pistolsnprincesses

Because...

2012-01-26T14:06:00.000-08:00

She has captivated my heart...

and so has she...

and so has he...

That's why.

Dear Blogary and A List

2012-01-23T16:25:00.000-08:00

When I was younger I tried for many years to keep a journal. I would list my daily activities in my journal consistently for about a week and then get distracted. Which doesn't take much for me.

But we aren't here to discuss my attention span.

Oh! I just painted my finger nails last night and they look so pretty.

Anyways, when I would get back into journaling, say a month or six later, I always felt the need to apologize to my diary for my lack of communication. "Dear Diary, I'm sorry I haven't written much lately. I've been so busy..."

I always went back later and got rid of the evidence of my insanity. Just like I would do when I had worked up the nerve to confess to my diary who my current crush was but then would get struck with the reality that my sisters were sure to find my diary and would most definitely use its contents against me. Most of my diaries are missing many pages.

Please humor me and tell me I'm not the only crazy person who actually talked to their diary like it was a human whose feeling were hurt from a lack of communication!

No? Well, I guess I'll just chalk it up as another one for the books. For whoever is keeping record.

So, all of that babble is to say that I've been feeling like I needed to get on here and apologize to my blog for my absence. It's odd really that one of the things I count on for helping me sort the crazy in my head is one of the things I have the least time for. Which may explain a lot about my recent mental state (let' just say Hot Hubby is a true prince!).

In order to catch you up on the last few months I thought I'd write a quick list. My last post was on November 16th (yikes!) and since then:

1. We had a fantastic Thanksgiving at my in-laws. This year it was just Hot Hubby, Me, and our kids, my SIL, and Hot Hubby's sweet maternal Grandpa. It was a quiet event and my favorite part was watching Great Grandpa get down on the floor with Hazel and Amelia to play with them and chat with them. SO adorable!

2. This was my first year of Black Friday shopping. After many years of insisting that I would hate it I decided to go along with my MIL and SIL "just for the ride." They've asked me every year since Hot Hubby and I have been married. This year I decided it was worth getting up at 4:30 to hang out with my MIL (and get a few hours off from children) and go browse the shops. I'm officially addicted! We are already saving up for this year. Although there will have to be a better budget set up. FOR SURE!

3. Every weekend in December was BOOKED! Hot Hubby, Abiah and my FIL took one weekend to head up to the Cabela's near Seattle while Jackson, the girls, and I stayed behind with my MIL and did some shopping of our own. I think that my MIL and I shopped three weekends in a row. We may or may not be good for each other in that way.

4. My oldest niece, the one who made me an Auntie, turned 12! She celebrated with a shopping day at the mall and dinner afterwards. I was so excited and honored to be invited to celebrate with her. She has grown into such a delightful little lady. I enjoy her so much and that day was so much FUN!

5. The weekend before Christmas we celebrated the holiday with a weekend bash at my parents. All four of us girls, three of the four spouses, and all FIFTEEN grandchildren. It was crazy and fantastic all wrapped up in one. Great memories were made. And Hot Hubby had a birthday! I'm so glad he was born!

6. Christmas weekend we spent one night with Hot Hubby's family and were home in time for the kids to unwrap their Christmas jammies and set out some cookies and Coke for Santa. It was probably my favorite Christmas since we've been married. Because our extended family celebrations were a week apart we didn't have to rush and we got to have two days just being home with our kiddos. Of course I kept forgetting to take pictures, but here's one of the kids in their new jammies:

7. The New Year brought us back to reality of school and busy life. The major thing on our calendar was Amelia's eye surgery. She needed a strabismus recession (moving the inner eye muscle back) because her eyes were crossing. Though I never would want my almost three year old to have to go through any kind of surgery, I am glad that she had this done. She has been a trooper through the whole experience. Glasses, patching, and surgery all since September. Since she is only three she didn't fully grasp what surgery meant but she let me know she was going to let Dr. Bock "fix her eyes." Thankfully, due to some medications, she was a bit loopy by the time she was taken in for the procedure. When she came out about an hour later she was fussy but easily consoled by sitting with me and rocking. She was tired and slept a lot the first day, but recovered quickly and is back to her normal state of sassy, busy Amelia. We are encouraged by the progress we see in her eyes. And I am so proud of her for being brave and strong through all of this.

Amelia with glasses before surgery.

Amelia without glasses before surgery.


Heading down for surgery.

Watching cartoons!

With glasses post-op. Sorry for the glare. She was being a turd.

Without glasses post-op. Still being a turd.

I do hope to spend a little more time in this corner of my world. I've missed it.

Wordless Wednesday: Chubby cheeks, hands, and feet

2011-11-16T09:55:00.000-08:00

Six months as of November 3rd.

Weight:18lbs 6oz (70%)

Height: 26.5 inches (65-70%)

Head: 47cm (95%!!!!)

'Til My Sides Hurt: For his future girlfriend

2011-11-14T09:41:00.000-08:00

Abiah came out donning this nice get up the other night while the girls were dressing up as fairies. He said he was the Fairy Godmother.

Hot Hubby, of course, started telling him to, "Take it off right now!" Abiah was looking for a wrestling match though and stood his ground. When I got out the camera he willingly posed for a picture. However, when I told him I was looking forward to sharing it with his future girlfriend, he instantly changed back into his regular clothes. He did get his wrestling match though. So he won. And so did I!

The Sixth Love Language

2011-11-12T09:21:00.001-08:00

You may have heard of The Five Love Languages; a book written by Gary Chapman. It's been out for many years now and a great help to many marriages. I know that personally, Hot Hubby and I have benefited from the nuggets of wisdom scattered throughout the book. I even got the Love Language Book for children.

In the last few years I have referred back to that book too many times to count. And it has proven to be helpful. I just felt a need to get it out there that I think there is one Love Language that Gary failed to cover. Maybe it stands out to me because it's just as vital to my everyday living as my native tongue.

The Love Language of Coffee.

There really isn't much of anything that speaks to my heart the way a god cup of strong coffee does. Hot Hubby has blessed me many a time by stopping just to get me coffee. When it's my idea and he complies I like it. When it's his idea I LOVE it!

So, when I woke to find this on the counter this morning I was elated:

Especially since I was up at 4:30 yesterday morning with his kids, and then again multiple times throughout the night with his kids again. Hot Hubby earned himself a few bonus points for that one, let me tell you. And it just tastes so much better when someone else makes it!

So, Mr. Chapman, I love the book. I really do. I just think you may want to revise it to include the data I've personally researched and so thoroughly documented here.

Sincerely,

Shiree aka The Spoiled Wife of Hot Hubby

'Til My Sides Hurt: Because some days I wonder if I'm really qualified

2011-11-10T08:27:00.000-08:00

During school one day I was reading from Revelations and trying to keep three wiggly kids sitting in their seats. I started with this: "Then I looked and heard the voice of millions and millions of angels. They surrounded the throne. They surrounded the living creatures and elders."

It was at this point that Amelia got up from her chair. This is what I ended up saying: "In a loud voice they sang, You sit your butt down right now!"

It was pretty much chaos for a few minutes as Abiah and I tried to control our laughter. We were calmed down for a few minutes when I grabbed our history book and said, "Now. I'm going to read to you and I want you to listen to me. So open your mouths and close your ears."

I was surprised we got anything accomplished that day. Really though, I'm surprised that I get anything accomplished any day. So I guess it was a pretty normal day.

Confessions. Brought to you by the letter D.

2011-11-09T07:00:00.000-08:00

Confession #1: Last night Hot Hubby had to convince me to have salad for Dinner. How backwards is that?! The reason? Juanita's. Juanita's are the best tortilla chips ever!

I had plans to make taco salad for dinner. The whole reason I made that decision was because of the Juanita's. And fresh guacamole. So, while I stood at the counter facing the two heads of lettuce and a can of olives that needed to be chopped on one side of me and the bag of chips and bowl of guacamole on the other, I decided that it would be easier to throw some cheese on the chips and call it Nacho Night.

I was pretty shocked when Hot Hubby protested. So I ate salad. Because I had to.

Confession #2: I just realized this last weekend that it is my job to make sure my family gets into the Dentist for their routine cleanings. I don't know the source of that brain fart, especially since I make sure to get my kids in for their routine Pediatric visits.

The revelation came after I heard about a mom taking all of her kids in for their teeth cleaning and I caught myself wishing that my kids could do that. Duh! They can! And now some of them have.

Hazel and Amelia went in yesterday morning. Since I had all four in tow I was skeptical about how the morning would turn out. Especially since the girls starting protesting the visit the moment I told them about it Monday afternoon.Hazel did get excited for a minute when she thought she would get glasses like Amelia. But she was back to protesting after I explained the difference between a dentist and an eye doctor.

When the nurse called Hazel's name in the waiting room there was a moment of clear hesitation where she hid behind my leg. And then in a split second she was marching toward the nurse, her teddy bear, Pinkie, in tow. Before we all got back to the exam chairs Hazel had given the nurse her full name and the history of Pinkie the teddy bear. Then she walked right up to the chair and climbed on.

She was so brave and confident. And I think she rather liked the experience. Amelia was just as brave, but not as talkative. The only disappointment for them was that they didn't get new toothbrushes. Thankfully I had a princess one and a lady bug one stashed away here at home.

Abiah is already looking forward to his appointment at the end of the month. Thankfully I remembered to take him in before so he's a pro already. Hot Hubby on the other hand may be more difficult to convince than the girls were. Maybe it will be easier if I promise him a new pretty princess toothbrush afterward...

'Til My Sides Hurt: A Daddy Funny

2011-11-07T10:31:00.000-08:00

Hot Hubby is a fairly conservative guy. He doesn't like attention being drawn to him. Or the people he's with. So, it's perfect that he's married to me. The one who likes to blog the details of our life. And it's also perfect that he has four kids who draw attention wherever they go. Usually it's because of their inexplicable cuteness, but occasionally because of their naughtiness.

