Not How

As a mom of six, the last two who are twins, I am constantly getting comments about my brood when I'm out. From older women it's usually of the "better you than me" variety. Or the ever popular "My your hands are full."

But I've noticed a trend in the comments from my young momma friends and even the ones I meet while I'm out (twins cause quite the stir and we rarely get through a store without a few stops to chat with random strangers). These are the mommas who are living in the motherhood trenches of sleepless nights, diaper changes, cold meals that were supposed to be eaten hot, training and consistency, school work and home work, etc. These are the mommas who have less than five or six children and they all say the same thing. "I just don't know how you do it."

I honestly get totally awkward when I get this comment. I feel like I should respond with a list of my five secrets. But I have none. Not even one. Or maybe I should give my parenting book recommendations. But I only really use bits and pieces of any parenting book I've read.

Or I could show you my daily planner filled with tips on organizing your life. But most days I can't even remember where I put my planner much less tell you what I've written in it. I always leave those conversations wishing I would have had the words to encourage the mommas where they are in their journey.

I've thought about what I do that may be different or helpful because I want to be an encouragement. But really I just do what I need to do (or as much as I can).

The reality is that it's not the "how" in what I do. It's the "why." And I bet you know why I do all of this.

Because it's why you do all that you do. Because you love your babies fiercely and want the best for them just like I do for mine.

All that how business doesn't matter. Not when you put your mind to the why. When we remember why we do this motherhood thing we just do what needs to be done because we love our kids.

 I have to remind myself of this when I'm overwhelmed with the "how am I going to do this" feelings. Which, in full disclosure, happens often.

We are Super Mommas because we super love our kids. Not because we are always super at everything we do. We still yell at our kids, forget about the smelly laundry, and burn the dinner. We don't always get the how part right. But I bet you always get the why part right.

And we need to remember these two things.

1. Children are so quick to forgive. (Remember Jesus wants us to be like them for a reason)

2. 1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins."

And it does. And we love our children deeply. And they love us deeply. And that's our why.

I pray that this makes sense (because I'm writing from a very sleep deprived state) and that it encourages you in your journey. Because it is just that. Yours. And it won't necessarily look like anyone else's. You've got this.

Be blessed, friends.

Because I Like to Share...

Today's reading from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young:


"Let My Love seep into the inner recesses of your being. Do not close off any part of yourself from Me. I know you inside and out, so do not try to present a "cleaned-up" self to Me. Wounds that you shut away from the Light of My Love will fester and become wormy. Secret sins that you "hide" from Me can split off and develop lives of their own, controlling you without your realizing it.


Open yourself full to My transforming Presence. Let My brilliant Love-Light search out and destroy hidden fears. This process requires time alone with Me, as My Love soaks into your innermost being. Enjoy My perfect Love, which expels every trace of fear."

Psalm 139: 23-24
Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Encouragement Towards Intentional Living

Apparently I'm not the only one purposing to be intentional this year. Check out these lovely posts that have encouraged me in my own journey the last few weeks:

Educator's Soliloquy
MCB and I were in a homeschool graduation ceremony together, attended the same church for awhile, and then worked in an office together. One of the things I've appreciated about her blog, her as a person, and this particular post is that though our lives so different from each other we share a common desire (and plenty of common interests). That common desire seems to make this huge world seem just a little smaller and cozier.


Inspired to Action
I've been following this blog since this last summer. I wrote about it here, here, and here. I was really enjoying my morning times and then I got pregnant. It was hard to get up early when I was in the throws of morning sickness. Now it's hard to get up early because I'm trying to grow a human and I need more sleep than I get. I still enjoy the encouragement I find in her posts though. The post linked above was a recent favorite.


Oh My Stinkin' Heck
I just realized lately that I don't actually follow OMSH. She is a guest post on the homeschool page of Pioneer Woman's blog. That's where I read her entries. I've admired the way she encourages the different personalities and interests in each of her children.

