Interviews with Amelia: Heaven and The Zoo

At some point every day Amelia and I will end up having a conversation that I wish I could have recorded. She is so expressive and hilarious that I just want everyone else to get in on the adorable-ness that is Amelia. She's pretty addicting. In the first video we had already been talking about heaven. She brought it up for some reason that I can't remember. The conversation then changed to our plans for the day. In our second conversation Amelia gives her opinion on the zoo. We are also privileged to have the opinion of Hazel, a few shots of Great Grandma, and Jackson serenading in the background.

Wordless Wednesday: A Lesson: Getting Daddy to Wrestle

P.S. That is not a bruise on Abiah's forehead. It's his mushroom tattoo. Another attempt at getting Daddy to wrestle.

How else will she know?

I stand at the counter making lunch. She's right here by my side. Every time I move to get something out of cupboard or fridge I practically stumble over her. Eyes wide, she watches my every move. Every twist on a lid. Every stroke of the spreading knife. Then the question comes. "Mom, can you teach me how to spread the jelly with the butter knife?"

 These days it's pretty much a guarantee. If I'm working in the kitchen she's there at my elbow. Watching closely. Asking questions. Requesting a taste of every ingredient. Eager to help. Hungry to learn.

It's not just in the kitchen either. Folding laundry. Changing diapers. Doing my make-up. Writing grocery lists. Whatever I'm doing she's close behind watching and learning.

But I'm not the only one she follows around. There's this boy who wears a purple shirt. He's a relative. That means nothing to her almost-four-year-old self. What she knows is that she likes him. I don't know if she has a real reason for her little girl crush. When I ask she says,'He's a boy!" But there are many other boys that she doesn't give two seconds of attention to.

Purple Shirt Boy gets a lot of her attention. When he's around she follows him quietly playing in his shadow. Trying to be a apart of whatever he may be doing at the time. When he's not around she talks about him. Dreams about him. Plans her wardrobe around him.

"Mom, he and I have purple shirts. I have a purple shirt and he has a purple shirt. We both have purple shirts, Mom. We match."

"Mom, he and I both pick our boogers. I pick my boogers and he picks his boogers. We both do, Mom."

"Mom, I got stung by a bee and he got stung by a bee. He did and I did, Mom. We're the same."

"Mom, when I see him I'm going to wear my purple shirt so that we can match."

"Mom, I want to wear a dress. He likes it when I wear a dress so I want to wear a dress because I look pretty when I wear a dress."

She's four. I know it's an innocent little crush. But it still scares me. Because the apple?... And the tree?... and the falling?...I remember when my cousin came to live with us. We were both five. And he was CUTE! I chased him around the yard and tried to kiss him. I know that particular crush didn't last long. But there were others. Many others.

And the things she says at almost four, I was still saying in my twenties.

"If I do my hair this way..."


"If I wear these clothes..."

And with Hot Hubby all of that was blown out of the water. I didn't need to be anything other than me. That's how I knew he was the one.

But how do I teach her that now? At four? That she doesn't need to be whatever-she-thinks whoever-he-is would like her to be? All she has to be is her amazing little self.

I worry I don't have the words. I think long. Pray hard. And then I remember.

"Mom, will you teach me how to spread the jelly with the butter knife?"

My job? It's to show her.

Walking Together

"It seems that it is by the means of seemingly perfunctory daily rituals and routines that we enhance the personal relationships that nourish and sustain us." ~ Kathleen Norris

I believe the statement above to be true. So I am sharing some of our "daily living" with you all and inviting you to walk along side us.

My calendar for the past month looks like a crazy mess. Pencil scrawling in every square allotted to the specific dates. Bar-b-ques. Birthday parties. Doctor appointments. Car repair appointments. Tea and coffee with friends. Support group meetings. Emergencies. Babies. Family. Friends. Life.

As I turn the page to the glorious fall month that is quickly approaching us I see the pencil lead has already found it's way over there. Filling up white space. Leaving plans of family, friends, and life in it's wake.