But sometimes when they draw attention from others it's Hot Hubby's fault. And it makes me laugh. And it makes me wonder if karma is real.

Case in point, a week ago Sunday. We were heading in to town to run errands before a family birthday gathering. Knowing that lunch time was soon approaching, Abiah asked, "What are we going to eat for lunch?"

The answer he got from Hot Hubby? "Poop! We're gonna eat poop! Just like we do everyday!"

The kids giggled at the "potty talk". Then they spent about 20 minutes trying to find a way to incorporate the word "poop" into their conversation so as to get away with the "potty talk".

"Jackson, look at this poop-poo-gaga!"

"We're going to eat a poop sandwich."

"No you're going to eat poop!"

"Mom, we're going to eat poop!"

After a few "mom looks" and firm reminders of the fate of those who use potty talk from the parent who has been on a mission to curb the potty talk in the house, the poop left the conversation. Though I ended up forgetting about the conversation, the kids didn't.

Surprised?

Me either.

A few hours later we were sitting in Wendy's eating lunch. Though the dining area wasn't full, the majority of the patrons were older couples and groups. And it was fairly quiet. So the people around us could hear EVERYTHING our kids said. Which really isn't so difficult since they tend to talk IN ALL CAPS anyways.

A few minutes into our meal Amelia stood up on the bench she was sitting on and asked, "AW WE EATING POOP?!?"

"Shhhhhh, no we aren't. Sit down, please." I answered.

"BUT...BUT...BUT DADDY SAID WE WAS GONNA EAT POOP!"

And Hot Hubby turned a few shades of red. And I wondered about karma.

Being Big

2011-11-04T10:51:00.000-07:00

Hazel is on a mission. A mission to be BIG. As in age. Not weight. She just turned four last month and in the months leading up to her birthday she spent a majority of the time following me around the house asking me if she could do something BIG.

Of course when I would actually give her a task she would whine the whole time and complain that it wasn't a BIG job. My kids have helped with chores or responsibilities since they could begin to put the toys back on the shelf. Gradually I have added more responsibilities for each child as fits their age and capabilities.

Outside of cleaning up after herself, Hazel currently helps with: vacuuming, unloading the dishwasher, folding towels, and taking the recycling out. But this is not enough for her. Which is great. I'm just lost trying to find more for her to do that I know she can actually do.

One struggle I have is incorporating my kids into my cooking. Partially because it's more work. Partially because I am horrible at delegating. But Honestly, it's mostly control. I like my kitchen to be a certain way and I like to prepare food to look and taste a certain way. But I also want my kids to have a love for and knowledge of cooking.

So we started. With cutting olives. It's the cutest thing. The olives are pretty much just smooshed in half. But her pudgy fingers trying to hold the butter knife make my heart sing. And it's pretty dang cute when she tries to sneak an olive.

This week we are going to attempt cookies. I don't know if much of the batter will make it to the oven. But I can guarantee she'll be giggling with excitement the whole time.

What are some BIG activities you do to include your children? Let us know in the comment section below!

"Til My Sides Hurt: The Threat

2011-11-03T09:56:00.000-07:00

This morning Hot Hubby pulled out a puzzle and started putting it together with the help of the kids. Which means he and Abiah put the puzzle together while Hazel worked hard at making what-ever piece she could find fit into what-ever place she could squeeze it and Amelia ran around in a pink tutu torturing Jackson with kisses and hugs as he rolled around on the floor trying to escape from her.

At one point the girls lost interest and started watching The Princess Diaries 2 which left the guys to themselves for a few minutes. After taking a break from the movie for breakfast Hazel momentarily lost interest in the movie and continued her attempt at puzzle making. Abiah, having taken the mindset that the puzzle was his and Hot Hubby's project, kept attempting to remind Hazel of her movie.

"Hazel, weren't you watching Princess Diaries?"

"Hazel, didn't you want to watch your movie?"

She kept replying with comments about finishing the puzzle and needing to put on a pretty dress first, but the reminders kept coming and eventually Hazel got fed up and said, "Abiah, if you don't stop saying that to me I'm not going to play in your room tomorrow!"

Laughing, Abiah replied, "That's actually what I want!"

Wordless Wednesday: Amelia's new purple glasses with "prinkles"

2011-10-12T07:06:00.000-07:00

When Failing is Passing

2011-10-10T06:55:00.000-07:00

Usually I get a little disappointed when the schedule I've worked at perfecting gets messed up. There's nothing like thinking you have total control only to be slammed in the face with the reality that you really aren't. But sometimes it's nice to be out of control.

Like when you have been told you need surgery to remove a cyst and possibly an ovary so you plan and prepare both heart and home only to then find out you don't need surgery.

Or when they say, "But we want to do a blood test to see if there is any other cause for malformation" and you ask for specifics and they cautiously use the "C" word so you, being equally cautious, tell your loved ones. But then you receive a phone call letting you know you've failed. You've failed the test which means you really passed.

And you breathe a sigh of relief. Thankful also that this time you also passed the test of fear because you didn't let your mind go there. There being the land of "What will my family do without me?"

This is one time that I am thankful to pull out the eraser and rub the plans away from the pages. This is the first week in a month that there are no doctor appointments for our family. So, I plan to stay home as much as possible and get into the fall routine I was looking forward to starting in September.

What are your plans for the week?

Finding the START

2011-10-04T07:28:00.000-07:00

I could make a laundry list of the things that are going wrong around here. It's one of those seasons of life where it feels like there is more wrong than there is right. Sometimes it seems that if I just get it all down on paper I can sort it out, prioritize, and conquer. Because I can do that right? I can fix it all? Kiss the boo-boo. Make it better?

If I could get it all on paper I'm sure I could figure out where to start. It's like a maze with a hidden entrance. Oh, and your status as Super Mom is on the line. So hurry up and find that entrance so you can race through the maze straightening and mending as you go. The storybook picture is messy and it's your job to make it presentable.

Last night Hot Hubby came home and I fell into his arms exclaiming, "I'm feel so derailed! Where do I even start? What do I do?"

Wrapping me securely in his muscular embrace (hubba, hubba) He whispered, "Just hold on to me."

There really is nothing like the partnership of marriage. Having a hot stud for a partner helps, too. Let me tell ya. Or not...

I'm pondering while he's fixing. Why do I always try to fix things on my own when it's so enjoyable to watch him work? Why do I always try to fix it all on my own when the thing I want most is to be partnered with him in everything? This is what I want. Life with him. All to often I try to take on our life's "crazy" all on my own. But the reality is that we signed up to do this thing together. Clogged washing machine drain pipes and all. It's the dream we had. All of life. Always together.

But sometimes I just feel so useless. What's my role in all of this? How do I help? While a stay-at-home-mom should make $115,432 annually, they don't. Not this one, anyways.

I go to the kitchen to start cleaning up from dinner. Behind the noise of running water and running children I hear the song change on the ipod. When I first heard this song months ago I declared a family rule: anytime this song comes on the music gets turned up and everyone has to dance. I hesitate because the dishes need to be done.

Thankfully I ignored the dishes. I come into the living room in time to see Hazel reaching to turn the music up. She knows the rule. And maybe she knows how much we need this. I turn the music up. Loud. And I start to dance.

Hot Hubby looks at me like I'm crazy. But I remind him that it's what he loves about me. The girls are instantly giggling. Even Jackson laughs. Soon we are all dancing. Smiles spread across faces that were just wearing the stress of the day.

I needed that moment. So did they. Because, as the saying goes, if momma aint happy...

So maybe that's my role. To encourage the happy. To find the joy in the everyday and to help them see it too.

"But I have trusted in Your mercy; my heart shall rejoice in Your salvation." Psalm 13:5

So that's where I'll start.

Interviews with Amelia: Heaven and The Zoo

2011-09-30T06:56:00.000-07:00

At some point every day Amelia and I will end up having a conversation that I wish I could have recorded. She is so expressive and hilarious that I just want everyone else to get in on the adorable-ness that is Amelia. She's pretty addicting.In the first video we had already been talking about heaven. She brought it up for some reason that I can't remember. The conversation then changed to our plans for the day.In our second conversation Amelia gives her opinion on the zoo. We are also privileged to have the opinion of Hazel, a few shots of Great Grandma, and Jackson serenading in the background.

Wordless Wednesday: A Lesson: Getting Daddy to Wrestle

2011-09-28T05:46:00.000-07:00

P.S. That is not a bruise on Abiah's forehead. It's his mushroom tattoo. Another attempt at getting Daddy to wrestle.

How else will she know?

2011-09-26T05:11:00.000-07:00

I stand at the counter making lunch. She's right here by my side. Every time I move to get something out of cupboard or fridge I practically stumble over her. Eyes wide, she watches my every move. Every twist on a lid. Every stroke of the spreading knife. Then the question comes. "Mom, can you teach me how to spread the jelly with the butter knife?"

These days it's pretty much a guarantee. If I'm working in the kitchen she's there at my elbow. Watching closely. Asking questions. Requesting a taste of every ingredient. Eager to help. Hungry to learn.

It's not just in the kitchen either. Folding laundry. Changing diapers. Doing my make-up. Writing grocery lists. Whatever I'm doing she's close behind watching and learning.

But I'm not the only one she follows around. There's this boy who wears a purple shirt. He's a relative. That means nothing to her almost-four-year-old self. What she knows is that she likes him. I don't know if she has a real reason for her little girl crush. When I ask she says,'He's a boy!" But there are many other boys that she doesn't give two seconds of attention to.

Purple Shirt Boy gets a lot of her attention. When he's around she follows him quietly playing in his shadow. Trying to be a apart of whatever he may be doing at the time. When he's not around she talks about him. Dreams about him. Plans her wardrobe around him.

"Mom, he and I have purple shirts. I have a purple shirt and he has a purple shirt. We both have purple shirts, Mom. We match."