(I also secretly envy her homeschool room. I guess it's not a secret anymore. One day I will have a room as white and book shelf lined where everything has a proper place as she does. One day. Today is not that day.)

In the post linked above I kept coming back to the part about being all there. Being in the moment. The efficiency lover in me want to multi-task. The wife, mom, and woman in me needs to slow down and take in each moment.

This was evident even today when Abiah was reading out loud to me. I wondered what reading level the book he is going through (The Boxcar Children) would be considered so I got online to check it out. I missed a page and a half of what he was saying and he missed out on having my undivided attention.

Side note: Hazel has expresses a deep concern for these children that "have to get into the box." "Why, mom? Why do they have to get into the box?" Abiah is equally baffled but no so much concerned. He just doesn't understand what they are doing in a box. And how they all fit.
He also doesn't understand how Jackson eats while inside of me. And why does he have a cord coming out of his tummy? And what happens when they cut it off? And how do they even get him out of there? And why do babies belly buttons fall off after they are born? Does it hurt?

Anybody wanna take a stab at any one of those?

Crap. I didn't think so.
Side note over.

I have great plans for some detailed blogs about my move towards an intentional life. Stay tuned...

Motivation Monday: Inspired to Action

I've been wanting to write this post for the past week. The funny thing is, I've had to fight to find the motivation to do it!

Anyways, on to the subject at hand.

I've realized that my weekly routine is to be like the kernel of wheat that fell on the rocky soil - "a person who hears and instantly responds with enthusiasm. But there is no soil of character, and so when the emotions wear off and some difficulty arrives, there is nothing to show for it" (Matthew 13:20-21 MSG).

I will get excited about having an organized week with a clean house, dinner ready by six, happy clean children, and a happy Hot Hubby. And Monday afternoon when the kids attitudes stink and I haven't been able to get to everything on my To Do list, and all I want to do is be in Facebook land, I fall apart right along with my world around me. Plan out the window. Maybe this isn't my season for an organized life. I'll just let life happen to me. I'm unhappy.

So when in my blog stalking/hoping I came across Kat's blog, Inspired to Action, I was intrigued. And a bit nervous.

Kat has dedicated her blog to "practically helping moms develop the habits and skills they need to effectively manage their homes and raise children who are prepared to change the world."

That's me!

I downloaded her FREE! ebook, Maximize Your Mornings, and her calendars for praying for hubbies and kids. I read through the book. Made a plan. And have tried to stick to it.

The first week was easy. Up every morning at 5:30. Time for Bible study, prayer, worship, exercise and shower by 7:30. I was thinking, "This is gonna be easy!"

Week two: I don't feel good. My girls decide to wake up at six. Or be awake most of the night. (Okay. She really can't help that she's teething.) My plan wasn't working and I wanted to give up. But not really. And then I read the verse above.

What a timely word from the Lord!

My heart is starving for that time with Him. I feel more prepared for the day when I have that time. As the wife and mom I feel I sometimes get lost in the mix of the day. I get so busy taking care of everyone else I forget to properly take care of myself.

Properly meaning: something other than vegging out in front of my laptop or behind a book. Not that I don't still have time to do those things. It's just not the only time I take for myself.

I have had to come to a place where I can be at peace with my morning/day not going the way I plan. I have to do that every time something interrupts my plans, but, like I tell my kids, I'm not the only one in that family.

Well, I tell my kids they aren't the only one's in the family. I'm sure most of you understood that, though. Just had to clarify for my dad.

So, I encourage you to download the Free! ebook and read through it (you can find a link in the left hand column). I don't do everything exactly like Kat says because, well, she's not the boss of me. No. I joke. I think that everyone has to find what works best for them and their family. I'm still working on that.

As I do find thing that I like I will share them with you. It's always fun to see what works for other people because it just may be the thing you were looking for.

Find more stories of mom's Motivation Monday stories here.