My heart. It feels weak. My body too. I feel unqualified. To inexperienced to manage this family of six. School started two weeks ago. We've successfully accomplished maybe a weeks worth. The laundry is piling up. I don't have time for the meals I planned and shopped for. With a calendar filling up with life's necessities how do I make it all work?

"Trust Me and refuse to worry, for I am your Strength and Song." I read from Jesus Calling this morning. "You are feeling wobbly this morning, looking at difficult times looming ahead, measuring them against your own strength. However, they are not today's tasks-or even tomorrow's. So leave them in the future and come home to the present, where you will find Me waiting for you. Since I am your Strength, I can empower you to handle each task as it comes. Because I am your Song, I can give you joy as you work alongside Me."

I take those words tucking them into the deep pockets of my heart. Within a few hours my hands are reaching down deep pulling them back out. My eyes are reading. My heart is eating. My whole body is relaxing. Just today. That's what I need to do.

Amelia goes in to the eye doctor next Friday. Her right eye has started to pull to the left. I'm grateful we are catching it early. My mind imagines doctor appointment after doctor appointment. Not today's task. Leave it to the future.

The day before her appointment our car goes back to the mechanic for more work. It's the brakes this time. Last week it was the water pump. Not today's task. Leave it to the future.

Friday morning before Amelia's appointment i go in for an ultra sound. They found a cyst on my right ovary when I went to the ER last week with pain in my lower right abdomen. There are plans for surgery to remove the cyst. Possibly the ovary too. Not today's task. Leave it to the future.

The devotion continues, "Keep bringing your mind back to the present moment. Among all My creatures, only humans can anticipate future events. This ability is a blessing, but it becomes a curse whenever it is misused. If you use your magnificent mind to worry about tomorrow, you cloak yourself in dark unbelief. However, when the hope of heaven fills your thoughts, the Light of My Presence envelopes you. Though heaven is future, it is also present tense. As you walk in the Light with Me, you have one foot on earth and one foot in heaven."

Jesus, thank you for the gift of anticipation. May I reciprocate grace for grace and use that blessing in the way it was intended. Being here. Today.

'Til My Sides Hurt: Same Same

When I was a kid my sisters and I had this saying. Whenever we realized were had something similar as each other, whatever it may be, we would say, "Same same!" Example?

Sister #1: "I have a cookie!"

Sister #2: "Me too!"

Sisters #1&2: "Same same!"

Silly? Sure. Weird? Of course. But it was our thing. Actually I think we still do it sometimes.

Anyways, my girls are at a stage where they are recognizing similarities between themselves and the people in their lives. Of course, this also means that they realize there are some differences too. Which has taken a lot of careful explaining on my part. Or not.

The other day Hazel kindly pointed out that I have a big rump. Being as graceful as one can be in such a situation I barked back, "Yes. I do. And when you and Amelia get older you will have big butts too!" And then I went and transferred money to their therapy funds. But we'll be same same!

Then today I took Amelia to the Dr. for some vision issues. As the nurse was checking her eyes, Amelia said, "I have boo eyes like Maga!"

The nurse replied, "Yes, you do! And you have pretty blonde hair too!"

Then, while stroking my bosom, Amelia said, "And I gonna have big boobies like my mamma when I get ohder!"

Same same!

"Til My Sides Hurt: Freakin' Spiders

This morning as I was loading some towels into the washing machine a huge spider landed on my bosom. It took me a second to realize what it was (eyes are getting old?) but when I did I screamed and did the crazy dance as I frantically brushed it to the floor.

After another second of hesitation I realized that I would have to kill it myself. Nathan is gone hunting and Abiah was still in bed. I figured it probably wouldn't be nice of me to ask my young little girls to take care of it. I quickly smashed it with the dirty wash rag in my hand and threw it in the garbage.

Hazel came over asking what was going on. When I told her she said, "Well, I'm not freakin' about it."

Apparently my almost four year old is more mature than me.