"Mom, he and I both pick our boogers. I pick my boogers and he picks his boogers. We both do, Mom."

"Mom, I got stung by a bee and he got stung by a bee. He did and I did, Mom. We're the same."

"Mom, when I see him I'm going to wear my purple shirt so that we can match."

"Mom, I want to wear a dress. He likes it when I wear a dress so I want to wear a dress because I look pretty when I wear a dress."

She's four. I know it's an innocent little crush. But it still scares me. Because the apple?... And the tree?... and the falling?...I remember when my cousin came to live with us. We were both five. And he was CUTE! I chased him around the yard and tried to kiss him. I know that particular crush didn't last long. But there were others. Many others.

And the things she says at almost four, I was still saying in my twenties.

"If I do my hair this way..."

"If I wear these clothes..."

And with Hot Hubby all of that was blown out of the water. I didn't need to be anything other than me. That's how I knew he was the one.

But how do I teach her that now? At four? That she doesn't need to be whatever-she-thinks whoever-he-is would like her to be? All she has to be is her amazing little self.

I worry I don't have the words. I think long. Pray hard. And then I remember.

"Mom, will you teach me how to spread the jelly with the butter knife?"

My job? It's to show her.

Walking Together

2011-09-22T11:09:00.000-07:00

"It seems that it is by the means of seemingly perfunctory daily rituals and routines that we enhance the personal relationships that nourish and sustain us." ~ Kathleen Norris

I believe the statement above to be true. So I am sharing some of our "daily living" with you all and inviting you to walk along side us.

My calendar for the past month looks like a crazy mess. Pencil scrawling in every square allotted to the specific dates. Bar-b-ques. Birthday parties. Doctor appointments. Car repair appointments. Tea and coffee with friends. Support group meetings. Emergencies. Babies. Family. Friends. Life.

As I turn the page to the glorious fall month that is quickly approaching us I see the pencil lead has already found it's way over there. Filling up white space. Leaving plans of family, friends, and life in it's wake.

My heart. It feels weak. My body too. I feel unqualified. To inexperienced to manage this family of six. School started two weeks ago. We've successfully accomplished maybe a weeks worth. The laundry is piling up. I don't have time for the meals I planned and shopped for. With a calendar filling up with life's necessities how do I make it all work?

"Trust Me and refuse to worry, for I am your Strength and Song." I read from Jesus Calling this morning. "You are feeling wobbly this morning, looking at difficult times looming ahead, measuring them against your own strength. However, they are not today's tasks-or even tomorrow's. So leave them in the future and come home to the present, where you will find Me waiting for you. Since I am your Strength, I can empower you to handle each task as it comes. Because I am your Song, I can give you joy as you work alongside Me."

I take those words tucking them into the deep pockets of my heart. Within a few hours my hands are reaching down deep pulling them back out. My eyes are reading. My heart is eating. My whole body is relaxing. Just today. That's what I need to do.

Amelia goes in to the eye doctor next Friday. Her right eye has started to pull to the left. I'm grateful we are catching it early. My mind imagines doctor appointment after doctor appointment. Not today's task. Leave it to the future.

The day before her appointment our car goes back to the mechanic for more work. It's the brakes this time. Last week it was the water pump. Not today's task. Leave it to the future.

Friday morning before Amelia's appointment i go in for an ultra sound. They found a cyst on my right ovary when I went to the ER last week with pain in my lower right abdomen. There are plans for surgery to remove the cyst. Possibly the ovary too. Not today's task. Leave it to the future.

The devotion continues, "Keep bringing your mind back to the present moment. Among all My creatures, only humans can anticipate future events. This ability is a blessing, but it becomes a curse whenever it is misused. If you use your magnificent mind to worry about tomorrow, you cloak yourself in dark unbelief. However, when the hope of heaven fills your thoughts, the Light of My Presence envelopes you. Though heaven is future, it is also present tense. As you walk in the Light with Me, you have one foot on earth and one foot in heaven."

Jesus, thank you for the gift of anticipation. May I reciprocate grace for grace and use that blessing in the way it was intended. Being here. Today.

'Til My Sides Hurt: Same Same

2011-09-19T22:34:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid my sisters and I had this saying. Whenever we realized were had something similar as each other, whatever it may be, we would say, "Same same!" Example?

Sister #1: "I have a cookie!"

Sister #2: "Me too!"

Sisters #1&2: "Same same!"

Silly? Sure. Weird? Of course. But it was our thing. Actually I think we still do it sometimes.

Anyways, my girls are at a stage where they are recognizing similarities between themselves and the people in their lives. Of course, this also means that they realize there are some differences too. Which has taken a lot of careful explaining on my part. Or not.

The other day Hazel kindly pointed out that I have a big rump. Being as graceful as one can be in such a situation I barked back, "Yes. I do. And when you and Amelia get older you will have big butts too!" And then I went and transferred money to their therapy funds. But we'll be same same!

Then today I took Amelia to the Dr. for some vision issues. As the nurse was checking her eyes, Amelia said, "I have boo eyes like Maga!"

The nurse replied, "Yes, you do! And you have pretty blonde hair too!"

Then, while stroking my bosom, Amelia said, "And I gonna have big boobies like my mamma when I get ohder!"

Same same!

"Til My Sides Hurt: Freakin' Spiders

2011-09-17T07:52:00.000-07:00

This morning as I was loading some towels into the washing machine a huge spider landed on my bosom. It took me a second to realize what it was (eyes are getting old?) but when I did I screamed and did the crazy dance as I frantically brushed it to the floor.

After another second of hesitation I realized that I would have to kill it myself. Nathan is gone hunting and Abiah was still in bed. I figured it probably wouldn't be nice of me to ask my young little girls to take care of it. I quickly smashed it with the dirty wash rag in my hand and threw it in the garbage.

Hazel came over asking what was going on. When I told her she said, "Well, I'm not freakin' about it."

Apparently my almost four year old is more mature than me.

In MemoRANDOM

2011-08-30T16:45:00.000-07:00

1. There are three reasons I don't usually keep Ritz crackers in the house. Buttery, Salty & Flaky. I'm powerless against their devious deliciousness. And coupled with avocado they are just deadly.

2. Why do I always manage to load the dryer and then forget to turn it on?

3. Hot Hubby left Sunday for his annual hunting trip. I'm praying that he gets a huge elk with a tiny rack. Selfish? Completly! And unashamedly.

4. The kids and I just took a whirl-wind trip to the Oregon Coast with my mom. We were gone for about 30 hours. It felt like a few days. In a good way. Except that I kept thinking Hot Hubby would be home soon. And he won't...

5. Tonight Abiah and I are going on a date with my parents. I'm hoping my lunch encounter with the Ritz crackers was a great preparation for the Ethiopian Feast-ival we will have tonight. I'm delusional like that.

6. Ten points to the first person who can tell me in which cartoon movie a cat accidentally says feastival instead of festival when talking to a group of mice!

7. There's not a whole lot that I like better than a nice pedicure at a fancy schmancy salon. A free pedicure is even better! But stubbing your toe the day after you receive said free pedicure and chipping the beautiful taupe-y polish really puts a damper on things.

8. Jackson started rolling over from his back to his tummy at three months. But only when he would get mad.

9. It's possible that I would flip him back to his back just to watch him roll over again.

10. When he's older he won't get away with having a nasty attitude like that. I figure I'll let him take advantage of it while he can...

Curriculum Round-up 2011: Preschool and 3rd Grade Curriculum

2011-08-19T08:30:00.000-07:00

I wish I could be as excited all year long about school as I am in the month before it starts. I love the planning and choosing curriculum. I also enjoy the teaching part, but find the mothering while teaching to be difficult. I'm sure you who homeschool can relate.

This year one of my main goals is to encourage our lifestyle to become a homeschooling environment. I'm really good at boxing our schooling into a 8-12 package with a pretty pink bow on top. The problem I found this last year is that homeschooling an elementary age student while mothering three under four messes with my pretty packing skills.

Last year I tried to do school with Abiah for an hour and a half and then let him finish the other parts that he didn't "need" me for on his own. Ideally it should have taken him about another hour and a half to two hours to complete his daily tasks. The girls seemed to be good at occupying themselves for that time but Abiah felt rushed and pushed out of the way. And it showed in his work.

I also just finished reading Five Love Languages of Children (not an affiliated link) and found out that Abiah is loved best through acts of service.Which means I've been doing things wrong. For awhile. Hopefully he'll be gracious when he's older and forgive me.

So, here's the book learnin' curriculum we'll be using this year:

2011-12 Curriculum for Preschool

My girls are still young for much schooling but they are interested in school so I try to work with them for about an hour a day. At this level they don't need much scheduled schooling. And they don't have the patience for it anyways! They also tend to enjoy their play time more when I keep them busy with a little schooling and a few "chores".

About Three Set

These lessons in these books are simple practice for motor skills and gradually introduce numbers, shapes, and colors. The activities are simple and, I've found, provide great opportunity for learning to follow simple instructions. I used these a little last year with my girls, photocopying pages as needed.

Circle Time

I use Circle Time as our Bible time together. We read from the kids' Bible, sing a few songs, recite our memory verse and pray together. The kids LOVE Circle Time. I also try to take a few minutes and have the kids practice being silent. Behind the "school work" aspects of what we do, the girls are learning to follow instructions and to sit still.

2011-12 Curriculum for 3rd Grade

Math-Horizons Math
I really like Horizons Math for the repetition and colorful pages. I use their books from k-3rd grade. After 3rd grade we will switch to Saxon Math.

Grammar- Daily Grams, Easy Grammar & Primary Language Lessons

Spelling- Spell to Write and Read
Hazel and Amelia will join Abiah during a portion of this class as an introduction to the phonograms.

Handwriting- StartWrite5.0
This program has been priceless in our schooling. We use it so much. I love that I can print out my own worksheets for all of my kids. We use these in conjunction with our Scripture memorization.