Happy Labor Day, Mom! And A Royal Decree

I know what you're thinking, "She's a month off. Labor Day is next month."

But did you know that thirty years ago today was labor day for my mom? Yup. It's the day I was born.



And did you know Mt. Saint Helens also erupted that day? It's true. I've always been good with first impressions. Or causing natural disasters...

It's not why my first name is Helen, though. No. My mom named me after an 80 year old woman she knew. Then when I told her I was going to name my daughter Hazel she told me, "It sounds like an old lady name."

Huh?...



And did you also know that, in America, the month of August is the only month without a national holiday?



I'm just full of useful information today. It's all the wisdom I've gained in my thirty years of life.

Well, not all of it.

But pretty close.



Doesn't that picture look like my mom is choking me? She wasn't. I promise.



So. Back to the national holiday issue.

I think it's more than just a coincidence that the only month wanting a national holiday is also the month of my birth.

Something else you may not know is my Queenly situation. I am Queen. Of everything. Just ask my dad. But don't ask my sisters. They're still in De Nile. It's sad.



So, Mr. President, members of congress, and my fellow citizens, as Queen, I here by institute August 7th as Queen's Day. A national holiday. Think of it as Christmas. For me.

Not the "worshiping the Savior of the world" part. Just the presents part. And the "getting together to eat wonderful foods" part (soy and egg free of course).


(Roses from my Hot Hubby!)

It is written.

Let it be.

Thank you.

Amen.

The end.

P.S. I apologize for my photography skills. Or lack thereof.

My Community

The number one question I get asked when talking to other mom's about my blog is, "Do you feel like blogging is a way for you to let out all your frustrations from the day?" I quickly respond with an emphatic, "Yes!"

I am constantly surprised at the community I feel I have through blogging. Even though I don't personally know most of the ladies of the blogs I follow I am consistently encouraged by the passions and struggles we share. Through pregnancy, labor and delivery, potty training, and nasty attitudes you guys are here sharing your stories. We share recipes, homeschooling tips, and humorous stories. I look forward to sitting down and reading from you everyday.

As a SAHHM (stay-at-home-homeschooling-mom) my world sometimes seems limited and lonely. I am realizing now that my community is far reaching. From my family, my friends, my church, and my blogging community I have the support I need. But sometimes I need to reach out to let these people know that I need them. Something I'm sure we all struggle with.

I am speaking at church tomorrow about this very thing and wanted to share my message with you. It's long so bear with me. Let me know if you have any questions. And comments are, of course, always welcomed and appreciated. Also, I didn't type out the scripture passages so you might want to look them up so this makes more sense.

Message for Sunday, March 28, 2010

Last week when I said I had something to share I was referring to a word of thanks that's been on my heart for you all. As I've prepared for today, though, it has become a word of thanks plus what I pray is a word of encouragement to us all.

Just For Me Brownies Story

A few years ago our dear friend Becky sent my mom a recipe for Cookie Dough Brownies (recipe at the bottom of the page). On the recipe card in the space where you write how many servings there are Becky had written, "Just for me! :) She told my mom that she makes these brownies and keeps them in her freezer and would keep them for herself. It was her emergency stash. I'm sure most women have one of those. I know I do.

I also know that one of the only times we women do share our stash is if a girlfriend comes over and we're gonna sit down with our coffee or tea and have a little treat while we our struggles and our hearts with each other.

These brownies have three layers. To make the brownies correctly you have to give each layer time to cool and set up. But with each layer the brownies get better and better. I see that in relationships too. The more layers we get into with each other the better the relationship gets.

Keep this in mind as we talk through these verses.

Mark 10:46-52

Blind Bartimaeus wants to receive physical sight.

Jesus, being all knowing, could have healed him. *No questions asked. But Jesus stopped and asked, "What do you want me to do for you?" Not what do you want or what do you need, but what do you want me to do for you.

