Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Finding the START

I could make a laundry list of the things that are going wrong around here. It's one of those seasons of life where it feels like there is more wrong than there is right. Sometimes it seems that if I just get it all down on paper I can sort it out, prioritize, and conquer. Because I can do that right? I can fix it all? Kiss the boo-boo. Make it better?

If I could get it all on paper I'm sure I could figure out where to start. It's like a maze with a hidden entrance. Oh, and your status as Super Mom is on the line. So hurry up and find that entrance so you can race through the maze straightening and mending as you go. The storybook picture is messy and it's your job to make it presentable.

Last night Hot Hubby came home and I fell into his arms exclaiming, "I'm feel so derailed! Where do I even start? What do I do?"

Wrapping me securely in his muscular embrace (hubba, hubba) He whispered, "Just hold on to me."

There really is nothing like the partnership of marriage. Having a hot stud for a partner helps, too. Let me tell ya. Or not...

I'm pondering while he's fixing. Why do I always try to fix things on my own when it's so enjoyable to watch him work? Why do I always try to fix it all on my own when the thing I want most is to be partnered with him in everything? This is what I want. Life with him. All to often I try to take on our life's "crazy" all on my own. But the reality is that we signed up to do this thing together. Clogged washing machine drain pipes and all. It's the dream we had. All of life. Always together.

But sometimes I just feel so useless. What's my role in all of this? How do I help? While a stay-at-home-mom should make $115,432 annually, they don't. Not this one, anyways.

I go to the kitchen to start cleaning up from dinner. Behind the noise of running water and running children I hear the song change on the ipod. When I first heard this song months ago I declared a family rule: anytime this song comes on the music gets turned up and everyone has to dance. I hesitate because the dishes need to be done.

Thankfully I ignored the dishes. I come into the living room in time to see Hazel reaching to turn the music up. She knows the rule. And maybe she knows how much we need this. I turn the music up. Loud. And I start to dance.

Hot Hubby looks at me like I'm crazy. But I remind him that it's what he loves about me. The girls are instantly giggling. Even Jackson laughs. Soon we are all dancing. Smiles spread across faces that were just wearing the stress of the day.

I needed that moment. So did they. Because, as the saying goes, if momma aint happy...

So maybe that's my role. To encourage the happy. To find the joy in the everyday and to help them see it too.

"But I have trusted in Your mercy; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation." Psalm 13:5

So that's where I'll start.


Amanda Evans said...

Love that song--I can so relate to it! Thanks for the reminder to be the happiness. It's easy to blame something, someone, anything else when "mama ain't happy" and no one is. But we have the power to change. *I* can make mama happy and that will make everyone happy! Now to just remember it when I need to... :-)

pistolsnprincesses said...

I totally understand, Amanda! And I've never liked the "If momma ain't happy" saying because it seemed like a selfish threat. Through my journey of motherhood I've realized that it doesn't have to be a threat, it can be my reminder.

Marie C. said...

I love the "music gets turned up and everyone dances" rule! It's such a good idea to pause and remember to be present -- and we can be happy in the present because we're not worrying about tomorrow (or dinner on the stove or leaky pipes or whatever...). I listen to Roy Orbison and Sam Cooke in the kitchen because it makes me smile and dance and stay grounded in the present. Honey laughs at me, but I think he's thankful when I'm in a happier mood! :-)

LaFonda Dunlap said...

Great job in training your little ones! I love that God uses them to remind us of the simple, pure, valuable things like dancing when it's the last thing on our minds and list of things to do! I love it!