History, Reading, Science and Bible- My Father's World
We will be finishing the second half of the 2nd/3rd grade Adventures curriculum. Because our last school year involved pregnancy and a baby I decided to draw this portion of our schooling out into two years. We LOVE MFW curriculum and HIGHLY recommend it. The prepared lesson plans are simple and yet very informative. I look forward to learning alongside Abiah. I am going to try to include Hazel and Amelia in some of this but am not sure what that will look like right now.

Reading Comprehension- McCall-Crabbs Standard Test Lessons in Reading
I plan to use these about once a week to supplement with reading comprehension. Abiah really enjoys reading but I want him to learn to pay attention to what he's reading.

Well, that about sums it up. I would love to hear about any supplemental schooling tools you guys use or have heard of. Leave a comment below!

I'm linking up with the Curriculum Round-up over at fiddledeedee.net!

~All links to Exodus Books are now affiliated links. I have used Exodus for many years (as a homeschooling mom and for previous tutoring) and have recommended them even before becoming an affiliate. Though I may receive some compensation, my opinions are always my own.~

Sweet Words: With Piggy Tails

2011-08-18T08:41:00.000-07:00

The other day, while snacking on the front porch, Amelia asked me, "Mom. Why God make us?" She was so serious and straight faced. The question seemed so big for her two-year-old self.

Through my smile I answered with a question of my own, choosing this moment as one of affirmation rather than one of teaching. "Why did God make us, Mills? Is it because He delights in us and wants us to glorify Him?"

Her answer held more untaught wisdom than my 31 years of learning would have known to reply.

"Yes. He make us pretty good. Wis piggy cails and jumping!" And as a dear friend said, "THIS is why He calls us to be like little children!"

Works For Me Wednesday: Of Krooked Kastles and Chubby Feet

2011-08-17T10:34:00.000-07:00

We live in an old-ish house. I've always loved old houses. They have so much character. Our house has so much character it earned a nickname: The Krooked Kastle. Most people don't really notice how crooked it really is.

The most obvious place downstairs is the kitchen. But it's mostly obvious when something gets spilled. Or when a toddler tries to walk across the floor. They tend to walk into the wall. It's rather humorous.

Upstairs is a different story. The doors don't close properly. And all furniture with wheels tends to gravitate towards one end of the house. Which came in real handy for Hazel when she was still in a crib. She quickly learned how to through her body weight against her crib and skootch it across the floor to her sister's crib on the opposite wall. After a few mornings of finding them crib-to-crib I decided something needed to be done.

After assessing the situation I looked around the house to see what I could use to keep their beds in place. What I settled on was a discarded pair of ruby red shoes that my girls never got to wear because their feet were too chubby. I loved those shoes and always wanted to use them. I took this as my opportunity.

I've had people asked me, "Is her bed wearing shoes?!?" To which I relpy, "Why, yes it is! And they're on the right feet, too!"

The other benefit is that the bed is more level.

There's no place like a Krooked Kastle! And it works for me!

I'm linking up to We Are That Family and other WFMW posts.

'Til My Sides Hurt: The Public Notice

2011-08-16T07:22:00.000-07:00

About a year ago this appeared on Abiah's door:

(Ples Go!)

Closely followed by this one:

(Go away!)

This last weekend it was obvious something had changed. Maybe it's the fact that his sisters can now open his door. Maybe it's because they have been given permission to play in there more and more. Or maybe it's because he was an only child for the first four-and-a-half years of his life:

One thing I know for sure: we still need to work on spelling...

But since this sign was intended for his three and two year old sisters, who can't read yet, I think we have time...

You know you're a mom when...

2011-08-15T13:08:00.000-07:00

...it takes three days of planning just to take a shower. Then your three year old won't sleep during nap time (aka scheduled shower time) causing you to "reschedule" your shower for a more convenient time.

...you spend your birthday money on clothes for your kids.

...quality alone time is a trip to the bathroom where no one knocks on the door wondering what you are doing and if they can please join you.

...a "quick trip to the store" takes a half hour longer than it should because shoes have to be replaced on feet before getting out of the car and the two potty breaks that are needed during the 15 minutes of being in the store.

...grocery shopping is an acceptable outing for date night.

Humor is what gets me through most of my week. Need to laugh today? Add your "You know your a mom when..." in the comment section below.

You know you married a hunter when...

2011-08-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

Your two and three year old daughters, dressed in princess attire, are planning a hunting trip "to kill the deers and elks. Because they're gonna attack you and eat you! So you have to shoot them."

Wordless Wednesday: Cowboy Jackson

2011-08-10T13:25:00.000-07:00

Because I Like to Share...

2011-07-28T12:42:00.000-07:00

Today's reading from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young:

"Let My Love seep into the inner recesses of your being. Do not close off any part of yourself from Me. I know you inside and out, so do not try to present a "cleaned-up" self to Me. Wounds that you shut away from the Light of My Love will fester and become wormy. Secret sins that you "hide" from Me can split off and develop lives of their own, controlling you without your realizing it.

Open yourself full to My transforming Presence. Let My brilliant Love-Light search out and destroy hidden fears. This process requires time alone with Me, as My Love soaks into your innermost being. Enjoy My perfect Love, which expels every trace of fear."

Psalm 139: 23-24
Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Fish Stories

2011-07-21T09:00:00.000-07:00

Hot Hubby, Abiah and my FIL went out sturgeon fishing this last Saturday. Although Abiah has tagged along many times before, this was the first time he got to fish, too.

Much to the dismay of his competitive father and grandfather, Abiah caught the most fish!

(Abiah's first fish!)

Hot Hubby was sure that once Abiah caught his first fish he would be "hooked." He was right. Abiah came home so excited and eager to tell his fish tale.

Hot Hubby had a fish tale of his own.

For forty-five minutes Hot hubby wrestled this 7 foot beast:

Although they didn't catch any keepers, the battle against the 7 foot beast and the excitement of Abiah's first fish made the trip a great memory.

Wordless Wednesday: The kids aren't the only ones making mud pies

2011-07-20T09:51:00.000-07:00

Do as I say. Not as I done did.

2011-07-19T10:56:00.000-07:00

In my last recipe post I made the obvious statement that I wouldn't post a flopped recipe on here. My thought was that such a posting wouldn't be helpful anyways. Why would someone read a recipe for something that won't turn out?

Well, I've always believed that it's easier to learn from others mistakes so I thought I'd give you such an opportunity.

I'm real giving in that way. You're welcome.

So, without further rambling, I give you today's "don't try this at home" recipe:

Egg Free Crepes

To begin, I want to state that I'm not so much of an idiot that I didn't realize that the base of a crepe is egg. However, being as I'm allergic to eggs I wanted to see if I could make something that I've missed in my current egg-less state.

Do NOT take:

4 tablespoons of ground flax, mixing it with 12 tablespoons of water to substitute for 4 eggs and mix with:

dash of salt
4 tablespoons of sugar
1 cup of flour
1 cup of milk
1/3 cup of melted butter

Mixing in order and then baking in a round skillet 1/4 cup at a time.

If you do you will inevitably:

feel awful about wasting 1/3 a cup of butter that is sinfully expensive right now.
have to throw out a bowl full of messy goop.
have three children who are still hungry and are letting you know but coming into the kitchen every minute to check on the status of breakfast.
settle on cold cereal.
be sad that you can't have crepes.

You may, however, make the recipe above by starting with 4 eggs well beaten and make the crepes for all the egg eaters of your house. They are easy and delicious. And I still want one.

P.S. I have had great success in using flax meal mixed with water as an egg substitute in baked goods. Crepes do not count as baked goods. Amen.

My Greatest Fear

2011-07-18T09:17:00.000-07:00

...continued...

Fourteen years back, before the term "in-law" was used to define our relationship, we were driving down the familiar road in the little blue "Smurf." As we followed the curves that we'd traveled so many times before I asked him the question, "What is your greatest fear?"

Being a young man of wisdom, he gently answered, "Well, I don't think God wants us to focus on our fears."

Being a young woman who likes to be contrary, I agreed and then argued my point, "While I do believe that focusing on our fears isn't how God wants us to live, I do think it is actually healthy to know what our fears are. How are we supposed to work through our fears if we don't know what they are?"

After understanding where I was coming from he shared his greatest fear. Which I'm not going to tell you about. I will, however, tell you that he has conquered that fear and continues to do so everyday. I am so proud to call him my brother-in-law.

And I will also tell you what I told him my greatest fear was. "I'm afraid I'll never be a wife and a mom, " my single heart confessed. I was afraid of ending up alone.

During the next eight years I watched as he became my brother-in-law and he and my sister had four beautiful children. I watched other friends and relatives get married and start their families.

Finally in 2005 it was my turn. When Hot Hubby and I got married I was relieved. And, although there were times when we were starting a family that I wondered if I would be a mother, that fear was put to rest as well.

So, naturally I expected that I would no longer wonder, "Will I ever be a wife? Will I ever be a mom?" But I've found that I still do. Those questions still haunt me. That familiar fear will keep me awake at night. But it's different. And, in my opinion, it seems healthy. And maybe normal?

You know, I may have gotten married which has given me the title of "wife." And I may have children which gives me the title of "mom." But I wonder, am I really living as a wife and mom or am I just fulfilling my "duties"?

There are days, weeks and even years that I have spent more concerned with the appearance of my dreams than the day to day fulfillment of my dreams. I've spent countless hours striving to have an organized house and perfectly budgeted menu. I've worked hard at being consistent in training my children and being a supportive wife. But I find myself at place where I wonder whether or not I am truly being a wife and mom as opposed to just filling a role.

Instead of waking up and making a list of the tasks I need to accomplish during the day, I want to wake up and think of ways to enjoy and bless my family. Am I ministering to their hearts or am I just meeting their daily needs? Feed, clothe, clean, repeat?

You know, this is what I've always wanted. This is what I love to do. So why do I so often feel like throwing the towel in?

