'Tis the Season!

The stocking are hung and the presents are ready for the excited kiddos!

It's Christmas Eve at the Krooked Kastle! HH is off so he can take care of things while I re-cooperate so we decided to take advantage of the fact that we have him all to ourselves. 

New Christmas pj's!

I hope to be back in a few days to share some of our holiday/advent activities. Love to you all and Merry Christmas from the Krooked Kastle!

and ?

November 21st. The evening before Thanksgiving we were at my in-laws spending the night. I had a feeling that day that I may be "late" for a reason other than my cycle adjusting as it is sometimes prone to do. I snuck out of the house for a quick trip to the pharmacy. Within 5 minutes of my return I knew I was right. There were two lines on the stick. But they were faint so I needed to reassure myself by taking another test.

I spent the evening texting HH trying to use my super human powers to get him to check his phone that was most likely in his locker, which is where he's supposed to keep it while at work. He did end up calling on his break in the wee hours of the morning and I told him to stop and get another test before he came to his parents the next morning. Morning pee is always better. Every woman knows that!

I met him at the door and without so much as a "hello" or greeting kiss snatched the paper bad out of his hands and was on my way to the bathroom. Once again, two lines.

We were a bit surprised. We always know it's a possibility because we do the calendar method and sometimes a person's  math can be a bit off. Even though we'd had many discussions about whether four was our number or if we wanted to have more and hadn't come up with an answer I was excited. And at peace. I just kept looking at my other babies and thinking, "I just love them so much! Why not have another one!"

We told our parents and siblings but decided to keep it a secret from everyone else. I had a plan. I don' usually wait to say something. To me, as soon as there are two lines I want to tell everyone. That baby, as small as it may be, is a life and I want to celebrate it!

This time, however, I wanted to announce it with a Christmas card. In our almost 8 years of marriage I don't know that I've ever got Christmas cards out in the mail. Every year I plan to. I know that there were even a few years where I wrote letters and they sat for months after the New Year not being mailed. This year was going to be different and now I had a good incentive!

November 27th. I order cards from Costco. I picked out a picture of each of the kids and one of me and HH together, arranged them on the card. I already knew what I wanted to say on the card. I just hoped there is room. There is and it reads:

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we!

Let all within us praise His holy name!

Nathan, Shiree, Abiah,

Hazel, Amelia, Jackson, and ?

The first two lines are from the third verse of my favorite Christmas carol, O Holy Night. They speak of joy that we feel and the praise we raise. And then there are the names. Mine scratched with those of  my favorite people on this spinning ball. And we are praising and rejoicing in the gift He has given this year. We talk about the future and the kids debate: girl or boy.

Three days later I wake with what feels like the worst gas pain in the universe. It's a half hour before HH is due to be home but I call him anyways because something inside me says this isn't right. He assures me he's on his way home. I try to go to the bathroom and end up in the shower letting the hot water run down my back. By the time HH does get home the pain has subsided. 

The whole ordeal lasted around 45 minutes and I assume that my original suspicions are correct. Gas. Of the "makes you wanna gouge your eyes out" variety.

The next day. Saturday, December 1st. The kids and I wake and prepare for our monthly grocery shopping expedition including shopping for all the Christmas goodies we plan to make for friends and family. We are taking my MIL along with us. We get to her house around 10:15 and begin the crazy adventure right away.

Fred Meyers

Goodwill drop-off

Bi-Mart

Safeway

When we get to Safeway I start to feel hungry. I push it aside knowing that we will eat after this stop. By the time we leave about and hour and a half later I'm having pain in my stomach. I assume it's because I've waited to long to eat. We pick up some food and head back to my MIL's to put cold food in her fridge. When we leave there I'm still in pain and it's getting worse, but I still think it's gas. In fact I think it's gas all the way through the rest of our shopping day:

Dave's Killer Bread

Bob's Red Mill

Trader Joe's

Party City

Micheal's

Penzy's

Winco (because Party City didn't have what we needed)

And finally Costco.