*( ie. Woman with the issue of blood - Matt 9:20-22)

For Bartimaeus to say he wants to see is him committing to what seeing means.

What did receiving physical sight mean to Bartimaeus? What was he now aware of?

What does it mean for us to receive sight spiritually speaking?

I heard a clip from a Bible study video today that explains this well. It's like God is saying to us, "You think you are here. Let me show you where you really are. then let me show you where I want to take you."

Seeing the bad is hard. And while seeing the good is relieving, most times it's hard because it's like the war is on and sometimes the fight seems harder than being ignorant of the situation. (example: finances, weight, a fight where you realize you are the one at fault) And sometimes having the faith to get through your circumstances is a fight on it's own.

Now lets look at Mark 10:47-49 specifically.

It's like a typical high school movie.

The unpopular kid is picked on & mistreated until the cool kid in school pays attention to him. Then all those who had just been ignoring and mistreating him turn around and now act like they've been friends with the unpopular kid forever.

But they aren't his real friends. Just like these people around Bartimaeus. They shove him out of the way and ignore his pleas for help. Until Jesus calls him out and pays attention to him.

What a contrast to the story of Luke 5:17-20.

This paralytic man was close enough to these men that they would carry him to the place where Jesus was.

They were close enough to him that when they couldn't get through the doorway they carried him up on a roof, tore the roof apart, then lowered him down in the middle of a meeting right in front of Jesus.

They had the faith and the ability to do what he couldn't.

Romans 1:11-12

When I first read vs 11 I assumed that the spiritual gift Paul was talking about was prophecy, teaching, tongues, ect. I also thought it seemed a little bold of Paul to say he would be imparting these gifts to the people.

But when we read vs 12 Paul clarifies what he means.

He explains that the spiritual gift is "you and I being mutually encouraged by each others faith".

Not just Paul encouraging them with his faith, but them encouraging each other. I know that for me sometimes I don't have faith for my situation but I can for my friends and vice versa. But we have to let each other into those struggles in order to be encouraged by each others faith.

TVBC is really good at loving each other. We bring meals, and visit the sick, and go to the hospital to be with each other. And I love it. Being on the receiving end of this love a few times in the last year has given me more of an appreciation for this ministry. And hearing from friends and family who have never seen this kind of love from a church before has opened my eyes to see how rare it really is in our culture.

Today what I want to encourage all of us to start doing is to go deeper. We all need stretcher bearers in our lives. People with whom we are so close we let them get in on the nitty gritty parts of our lives and hearts.

I'm sure we all have a friend or two that we share some of our private thoughts and struggles with. But how close are we letting each other get to our hearts and deep struggles.

We all need these kinds of relationships and we need each other. I'm not saying that these relationships don't exist. I want to encourage us to have more of them.

I tell Nathan almost everything. But there are times when I need advice in my marriage and I need to seek out other women to counsel me. When it comes to being a mother and struggling with my kids advice from a women who's been in my shoes is so helpful. I'm not necessarily going to find these things in just one person though.

Older women need the younger just as much as the younger need the older.
ex: raising kids, relating to husbands, help around the house, advice on growing up, mentoring, commiserating

Younger men need the older men and vice versa.
ex: raising kids, relating to wives, help with projects, financial advice, commiserating

Couples need each other
advice, commiserating, children

How big is your personal community?

How close do you let your community get to the issues of your heart?

Who is in your community?

It's time we pull out our Just For Me stash and let each other in.

Also, here's a list of books I've been reading lately that have ministered to me in this place I am right now:

Battlefield of the Mind - Joyce Meyers

When I Lay My Isaac Down - Carol Kent

Get Thin, Stay Thin - Arthur and Judy Halliday


Just For Me Cookie Dough Brownies

1 tsp salt, 2 C sugar, 1&1/2 C cocoa. Combine. Then add: 1/2 C oil, 4 eggs, 2 tsp vanilla. Mix well. Pour into a greased 9x13 pan. Bake for 20 minutes at 350. Cool completely.