I think, I think I may have a glimpse of the answer. I think...

To be continued...

On Becoming Bare

2011-07-14T09:44:00.000-07:00

...continued...

"It is one of the perversities of my interior makeup that I so often become depressed just as
winter makes its turn into spring, and the longed-for moment arrives; the weather turns
pleasant, and one can walk out of doors without bundling up. But unbundling means exposure, a kind of vulnerability, and I seldom feel ready for it when that first balmy day arrives. Instead, I resist the good news of spring, lurking inside my house as if its still winter. My spirit suffers , my garden languishes, and my perennial flowers and herbs must struggle on their own with encroaching weeds."

Kathleen Norris in The Quotidian Mysteries

"Look at this." I point to the screen.

"What is it?" he asks as he sits down beside me on the worn couch.

"It was built this year. No one has ever lived in it. And look at the pretty kitchen!"

"It's small."

"But it's new." I plead.

"Wow. It is nice. Not a very big lot."

"I know. I just feel stuck. I know that anything we look at is going to mean a smaller lot...and most likely a smaller house. But I just want something new. Something without all the work. I just feel stuck."

The discontentment stuck with me throughout the night. When I woke the next morning it was still there. Hanging from my shoulders weighing my heart down.

I kept finding myself at the computer. Searching the screen for the perfect house. A new dwelling where everything would be easy. Shiny and new. More bedrooms. More bathrooms. A place where stairs don't creak and doors close properly. Something that won't fit the title of "Krooked Kastle".

But it's not about the house. It's not really. Is it ever?

The next day I apologize to him, "I don't mean to put that kind of pressure on you. It's not about the house. I know I'm just frustrated with myself."

I blame my other physical dwelling for my irritation. This body I've been graced with.

But that's not it either.

People say, "It's not about the destination. It's about the journey." But the journey can be so hard. The act of unbundling one's heart from the layers meant to keep it safe and protected. Becoming vulnerable. Getting messy. Allowing...imperfection.

To be continued...

Wordless Wednesday: Hazel's Portrait of Jesus

2011-07-13T08:18:00.000-07:00

One in Diapers

2011-07-12T06:46:00.000-07:00

I realize this kind of information doesn't appeal to all my readers but there is a funny at the end. Happy reading!

It is finished! Kinda.

We kind of had a potty training miracle at our house in the last month. Amelia was really ready to start potty training this last winter. But being 20 month pregnant I didn't have it in me to spend my days sitting on the edge of the tub waiting for her to decide to pee.

About a month ago I finally decided to bite the bullet and put her in her training panties with plastic pants. Of course there were many accidents at first but surprisingly she caught on really fast. There hasn't been a huge struggle or anything. How refreshing.

Wait. Can potty training be refreshing? Weird.

When summer has decided to peek out a few times in the last few weeks I noticed that her panties were always damp feeling but never truly wet. I decided we could ditch the plastic pants since they were suffocating her buns and we've not looked back since.

She has had a few accidents. Mostly when we are busy playing outside.

The blessing was that she was waking up dry at nap time and night time also! Hazel has been potty trained for awhile except at night so I was expecting it would be the same with Amelia.

Anyways, we decided that both girls were ready to potty train at night and so we left them in their undies and for the last three night Amelia has been dry! Hazel had accidents the first two nights but woke up each time. This morning, however, she woke up dry!

I'm so proud of my girls! And equally excited that we only have to buy diapers for Jackson now. Of course the only bummer is that I just bought a new package of diapers for the girls and only used about four of them.

So, this morning as Amelia and I sat enjoying the quiet, we had this conversation.

Amelia was sticking her hand down the back of her underwear. I told her to get her hand out because there are germs down there. She tried looking for them but I told her, "You can't see them!"

She said, "I see dis."

"What?"

"My cack!"

Have a blessed day, friends!

A Rare Moment Indeed

2011-07-11T12:31:00.000-07:00

The Krooked Kastle drama club usually involves a lot of, well...drama! So when we are privy to a moment such as this it is cause for celebration, feasting and a little happy wine!

Which is totally different from the usual feasting and frustration wine. But we aren't here to talk about me. Today.

This is a video I "caught" back in January and some how managed to forget to post. When I found it today there were tears of joy. It's good to be reminded of the sweet times my girls have together.

And aside from the gigantic booger on Amelia's face and the fact that the video abruptly ends as she's about to take a peek at her sisters "bunsy butt," I'd say this is moment is a favorite so far.

In case you can't understand what Amelia is saying she is singing, "Hazo, Hazo. Hazo, Hazo." Which is her then almost two year old version of this song.

Another "ish" Recipe: Butternut Squash Alfredo Sauce

2011-07-07T08:54:00.000-07:00

I mentioned before that I tend to cook using the "ish" method. Though most of my attempts turn out well, I have my fair share of failures.

Thankfully this isn't one of those. Of course, if it was a flop I wouldn't be sharing it here anyways.

Forgive me for stating the obvious. Your patience is much appreciated.

So. The recipe. You'll need:

1 butternut squash, baked or steamed
heavy whipping cream or half-n-half or milk (depends on your fat content preference)
Parmesan cheese, the powder works just fine
salt and pepper

So, after you've baked or steamed your butternut squash, puree it until smooth. I added about a quarter cup of water to help the pureeing process.

Pour the butternut squash into a pan and begin to heat it up.

Add about a cup of Parmesan, stirring it well so as to break up any clumps. As the sauce heats up the Parmesan melts and the sauce gets smoother.

Slowly add your choice of heavy whipping cream, half-n-half or milk until it reaches the consistency that you prefer.

Salt and pepper to taste. Serve over your favorite pasta (mushroom stuffed ravioli is exceptionally delicious with this sauce!).

Give it a try sometime this week and let me know what you think!

Wordless Wednesday: 2010 vs. 2011

2011-07-06T16:28:00.000-07:00

Tears on the Fourth

2011-07-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday our fourth of July celebrations began at a local parade.

We had spent the morning rushing to arrive before the streets were closed so I didn't have a moment to take the day in until right as the parade was starting.

As the first few vehicles inched by and the patriotic music reached our ears my eyes welled up with tears and I had to still my quivering lip.

I was overwhelmed with thankfulness.

Thankfulness for the ones who have given their lives for my freedom.

Thankful for rest.

Thankful for work.

Thankful for the freedom of speech.

Thankful for play.

Thankful for good food.

Thankful for times of refreshing.

Thankful for him.

And them.

Thankful for unconditional, loyal, always and forever love.

Thankful that He who began a good work in me is faithful to finish the task He undertook.

What are you thankful for today?

'Til My Sides Hurt: Hazel Edition

2011-06-30T12:07:00.000-07:00

A few days after attending a friend's graduation party where Hazel stuck to the older girls like glue she had this conversation with me:

Hazel: Mom, remember Sassy Sarah? She's the one who wanted to swing. There was another Sarah. She's the one who was hanging upside down.

Me: Why do you call her Sassy Sarah?

Hazel: Because she wanted to swing. There are lots of Sarah! One and two and five!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few weeks before Jackson was born Marlys, who is a dear friend on mine, stopped by to give me a beautiful handmade quilt for Jackson. Well, in her 30 minute visit Marlys made a huge impression on Hazel. She hasn't stopped mentioning her to us. She even named one of her dollies Marlys.

Well, this last week while Hot Hubby was out at the grill making dinner the girls were running around the yard playing house (and I was thanking God for the break!). Hot Hubby told me that he kept hearing Hazel call for Carlys and realized she was calling for Amelia who was running away. After a few minutes of this chase going on in the yard Amelia stopped by Nathan and said, "Dad, I Meya Roof."

"Yes, you are." he reassured her as she ran off to hide from her sister.

During dinner I heard the story and got to witness Amelia being chased and tormented by her older sister calling her Carlys. I explained that the name was probably influenced by Hazel's admiration of Marlys but it didn't seem to matter to Amelia. She kept telling her sister, "I Meya Roof!"

At one point when I corrected Amelia, Hazel jumped to her defense saying, "Hey! Don't be mean to Carlys!"

After awhile I asked, "Hazel, how do you spell Carlys?"

"Ummm, T-H-double!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I was getting ready to go to out for a Ladies night Hazel informed me she was going to. When I told her she was too young she said, "But Mom! I'm the prettiest girl!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hazel quote: "I'm afraid in the dark. Yeah, cuz, cuz it's not much better in the dark. It's much better when it's light and pretty."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hazel, when explaining her daily activities to me:

I dust wake up... and get dressed... and come down stairs... and brush my hair... and have brefest...and get stuffs ready for tomorrow...and, and then I go to the park. And I drive. I know how to drive now, Mom, because I can reach the counter. Mom, when I was little and 25 I didn't reach the counter so I didn't know how to drive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hazel: Mom, can I have a pencil?

Me: No. You aren't supposed to color in books.

Hazel: But! I need to write more words so, so, so God will be happier about it.

The Prison Inmate

2011-06-29T12:57:00.001-07:00

A life of crime is rough!

Charged with: Stealing his momma's heart.

Verdict: Guilty as charged!

Sentence: Life as a momma's boy with no chance of parole. You can't even go to college...unless you take me with you.

Ok, Momma! I'm fine with that!

Flat on My Back

2011-06-08T10:07:00.000-07:00

...continued...

I escape to the front porch hoping for a moment of silence and attempt to make an important phone call. The phone call I had asked him to make.

I was hiding from the noise. The noise of 4 kids. Dishes. A budget to be made and the spoiled dinner sitting on the dirty stove. A creative attempt gone to waste.

As I waited for someone to answer from the other end, I find myself pulling away from the phone now blaring orchestra music in my ear.

I'm on hold. Again.

More noise. More waiting. A day of waiting. A life of waiting. A life of noise. My chest feels a little heavier.

It was then that I spot the bug. On the rail in front of me he lays flat on his back, legs squirming and struggling. Struggling to stand.