When we get back to my MIL's she has wisely suggested I stay at her house until HH gets off work so he can follow me home and help me with the groceries and the kids. In the meantime I head to her guest room to rest and try to get relief from what I'm still thinking is gas. My MIL had recommended calling the advice nurse and why I hadn't thought of that I don't know. 

The midwife on call and I both are now worried it may be appendicitis or a tubal pregnancy and she says to head to the ER right away. My FIL insists on driving me since HH is still at work and will have to meet me there. FIL and I leave joking around and telling fart stories and jokes on the drive and while waiting in the ER. Thankfully the initial wait isn't long. But the night did turn long. 

Because I was pregnant the first test they do is an ultra sound. They think they see a possible cyst on my right side ovary but it's too early in my pregnancy to expect to see anything in the uterus so they aren't surprised when they don't see anything there. They can't see my appendix with an ultra sound so they wanna to a CT. But they can't since I'm pregnant, so they wanna do an MRI. 

Here panic mode set in and I had to make myself do something I never wanted to do. Thankfully HH was able to stand right next to my head and hold my hand. And through the fluster of my anxiety I was able to know exactly what I needed to get through that 20 minute test: No socks. No blanket on my legs. Arms above my head. Holding HH's hand and staring into his milk chocolate eyes.

The test showed that it wasn't my appendix and showed more clearly that there was indeed something wrong with my right ovary. The OB Dr's apprehension was that it could have been a cyst that would just go away and I would have a normal pregnancy or it could be a tubal pregnancy. There were risks to doing surgery and there were risks to waiting. 

Due to the amount of pain I was I in new we just needed to do the surgery and trust that God would direct the Dr. By 4 am Sunday, December 2nd I was in surgery. Two hours later I woke up in recovery and the nurse confirmed our suspicions  Tubal pregnancy. The Dr had to remove the lower portion of my right Fallopian tube where the egg had attached itself.

This story is long. But I feel like it's not even over. I write it down because I need to. For me. I know as you read through it may have seemed hopeless and maybe a downer of a post. But through it all I've felt a sense of peace. And I've been able to see my prayers answered.

Our Christmas cards speak of the joy we feel and the praise we raise. And though initially we meant that for something else, we still are rejoicing and praising. Because even in the hard and sad times you can. And I must.

I am thankful for and rejoicing that:

My MIL was able to help me on Saturday and for the wisdom she spoke

My FIL humor and gentleness 

HH. Even after being up for over 24 hours, sat up with me all night and reassured me when I was scared, helped me through one of my worst fears, cried with me when we knew our dreams were shattering, and has always, ALWAYS, loved me unconditionally.

My beautiful babies. I miss them. They are such good kids. The are the greatest blessing.

An OB Dr who was sensitive to us and acknowledged the life growing within me but knew to take the danger seriously.

The wisdom and clarity that the Dr had during the surgery.

Coming out of anesthesia wasn't hard this time. It was peaceful and easy.

Fantastic nursing staff.

My mom and sister visiting us in the hospital. Whenever I'm hurt or sad, instinctively I want to be surrounded by three people: HH, my Mom, and my PinDin. 

The beautiful shiny bird my sister gave me in remembrance of our tiny. Put a bird on it. Makes it better.

My in-laws bringing our van load of groceries home and putting them all away. They truly are the best.

My mom coming over and cooking and organizing all the groceries I bought so they don't go to waste while I'm on two weeks of bed rest.

The friends and family who have shown an overwhelming amount of love and support with notes, texts, meals, childcare, and love.

My Jesus, who loves me so intimately that He would give me wisdom during an anxiety inducing experience, give me peace about the loss of our tiny, and gives me the reassurance that He is loving that baby for us right now. I have to believe.

Maple Syrup Meets Chubby Cheeks

Why we don't do Halloween...a few weeks late.

