aren't stories". My book choices are: Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer, Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges, and When I Lay My Isaac Down by Carol Kent. You may be thinking, "Wow! That's a lot of reading." And it is. But I've been working at reading Battlefield of the Mind for the past two years and have only recently finished part one of three. But since January of this year I have read at least ten novels. And I've watched plenty of movies and t.v. online. I can do this.
8. Monthly Specials.
Every month I have one special commitment thatwill last just for that month (with the exception of October and December's because it involves more than just me).
October: Potty train Hazel
November: Daily Cleanse vitamins
December: Wean Hazel from thuuuuth (which means friend in Hazel language, which is her pacifier).
January: Fast candy and deserts
February: For One Week*
March: 30 Day Shred with Jillian Michaels (I've heard it's brutal!)
*For One Week is an idea I read about when I was blog surfing. The problem is that I don't remember who's blog I was on. So whoever came up with this idea, I give you full credit for your creativity and wonderfulness. I don't take credit for this at all. The idea is to commit to do one new thing for seven days that you always want to do but forget about or are just to lazy to do. I have two of my four commitments so far.
Week 1: Greet Nathan at the door every night with a smile and a kiss.
Week 2: Call a different friend every day.
So, this is my "Do Over". It begins this Thursday and I will blog with updates regularly. If this has inspired you to do your own "Do Over"or if you have any questions about my choices leave a comment below and share.
I've never wanted to be one of those people who has to exercise or I'll just die! And I've personally never really enjoyed things like fasting and dieting. But in my attempt to "not be legalistic" I've gotten lazy and am seriously lacking in the area of personal disciplines. So I'm giving myself a "Do Over". This as a choice I'm making, not rules I'm setting.
Here's my plan:
6 Month Do Over
October 2009-March 2010
1. Exercise 5 times a week.
I need it. That's the plain, not-so-pretty truth. And especially after the trauma this body has been through this year it needs some training and LOTS of toning.
2. Fasting.
Oh granny. I don't know if anyone is ever like, "YEAH! It's time to fast!" but I would really like to get to a place where I'm not swearing on the inside when I think of fasting. The main reason really that I want to fast is cause I failed miserably at my fasting commitment while in KC. My fasting plan will follow what I should have done in KC. I will be fasting the first Monday-Wednesday of every month, every Tuesday, and the first full week of December.
3. Read through the Bible in 6 months.
I've read many parts of the Bible over and over. And I've made many attempts to read it Genesis to Revelations but I've never succeeded. So I'm going to now. I found a great Bible reading plan resource online. My personal plan profile is called: 6 month personal do over.
4. Do school with Abiah 5 days a week.
It has been so easy for me to procrastinate when it comes to Abiah's schooling but now that he is in the 1st grade I really need to buckle down and make this a priority. I've learned so far that our schooling only takes 2-3 hours a day. I can do that.
5. Read with Nathan.
We have always wanted to read books together and have never seems to make it happen. But recently we've both been purposeful about it and it makes me happy. Right now we are reading Waking the Dead by John Eldridge. Nathan picked it out and that makes me happy, too. I love it when he leads in this area of our marriage.
6. Blog 2 times a week.
I started this blog because there are so many thoughts and ideas of stories swimming around in my head and I needed an outlet for them. I've always wanted to journal but I still have a fear that my sisters are gonna find my journal and tell everyone what I wrote. So I beat 'em to it and started a blog! Plus my kids are just too stinking cute and funny not to share with ya'll. The problem is that when I have time and the peace required to blog it's much easier to take a nap or watch a movie. And then my brain gets filled to a dangerous capacity with information that is fighting to get out. The truth is I need to blog. Need.
7. Read three "personal growth" books.
I actually don't really know that they would be labeled "personal growth" but I mean "books that aren't stories". My book choices are: Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer, Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges, and When I Lay My Isaac Down by Carol Kent. You may be thinking, "Wow! That's a lot of reading." And it is. But I've been working at reading Battlefield of the Mind for the past two years and have only recently finished part one of three. But since January of this year I have read at least ten novels. And I've watched plenty of movies and t.v. online. I can do this.
8. Monthly Specials.
Every month I have one special commitment thatwill last just for that month (with the exception of October and December's because it involves more than just me).
October: Potty train Hazel
November: Daily Cleanse vitamins
December: Wean Hazel from thuuuuth (which means friend in Hazel language, which is her pacifier).
January: Fast candy and deserts
February: For One Week*
March: 30 Day Shred with Jillian Michaels (I've heard it's brutal!)
*For One Week is an idea I read about when I was blog surfing. The problem is that I don't remember who's blog I was on. So whoever came up with this idea, I give you full credit for your creativity and wonderfulness. I don't take credit for this at all. The idea is to commit to do one new thing for seven days that you always want to do but forget about or are just to lazy to do. I have two of my four commitments so far.
Week 1: Greet Nathan at the door every night with a smile and a kiss.
Week 2: Call a different friend every day.
So, this is my "Do Over". It begins this Thursday and I will blog with updates regularly. If this has inspired you to do your own "Do Over"or if you have any questions about my choices leave a comment below and share.
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