That's how I feel, Lord. Flat on my back, legs flailing. Struggling. Today was a bad day to try not to stress eat.

I sense someone behind me. Turning, I find Hot Hubby standing there watching me through the window. Sympathy in his eyes.

I quickly turn back afraid he'll see what's truly in my mind. In my heart.

Finishing the phone call, I enter the house and he's still standing there tenderly rocking the babe so fresh from my womb.

"You'd die without me you know!" I snap as I walk past him.

"I know! I tell you that all the time." He laughs. "That's why you can never die! You are amazing!"

There it is. That word. Amazing. That word and I have a love/hate relationship. Love, because that's what I strive to be. Hate, because it's what I never feel. And he uses it so much when describing me.

"He needs a new adjective," I grumble inwardly.

He whose river runs deep. He who uses words only when he needs to.

It's not him. It's me. The one who uses words and then has to find a way to take them back. Like trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube.

He looks at me with compassionate eyes. As tenderly as he is lulling the baby to sleep, he begins massaging my heart. Drawing me out.

I am making dinner for the second time in one night. Every few minutes I come back into the living room to look into his eyes, that place a solace all my own. I have words that need to come out. I focus on chewing them carefully so they are easy to digest.

"I just...I feel..."

He waits.

"Today wasn't a good day to try not to stress eat."

Confession over... but there is more to be said. I go tend and come back again.

"I would like for it to be an easy fix. I wish it was as easy as giving a few things up and then everything would be fixed..."

The conversation pauses to acknowledge the Lego creation of the children coming to share. I see their sweet faces and my heart breaks a little more. And my mind is flooded with one more thought that brings guilt and pressure.

"I am coming to realize how I find my identity in what I feed you guys. When I make meals packed with veggies and healthy ingredients I feel a sense of accomplishment. Of doing it right. And yet all I want to do right now is grab some cash and go to the market for some crap food. And what kind of example am I being to our kids?!"

I leave to stop the bickering children and fail to find the words I'm so desperate for. I want them to understand the real issue. The real issue is the heart. It's not the fighting. It's the selfish heart that causes the fighting.

I return.

"How can I help them understand it's their hearts that need to change if I don't even know how to change my own? It's my heart... I know it is... I am like any other addict."

And it's true. When my heart is hurting, depressed, stressed my 'fix' comes in a circular form with the raised letters O-R-E-O across the front. Or sometimes in the form of a potato deeply fried. Or anything else that I feel will satisfy that deep place inside.

He nods his head letting me know he hears and offers another tender look. I feel my shoulders begin to relax as the communion between us acts as a healing salve to my wounds.

There is a freedom here. A freedom to be imperfect. A freedom to be human. There is an understanding. And there is love.

Like a cheap paper towel attempting to sop up spilled milk, my heart begins to understand his definition of amazing. He knows my weaknesses. He knows my failures. He sees when the laundry doesn't get done and the dishes are left crusty on the counter. He sees the days gone by without showers and the children who have need of more training.

But he also sees my heart. My attempts to keep up with the laundry and dishes. My desire to be healthy for and with my family. My days filled with children and school and a nursing baby. And he still thinks I'm amazing.

The conversation, though never completely over, finds a resting point and the night goes on. My heart, though not completely peaceful, has found some relief. My mind, as if tormented by a thousand grains of rice all eager to be sorted and handled one by one, takes one more step towards the freedom it so desperately desires.

And that word is still floating in and out of the waves of thought. Amazing.

Amazing. Amazing what? Amazing wife? Amazing mom? Amazing cook? Amazing me?

As I wash the day's grime from my face, I catch my reflection in the mirror and my heart whispers, "Lord, I need your grace...Your AMAZING grace!"

And I picture myself, flat on my back, resting in his amazing grace. And the day's grime rinses away from my heart.

To be continued...

'Til My Sides Hurt: Jackson Makes a Funny...Boy Style

2011-06-06T08:56:00.000-07:00

After getting the three older kids to bed, Hot Hubby and I were enjoying a few minutes of quiet with Jackson. As Jackson sat cradled in the crook of Hot Hubby's arm he suddenly let out a huge toot. Just as Hot Hubby turned to look at him, Jackson closed his eye as if faking sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After giving Jackson his bath and putting some lotion on him, I told him how good he smelled. He looked at my face, smirked and then pooped!

I Had the Perfect Day!

2011-06-03T08:29:00.000-07:00

I woke early. Since all the kids were still asleep I slipped downstairs for some quiet time and coffee followed by a quick 20 minute exercise video. Abiah woke up shortly after my video finished and I asked him to sit quietly in the living room and read while I took a shower, knowing that if the girls were to wake they could join him and be supervised.

Sure enough a few minutes later when I got out of the shower I heard their little voices coming from the other room. Getting dressed I went out and brought them each a cup of milk and put a video on for them to enjoy while I finished getting myself ready for the day and prepared breakfast.

With breakfast out of the way I took the girls back upstairs to get them dressed and instructed Abiah to do the same himself. After they were all dressed I woke Jackson for his morning feeding and had the kids start their chores, or as we call them responsibilities.

When Jackson was finished eating and was changed and dressed I helped the girls finish their tasks as Abiah got started on his school work. He only has a few things to do as the school year is almost over.

The day went by smoothly by comparison to the days preceding it.

Play time. Lunch. Clean up. Nap. Snack time with another video. More play time. Time with Daddy while Mommy does a few tasks and starts dinner.

Dinner was delicious. The kids ate fairly well and then Abiah and I cleaned the kitchen while Nathan held Jackson and helped the girls clean up their toys.

After a book, brushing teeth and putting on pajamas I sang to the kids and we had kisses and hugs. As I turned out the light, shut the door and passed a few more wishes for a good night along to my kids I thought, "Yes. This was a good day. Perfect in fact."

A perfect day...in my dreams!

To be continued...

Wordless Wednesday: The Nursing Covers

2011-06-01T08:47:00.000-07:00

'Til My Sides Hurt: Amelia Edition

2011-05-31T12:38:00.000-07:00

I asked Amelia to bring my nursing cover to me. She looked at Jackson and said, "He not cying, Mom. He good gurl!"

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While playing with her toy phone she passionately told me, "Hazo never ever my phone!"

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After yelling at Hazel for bossing her around, Amelia starting singing, "I not da boss of me!"

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While cleaning up the toys, Amelia ran into the kitchen with a wash cloth on her head chanting, "I 'lil pincess! I 'lil pincess!"

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Amelia: "Maga say, 'sthoot!'"

Me: "Maga said shoot?"

A: "Yup. Dat dander!"

M: "That's danger?"

A: "Yup. He say dat gin I gonna fight Maga."

Sweet Words: A Gentle Rebuke

2011-05-30T08:49:00.000-07:00

My! The emotions are flying around the Crooked Castle these days! Between the Drama Club members and their postpartum momma we've gone through LOTS of tissue around here. We should by stock in tissue at the rate we use it.

Drama Club member since October 2007

Drama Club member since January 2009

Though we now have an equal number of boys and girls in our house, somehow the boys still seem out numbered.

You have my permission to feel sorry for them.

I've been at a loss knowing how to deal with the Drama Club. My recent spike in hormones isn't helping either!

From morning until night (and sometimes through the night) I find myself raising my voice (code: yelling!) at them out of frustration and irritation. I have moments of sanity and clearness of mind. Then suddenly I have no patience for their tears and lack of response to my requests and corrections.

Example? The other night Amelia came into the kitchen fussing while I was making dinner and Hot Hubby was busy. I knew she was getting hungry but the water works, though not unusual, were unnecessary. I thought. After I told her many times to go back and watch her movie I heard her say something about getting a tissue "out."

Thinking she was asking for a tissue I checked her nose to see if it was running. Seeing nothing that required more valuable tissue to be wasted, I told her she was fine and to please just go back to watching the movie!

Then she pointed to her nose and said, "Get tisoo out, Mom!" She had a small wad of tissue crammed up her nose (Thank you, Papa!). Then, when I tried to get it out of her nose, she freaked out and cried more! I was relieved when Hot Hubby took over. He dealt with the tissue AND the tears and earned some bonus points from Mommy.

So, the next day, after we had a few more emotional moments, I was dealing with guilt from my response and finally I remembered That I could/should apologize for yelling at them. Why do I always forget to apologize to my kids?!

I told Amelia I was sorry for yelling at her and asked her to forgive me. She said no, but I have a feeling she might not know what forgiveness means, being two years old and all. We hugged and kissed anyways. Then I apologized to Hazel, who does understand, and she forgave me and hugged and kissed on me.

As we were sitting there holding each other, Amelia walked passed with yet another wad of tissue hanging out of her nose! My first response was to yell at her to "GET THAT TISSUE OUT OF YOUR NOSE!"

After a few seconds Hazel turned to me and gently said, "Mom, remember when you said sorry for yelling at me?"

Ugh...heart dropping to my stomach...

"Yes, I do."

"Why did you yell at Millie? You should tell her you're sorry."

And she was right. And I did.

Pretty Much A Miracle

2011-05-27T08:44:00.000-07:00

Well, I did it. Finally.

I actually managed to keep a New Year's resolution.

It is the only one I made this year. (click on the link to read my weight loss strategy)

The resolution: Lose 20 pounds by the end of May.

Well. Here we are at the end of May and not only did I meet that goal...I surpassed it!

As of my three week postpartum appointment (Tuesday) I am down 25 pounds! Yay!

Now to get some new clothes...

When I got into the box that was supposed to hold my pre-baby clothes I found...I had thrown most of my pre-baby clothes away! And forgot about it! My wardrobe currently consists of long sleeve shirts and sweaters, a few dresses, a few pair of pants, and many, MANY light gray shirts of various sleeve lengths. And all of the light gray shirts have a VERY low v-neckline.

What is with me and light gray v-necks?!?

A shopping I must go!