So, HH and I have gone back and forth over the last few years about our family's involvement in Halloween.  Both of us grew up in homes that took a back seat on the 31st of October, but, like with most things, we have to figure out what we want for our family.

Amelia's Lady Gaga costume

Cowgirl Chinna

While HH has his definite reasons for us to not be involved, every year I hear about and see the cute pictures of all my friends kiddos plastered all over facebook and I just want to join in the fun! But every year the whole Satan's holiday thing trumps the whole cute kids dressed up thing and we choose to have a pizza/candy/movie party at his parents. And we have a ton of fun!

Hunting guy and girl

Abiah's Christopher Robin costume

This year as November 1st dawned and I groggily tried to wake from my candy induced comma, I decided to wake myself up with a little facebook stalking. Browsing through all the pictures of kids and the comments from the parents about stealing trick-or-treat candy from their children, I once again wondered why we don't do this.

Fairies

Ballerina/Butterfly catcher

At that moment my girls, who had just gotten dressed for the day, came into the family room in new clothes. The ones the usually wear all day, every day. Their dress ups. And they started begging for breakfast. And I suddenly knew why we don't do Halloween.

Hazel in Daddy's underware

Hazel's Lady Gaga #1

In our house everyday is Halloween. All of my kids prefer dress up clothes to normal, everyday clothes. And all day everyday they beg me for food and if I don't hurry up and get them what they want they whine and fuss...which is the worst trick a mom has to endure.

Hazel's Lady Gaga #2

The Weeping Fairy

Hunting Girl

So basically, we get the fun side of Halloween without all of the scary stuff. Except for the whining. That's not fun and sometimes it's definitely scary.

Hunting Guy

The Three Amigos

The Fairy Godfather

 So, next year when the end of October rolls around and everyone starts talking about their cute kids and all the candy they scored, I'll head to my in-laws with my cute kids and we'll eat pizza and candy and watch a movie or make a fall craft enjoying our quiet evening.

Jackson started wearing his sisters princess high heels.

So we got him some "man boots."

Ballerinas

Chubby Hunting Guy

 I'll give you guys Halloween...'cause I get the rest of the year. I'm generous like that.

Today's Thing that makes you go "Hmmmm..."

If laughter is the best medicine...

And just a spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down...

Shouldn't we get a treat every time we laugh?!?


Blast from the past pics of the kids:

I think the word would be a much happier place.

My life in Pin: Foxy Leaves

When I saw this pin idea for foxes made out of maple leaves I knew we had to make some. We have a huge maple tree in our back yard that is currently shedding all over our yard so we weren't lacking for the supplies. Also, it's fall and this project just fits the season.

Gathering small leaves for the ears.

Throwing dirt!

Working hard!

Using scissors and glue all in one day is such a treat!

There's a reason they are doing this project standing. This is what we built that morning so our chairs were being used:

Jackson hid in the tent while we worked.

Someone got glue happy!

Amelia's foxes after the mounds of glue dried.

Abiah's foxes

Hazel's foxes took the longest to dry.

I just adore how these turned out. Each one has such character. And it was easy and cheap. Those are the characters I look for when crafting.

My Life in Pin: Mess Free Finger Painting

This week's My Life in Pin installment comes from my To make with kids board. Mess free finger painting (original pin). I love the idea! I've had the same jars of paint for too many years because I don't like the mess of paint  + kids. 

I decided to pull this one out one day when I needed to distract Jackson for a few minutes so I could do some work with Hazel and Abiah. Amelia was content to color.

To begin you squirt some paint into a ziplock bag. Then you place it on top of a piece of plain paper and tape both down to the table surface. 

The child is then free to mix the paints up as much as they like...but the paint stays in the bag!

Of course, some children just prefer to rip the bag off of the paper...

and color like sister.

I think this project will work better with the older kids. They understand the concept of "don't rip that off there!" Well, kind of. They were all interested at least so I'm sure I'll be using it again.

If you haven't already, find me on Pinterest! My username is queenshiree.