Mommy or Servant

Sunday morning I woke up a bit frustrated. I'm not sure what all I was upset about, but later in the day after getting every one to and from church and coming home where all my family dispersed to relax expecting me to put lunch together I realized I was fighting a bad attitude. "Every one just expects things of me. No one offers to help. What would they do if I just sat down and didn't make lunch? I'm the only one who keeps things going around here."

I am thankful that I recognized the grumbling in my heart for what it was. A war. Selfishness.  I set myself to fight against it, though it was a battle that took some time. HH came in the kitchen to ask me what was wrong. After I explained my struggle he stayed and helped me finish lunch. :)

As we sat down to eat I popped an apple pie in the oven for our dessert. Of course it wasn't done right when we finished eating and all the kids grew restless and bored of the conversation we were trying to keep going to keep them entertained. By the time it was done very few of us were left in the kitchen. Mostly just me and the occasional visit from the children asking if the pie was done
 yet.

Right before I pulled it out of the oven Amelia came in sassily demanding, "Mom, I really want to taste that pie so get your booty to work."

"Hey!" I said, "You sure are being rude, missy."

Hazel had come in at the same time and agreed with me, "Yeah. Don't be rude to the servant."

I just had to stop. I stood there for a moment. One, I didn't even know how to respond. These kids leave me speechless  on a daily basis. Laugh? Correct? I don't know anymore.

Two, I knew internally I was standing at a cross-road. I could choose to let my six-year-old's innocent comment feed into the lies that I was already fighting in my head or I could see her remark for what it was. An imaginative child playing her fairy tale out in my kitchen.

The lies say my kids don't appreciate me; they don't see all the things I do for them. The truth is they see me for who I am: the one who takes care of them.Their Mom.

HH had missed the conversation so I told him about it. Hazel chimed in, "Yeah, because mommy is the servant."

"Yes," HH replied, "She is a servant. Jesus is a servant, too. Mommy is like Jesus."

Gah! So many things happened in my heart at that moment. Conviction. Encouragement. A re-girding of the truth. I can't tell you what it does to this heart that thrives on words of affirmation when my man-of-few-words talks like that!

 I love my job. I love my life. I love my husband. I love my kids. I love homeschooling. I love cooking for my family. I love caring for them. I love training them. I love being with them. I live to enjoy them. That, my friends, is my truth.

May you be encouraged to see your truth today.

Blessings!

Sweet Words: The Chatter Box

Every one always says that girls talk a lot. And they do, they do. But in our house Abiah is the talker. Always has been and probably always will. I've tried to get him to be quiet. For just a few minutes, PLEASE! Believe me.

If he's not talking he's making noise. And if he doesn't have anyone to listen to him he talks to himself. Or his imaginary friends/co-workers, Gen and Trucka. From the time he wakes in the morning, through his school day, while he plays, during meals, in the bathroom, getting into bed. Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.

Just recently, though, he was talking to me and told me that he realized something. "You know, mom. I was thinking, I'm just in my room getting ready for bed, talking to myself, saying what I need to do, and I realize that I don't have to talk to myself. 'Cause God is with me all the time and I can talk to Him. And I was like, 'Well, why am I talking to myself then? I can just talk to him!'"

And another time when we were talking about his school work for next year, particularly his Bible course and a new book I'm excited to have him go through (I'll share later), "You know, Mom. I was reading my Bible in the morning and I just realized how much I really love the Bible."

This kid. Let me tell you! There are times when I don't think he'll make it to his next birthday. But most of the time...he's just real swell.

And I guess we're just going to have to get used to his constant chatter. Because what parent wants to tell their kid to stop talking to GOD!?!

Sweet Words: With Piggy Tails

The other day, while snacking on the front porch, Amelia asked me, "Mom. Why God make us?" She was so serious and straight faced. The question seemed so big for her two-year-old self.

Through my smile I answered with a question of my own, choosing this moment as one of affirmation rather than one of teaching. "Why did God make us, Mills? Is it because He delights in us and wants us to glorify Him?"

Her answer held more untaught wisdom than my 31 years of learning would have known to reply.

"Yes. He make us pretty good. Wis piggy cails and jumping!" And as a dear friend said, "THIS is why He calls us to be like little children!"

Sweet Words: A Gentle Rebuke

My! The emotions are flying around the Crooked Castle these days! Between the Drama Club members and their postpartum momma we've gone through LOTS of tissue around here. We should by stock in tissue at the rate we use it.


Drama Club member since October 2007


Drama Club member since January 2009

Though we now have an equal number of boys and girls in our house, somehow the boys still seem out numbered.

You have my permission to feel sorry for them.

I've been at a loss knowing how to deal with the Drama Club. My recent spike in hormones isn't helping either!

From morning until night (and sometimes through the night) I find myself raising my voice (code: yelling!) at them out of frustration and irritation. I have moments of sanity and clearness of mind. Then suddenly I have no patience for their tears and lack of response to my requests and corrections.

Example? The other night Amelia came into the kitchen fussing while I was making dinner and Hot Hubby was busy. I knew she was getting hungry but the water works, though not unusual, were unnecessary. I thought. After I told her many times to go back and watch her movie I heard her say something about getting a tissue "out."

Thinking she was asking for a tissue I checked her nose to see if it was running. Seeing nothing that required more valuable tissue to be wasted, I told her she was fine and to please just go back to watching the movie!

Then she pointed to her nose and said, "Get tisoo out, Mom!" She had a small wad of tissue crammed up her nose (Thank you, Papa!). Then, when I tried to get it out of her nose, she freaked out and cried more! I was relieved when Hot Hubby took over. He dealt with the tissue AND the tears and earned some bonus points from Mommy.

So, the next day, after we had a few more emotional moments, I was dealing with guilt from my response and finally I remembered That I could/should apologize for yelling at them. Why do I always forget to apologize to my kids?!

I told Amelia I was sorry for yelling at her and asked her to forgive me. She said no, but I have a feeling she might not know what forgiveness means, being two years old and all. We hugged and kissed anyways. Then I apologized to Hazel, who does understand, and she forgave me and hugged and kissed on me.

As we were sitting there holding each other, Amelia walked passed with yet another wad of tissue hanging out of her nose! My first response was to yell at her to "GET THAT TISSUE OUT OF YOUR NOSE!"

After a few seconds Hazel turned to me and gently said, "Mom, remember when you said sorry for yelling at me?"

Ugh...heart dropping to my stomach...

"Yes, I do."

"Why did you yell at Millie? You should tell her you're sorry."

And she was right. And I did.