I would love to love shopping, but I don't. I'm not very good at shopping for myself. And I don't shop much, which I think is part of the problem. I realized that I "season shop."

When we enter a new season I find that I am needing a few (or in this case many things) and do one shopping trip where I basically buy the same few things in multiple colors. Reading these posts has made me #1: aware of my drab wardrobe & #2: want to be a better shopper.

I did make a quick trip to my mom's new resale shop and got a few cute things. Now I just need to figure out how I can manage four kids while clothes shopping! That ought to be fun...

Sweet Words

2011-05-26T08:12:00.000-07:00

I realize that I usually post the funny things my kids say, but they say some really sweet things too and I want to share them with you all.

As the kids were getting to know Jackson after we got home from the hospital Abiah said to me, "Mom, I hope Jackson wants to obey Jesus...I've been praying that he will."

I teared up and was so caught of guard that I didn't know what to say. What a sweet boy with such a tender heart!

Wordless Wednesday: I Gots Durt

2011-05-25T09:26:00.000-07:00

'Til My Sides Hurt: A New Song, A Warning and An Observation

2011-05-24T12:32:00.001-07:00

Hazel made up a song this weekend that: 1. made me realize we need discuss her theology and 2. made me laugh hysterically. The lyrics:

"I am the mother of God... and she doesn't mind..."

(Sung to the tune of Psalty's song God is so Good)

Then she changed the words in a Barney song. Not really on purpose. She just doesn't know the right words. I like her version better.

"This one is a circle 'cause it has three sides... But it is still round..."

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Hazel was playing with a puzzle and when Amelia tried to join her Hazel said, "Amelia! Don't play with my puzzle! Don't be foolish!"

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A few days after we'd been home from the hospital with Jackson, Abiah casually mentioned to me, "Mom, Jackson's privacies are the same as mine...except smaller!"

The Story of We: Part 7 or Jackson's Birth Story

2011-05-23T23:20:00.000-07:00

In Part 6 of "The Story of We" I just found out that I was expecting. And I was elated! Still am. We'll, not pregnant, but elated.

Confused yet?

Me too!

It's taken me a while to figure out how I want to relate Jackson's birth story but I think if I break it down into sections we'll be good.

Just a little FYI: This post is bound to be a little lengthy and also contains some "details" that might make men and women with an aversion to birth stories squeamish. Just sayin'.

The Decision

To induce or not induce...that was the question. Though the idea had been tossed around when Jackson was head-down at 38 weeks I had decided to wait and "let things happen on their own."

But then 41 weeks got closer and closer and knowing that Amelia was 9lbs 7oz with a 14 in head at 41 weeks and 3 days I was sure I couldn't do that again. But all I had heard about induction seemed scary and unknown. I "knew" what it was like to go into labor naturally. This, not so much.

I sent my sister, Summer, a text one day asking, "Is the pitocin THAT bad?"

She called me laughing. Which is rare (the calling part, not the laughing) since we both are NOT phone people. We likey text! And we both homeschool...'nough said. She said I reminded her of an addict looking for a fix.

Truly, I felt like one. When you've tried every at-home remedy you can find (Minus Castor oil. I forgot about that one.) and your body is in so much pain and the toilet is the only "comfortable" place to sit it's time to "GET THIS BABY OUT!"

I was desperate.

So desperate that I took all of our bags to my appointment the day before I was officially 41 weeks and begged them to keep me. They couldn't, but they did let me make an appointment to be induced the next morning (Tuesday, May 3rd) at 7:30. It's funny to me that I could be disappointed and relieved all at the same time.

Being Induced

After Summer assured me that the pitocin wasn't horrible and I had a long talk with the midwife about how I wanted the induction to go, we made a date and kept it. Well I did.

The Birthing Center called me Tuesday morning saying they had a surge of activity and needed me to wait to come in until 11. Though I was once again disappointed I was able to take that time to calm my nerves and Hot Hubby and I got to have breakfast with my parents.

We arrived at the hospital around 11 and by noon I was hooked up to the pitocin. The plan was to be on pitocin to start contractions so that Jackson would move down more. At that point they could break my water without the risk of a prolapsed cord and they would ease me off of the pitocin allowing my body to take over. Which is what happened.

The contractions weren't horrible. Though everything seemed to move along normally I was confused by my seemingly sporadic contractions. It felt like they weren't consistent enough to be progressing much. But I was wrong.

I don't know the time line of events since I was distracted by labor pains. I seem to remember that they broke my water around 3-ish. Then around 5:30-ish my contractions started getting stronger and more intense. I thought they seemed a little "back labor-ish" but wasn't quite sure.

Around 6-6:30-ish I told my mom that I just needed to sit on the toilet because that was the only thing that sounded comfortable. Up to this point I had tried standing, sitting on the bed, birthing ball and toilet and anything else that seemed like it may help.

This time when I got on the toilet it felt like I was getting close to pushing. The feeling wasn't super strong so I hesitated to say anything, thinking that I was just going to find out that I wasn't as far along as I felt and I would be disappointed.

When I finally did say something to my mom, the midwife was called into the room and I got back onto the bed. When she checked me she said I was only a 6 and not completely effaced. Like I figured I was disappointed. I was also confused because I still felt like my body was telling me something else. Since the back labor was getting more intense I didn't know how I would hold out through the pain. At this point I figured that Jackson's head was turned sideways. I was right. Thus the back labor.

The midwife had me get up on the bed and lean against the back of it so as to help Jackson move down more and in hopes that gravity would help me dilate. At this point the pain was more intense than I remember with either of the girls. I moved around and tried to "help" my body in any way that I could think of that was also bearable. Finally I told the midwife that I needed to sit because the pressure was to intense and I felt I needed something to push against.

She checked me at this point and said I was now an 8 but was less effaced then she had originally thought. The problem for me was that my body was starting to push on its own.

I don't know if you've ever experienced these kind of contractions but they are intense. I had them with Hazel but not so much with Amelia. Basically my body was physically contracting so strong that I was pushing without even meaning to. I call them "involuntary pushing contractions" but I don't know what they are really called.

I have a love/hate relationship with them. Love: because it means I'm getting closer to the end and because they are so helpful. Hate: because both times I've had them I've been told not to push because my cervix wasn't fully dilated. And when your body is pushing and you are being told NOT to push it's easy to feel like you're doing something wrong.

The midwife wanted me to use a bar that they put on the end of the bed to help Jackson's head turn and help me finish dilating. I kept saying, "But I can't!" Which, in labor speak, was supposed to mean, "I am about to have this baby and there is NO time for that!" But since I wasn't able to communicate through the pain (and I was still doubting my progress for fear of disappointment) I consented to trying the bar. At this point though, I was feeling more pressure in my rump and started to feel "the ring of fire" burning.

The bar didn't make it into the room.

The midwife turned back from asking a nurse to get the bar to find Jackson starting to crown. As I held myself up off the bed through the "involuntary pushing contractions" to try to lessen the pressure and "not push" like I was told, Jackson's 14&1/2 inch head came out followed quickly by the rest of his 20 & 3/4 inch, 9lb 6.6 oz wiggly body. He was born at 7:39 pm.

So much for a smaller baby. Compared to Amelia he was half an ounce smaller and his head was 1/2 an inch bigger!

Nathan helped deliver him and quickly handed his slimy, squirmy body to me.

First Impressions

When I first saw Jackson his body was a purple/blue color, he had a head full of dark hair and his lips were swollen making him look very African. My first thought: How did that get in there!

Which is funny because a few months ago when I asked Hazel who she thought Jackson would look like her answer was, "Ummmm...AFRICA!"

This picture doesn't do justice to the color he was at the time but you can see how swollen his lips are.

The swelling in his lips went down right away and his coloring, though very red-ish, is very much like his dad's. Meaning Hot Hubby. My husband. Just to be clear!

The other thing I noticed right away was a tooth! He was crying instantly and as Nathan handed Jackson to me I could see a tooth just under the surface of his lower gum.

The tooth!

Post Delivery

Usually after a baby is delivered the mommy's pain lessens right away. This didn't happen when Jackson was born. My pain gradually got worse and worse. Even though the midwife told me I didn't need stitches it didn't feel that way to me. In fact I kept jokingly asking if maybe there was another baby in there because I was having all the "feelings" I had before I delivered Jackson: intense pressure, ring-of-fire burning & contractions.

After about an hour (ish) I told the nurse that I thought I was bleeding too much. When she checked me she and the midwife found that my uterus had stopped contracting and had filled up with LOTS of blood and blood clots.

The next half hour or so was intense and painful. After giving me a shot to curb the pain and using a catheter to drain my bladder, the midwife had to "knead" my tummy to get my uterus to drain and contract down to the size it should have been. I was put on super high levels of pitocin and given more pain killers. When the process was over they measured that I had lost 1&1/2 pounds of blood.

Though there are many details I can't remember or have a hard time putting into words the main thing about this part of Jackson's birth is this: he is here and I am fine. I didn't require surgery or a transfusion. I was put on two weeks of "doing nothing" rest. Not quite bed rest but I basically have just sat and held Jackson the whole time. Which I really wanted to be able to do for at least one week anyways.

Hot Hubby has had the last two weeks off and has this week off also which has been perfect. He has, once again, been my Knight and has taken care of everything! Jackson and I slept in every morning while Hot Hubby got up at the crack of dawn with the girls and Abiah, made breakfast for us all and got the day started with the kids. I have a few words to say on this subject but will save it for another post. Point is this: Hot Hubby is amazing! And HOT!

Jackson Post Delivery

Jackson's bilirubin count was high and we had to stay an extra night so he could stay under the blue lights. He handled the whole thing much better than I thought. Though at first I was upset that we had to stay longer I took the opportunity to take a few extra naps and take few baths in the jetted tub. Good call, if I do say so myself!

First pair of "shades".

Baby tanning bed!

The Party

Right before Jackson was born someone from my room heard one of the nurses comment that we had, "men, women and children in there!" And we did! It was great!