Filling: 1/2 C butter, 1/2 C brown sugar, 1/4 C sugar, 2 Tbl milk, 1 tsp vanilla, 1 C flour. Cream together and spread over cooled brownies. Chill (about an hour).

Melt: 2 C chocolate chips, 1 can sweetened condensed milk, 1 tsp vanilla. Pour over chilled brownies. Freezes well.

I store them in the freezer so they last longer. :) Enjoy!

When Jesus Helps With The Laundry

The other night Nathan and I watched a movie called Conversations With God. It's the story based on Neale Walsch's journey to writing a book with the same title as the movie. I'm no good at recapping stories so I'll tell you what I got out of it.

God is everywhere and in everything. We are constantly conversing with Him. Most of the time we don't realize it though. I have often hoped, as a SAHM with minimal adult interaction, that when my mind is taken over by an army of random thoughts, frustrations and concerns that hopefully God was listening to that insanity and would see it as a prayer. As jumbled and crazy as it is. And after watching this movie I wanted to be aware of how much God was in the everyday tiny-to-me details of my life.

So today I'm sorting dirty laundry and thinking about this when I picked some clothes up to sort through and a few items fall down on the pile of dirty dark clothes. I looked down and realize that the clothes that fell belonged in that pile anyways and the clothes in my hands all belonged in the pile of light clothes.

I laughed to myself and thought, "Thanks Jesus for helping me with the laundry!" While I was debating about whether people would think I am crazy for thinking Jesus helps me sort dirty laundry I grabbed more clothes to sort. A small white sock fell on top of the dark clothes pile and I laughed once again and said, "Jesus, that's the wrong pile."

After moving the sock to the correct pile I wondered if people would think it was disrespectful of me to talk to God that way. There are those who say God has a sense of humor though so maybe this would fit into that category. I continued sorting as I debated this with myself.

After a few minutes I looked down and saw that I had placed some dark clothes on the light clothes pile.

I just had to laughed out loud.

Message from the Throne

As a wife to an adorable husband and a mom of three busy kids it's hard to find time (or energy sometimes) to read the Word. Recently a friend of mine suggested leaving a daily devotional in the bathroom because that seems to be the only place that moms sometimes get a few moments of peace. Sometimes. So, I have My Utmost for His Highest in my quiet place because the daily readings are short and a quick read but they pack a punch. I have yet to pick it up and feel like it doesn't apply to my life right now. So, I thought that I would share snippets here and there from my "Throne Room" readings and their impact on me.

This first one I'm just gonna write out for you because the whole thing was amazing to me and I am the WORST at rewording.

Reading from July 28: God's Purpose or Mine?
"He made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side..." Mark 6:45

We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God's purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself.

What is my vision of God's purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish-His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see "Him walking on the sea" with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see "Him walking on the sea". It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God.

God's training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.

God's purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious.

I was so encouraged by this the other day. Lately I've been overwhelmed by the feeling that I'm not quite getting everything done. I have a list of things that always need to be done around the house, plus the new to-do list of car accident related stuff, not to mention the fact that I am trying to be a wife, mom, and a healthy, beautiful woman. How wonderful to hear that I don't have to focus on the end goal but on my faithfulness to the journey.

Whenever I think about needing to loose weight or needing to make a life change or having a goal that requires more than a few days focus I think of the movie The Mirror Has Two Faces. I know that may sound funny but hear me out. In the movie the main female character decides to loose weight. She works out and changes her eating habits and reaches her goal. Great. But what I always think about is that it only takes her five minutes to accomplish her goal. And she gets background music! When I start working towards my goals I get excited for a day or two or maybe a week and then I'm discouraged because my long-term goal that I want to take five minutes (with background music, please!) hasn't been met.

So, I'm purposing to take it moment by moment, day by day and to remember that "if I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me."