Hot Hubby and my Mom

Nathan was the only man in the room during the actual delivery but my dad was in the room when we first got there and then after the delivery he and my FIL came in to meet their new grandson.

My Dad, Mom and MIL

FIL, Hot Hubby and Jackson

During the labor and delivery we had 12 people in the room. NOT counting the nurses! This was the first of my kids' deliveries that my mom and sisters (3) and Hot Hubby's mom and sisters (2) were all able to be at.

Rachel, Nicole (SIL) and my MIL

RoxAnne and Hannah

We were also joined by my niece Naomi, my Aunt RoxAnne and cousins, Rachel and Hannah. My friend Erika made it at the last minute also. If the room was bigger I would have had more ladies join us.

I don't have pictures of everyone on my camera, but they were there. I promise. Also, because of the hemorrhaging drama not everyone got to hold him that night and we didn't get pictures of all who did.

Something about a tree falling and no one hearing it comes to mind here...

The Coping Mechanism

Since worship music helps me relax and focus in any situation, I created a list for my ipod of about 50 songs that I really like. I purposely chose songs that are calm with lyrics that are focused on the goodness of God and who He is. I don't mind listening to instrumental music occasionally, but most of the time I prefer songs I can sing to.

I also purchased a 3x5 card book and wrote out scriptures that speak of the Lord's strength and goodness, a few snippets from a devotional and a list of people to pray for. This idea came from a birth story I read here. The people I purposed to pray for are those whose situations in life are harder and last longer than childbirth. Some have chronic illnesses. Some don't have answers to their pain. Some want children and haven't been able to have them. Some have sick babies. Some have recently lost loved ones. I LOVED this idea when I read about it and it really did help me through my delivery.

Aside from the last hour and a half (or so) when the pain was the worst, these things really did help to keep me focused. In fact, the times when I was using these the most were some of the sweetest times of the delivery for me.

Other sweet times for me:

Nathan being my constant support and our Court Jester
The comradeship of the women in the room
My niece want to be involved and finding things to do like giving me sips of water
Laughing with the nurses and midwife
The surprise of a friend
Remembering loved ones who I wish could have been there
Hearing the click-clicking of the keyboard and looking over to see my sister posed, waiting to update my friends on Facebook.

There are many more I can't think of now. Overall Jackson's delivery was an amazing, joy filled time.

We are enjoying the sweet little bundle that he is and looking forward to knowing him better.

Boy Howdy

2011-05-13T13:01:00.000-07:00

We just wanted to pop on here and say a quick

All goes well here at the Crooked Castle. We are recovering well and will be posting a few updates soon. Stay tuned!

'Til My Sides Hurt: A Hero, A Cat, A Definition And A Dream

2011-04-27T15:36:00.000-07:00

Amelia announced to me today that, "Da Bibo save my life."

I sat here thinking how amazing it is that my two year old has somehow been touched by the Bible. As I was about to asked her what about the Bible saved her life she said, "My weel mommy save my life."

Sensing that maybe this was another made up two-year-old conversation that I had just gotten my hopes up about (I'm quick like that) I asked who her real mommy is Hazel chimed in.

"I am her real mommy. And I saved her life. God maked her died and I saved her life."

When I asked for further information I was told that the bad guys tried to "killed" Amelia and Hazel saved her life.

Amelia confirmed this by pointing to Hazel and repeating, "My weel mommy save my life."

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Hazel found an imaginary cat the other day. She named him Runo. He hung around for about a half hour. Got into his cat food. Got spanked. Then apparently he got Amelia's heart (as she was sleeping) and Hazel got rid of him.

And then she got a new cat. Imaginary of course. This one was named Roostapher. As she got Dolly-Dolly (her favorite doll) ready to go to the store she kept calling to Roostapher to, "wait for Mommy in the car! We're going bye-bye to buy eggs because we lost ours."

Part of the humor to me was that Abiah, who has had a few imaginary friends for the past 5 years, had a hard time accepting the fact that Hazel had an imaginary cat (or two). He, being so logical himself, tried to convince her that there are no imaginary cats. I reassured him that if HE could have imaginary friends/co-workers his sister could definitely have a few imaginary cats.

Especially since we won't be owning a real one anytime soon...

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As they were wrestling together, Hazel called Hot Hubby a jungle gym the other day. When I asked her if she even knew what a jungle gym was she replied, "Yes. It's a toilet seat."

When we all erupted laughing she caught on to her accidental humor and started calling Hot Hubby a toilet seat. After they argued back and forth about whether or not he is truly a toilet seat, Hot Hubby countered with, "I'm not a toilet seat!... You're a Drama Queen!"

Hazel froze. Threw herself on the floor. And started to cry.

Not at ALL proving his point...

Then through her tears she said, "If you call me a Drama Queen again I'm going to be dramatic!"

There are days when puberty feels closer than it should.

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During dinner Amelia casually told me about her recent dream. Usually these stories are brought on by her listening to Hazel and Abiah talk about their dreams and Amelia's dream stories just sound like two-year-old gibberish. This one surprised us.

"Mom, in my deems...I got new one...Po Pet (Pillow Pet)...baby kind."

I don't think she even knows they make those. But, then again, I thought I was her real mom, so what do I know...

Easter Story Cookies

2011-04-20T08:37:00.000-07:00

I made these with my kids last year and though Hazel and Amelia were too young to understand, Abiah really enjoyed it. The girls enjoyed it, too. They just didn't understand much more than the fact that we were making cookies. They will especially like it this year because their favorite way to "help" me cook is to stand next to me and taste EVERY ingredient added to the recipes. I figure it can only help them become better cooks when they are older. Right?...

If we aren't in the hospital having a baby, I plan to make these Saturday night with my brood.

If you've never made them or heard of them read through the WHOLE recipe before starting out. While it is a simple recipe, there are some specific instructions. Let me know if you've ever made them or what you think if you try them this year. Enjoy!

Easter Story Cookies

1 cup whole pecans
1 tsp vinegar
3 egg whites
pinch of salt
1 cup sugar
ziplock bag
wooden spoon
tape
Bible

FIRST!!! Preheat oven to 300 degrees. Don't wait until the middle of the recipe!

Place pecans in ziplock bag and let your children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested, He was beaten by the Roman soldiers.

Read John 19:1-3

Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. vinegar into the mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, He was given vinegar to drink.

Read John 19:28-30

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life (Boy, that could lead into an interesting conversation!). Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life.

Read John 10:10-11

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers, and the bitterness of our own sin.

Read Luke 23:27

So far, the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 cup of sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He want us to know and belong to Him.

Read Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12-15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the color white represents the purityin God's eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus.

Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid.

Read Matthew 27:57-60

Put the cookies in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF. Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door. Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed.

Read Matthew 27:65-66

GO TO BED! Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed.

Read John 16:20 and 22

On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! On the first Easter, Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty.

Read Matthew 28:1-9

Enjoy your Easter Day!

'Til My Sides Hurt: The Knock, Knock Joke

2011-04-15T19:26:00.000-07:00

Hazel has discovered knock, knock jokes. Not actual jokes that have a point. Just the idea of them. I think she's learned from Abiah who is really almost as clueless as Hazel when it comes to executing the jokes.

Hazel was sitting "telling" me her jokes that all followed along the lines of this one:

Hazel: Knock, knock!

Me: Who's there?

H: Your nose.

M: Your nose who?

H: It's me! Your nose!

Then she would bust up laughing at herself.

Abiah's jokes usually have some hidden meaning or deep explanation that only he's aware of. Like this one:

Abiah: Knock, knock!

Me: Who's there?

A: Butterfly.

M: Butterfly who?

A: Butter.

M: I guess I don't have a very good sense of humor because I don't understand that one.

A: Well, it's because there's this joke about why did the boy throw the butter out the window? Because he wanted to see it fly...

M: Oh...I see.

After he tells this joke Hazel tells one similar to the one above. This time the punch line was:

"It's me! Your door!"

Abiah rolled his eyes and replied, "Hazel that's not even funny. Some people don't have a sense of humor." And then he quickly added, "Mom, what's a sense of humor?"

While I laughed to myself, Amelia walked up and tried her hand at a knock, knock joke:

Amelia: Knot, knot!

Me: Who's there?

Amelia: You's boobies!

That time I laughed!

Flippin' Day

2011-04-12T09:32:00.000-07:00

Warning: This post may contain a few "Lady Details." Enter at your own risk!

Yesterday was Jackson's Flip Day. We loaded our van with all our gear just in case we ended up having a baby and headed to the doctor appointment. I drove so Hot Hubby could eat his lunch. And so my blood pressure would stay at a healthy rate.

I don't know why, but Hot Hubby's driving has been freakin' me out as of late. My distress could be from the two accidents I've been in the last two years. Or it could be from Hot Hubby's insistence that "too close" is bumper on bumper. Literally. This is especially exciting when the person behind us has the same driving standards as Hot Hubby.

Exciting meaning: I'm about to kick a hole in the passenger side floor board.

But I digress.

So, on the way to the hospital we: Drove through a hail storm. Came upon a road block and had to turn around. Went back through the hail storm. Took the windier route. Came across a bigger hail storm. Slowed down to a crawl to avoid sliding in the snow-like hail. And arrived ten minutes late. But we had fun on the way!

And since I was driving it was Hot Hubby's turn to have blood pressure problems.

While we waited for the Doctor I asked Hot Hubby what his prayer was for the day. He told me that he was praying that our Little Mister would already be turned and that everything else would be just fine.

As well as praying for Jackson to turn we've been telling Jackson that he needed to be obedient and turn.

"Did you just boss an unborn child?!"

"It is never too early to learn manners!"

Name that movie!

Within a few minutes of the doctor coming in he announced that he could do this version in his sleep because Jackson was/is vertex. Which means he is in the right position!

We were so relieved! Not only did we avoid the discomfort of the version and possible c-section, but there's a possibility that since this baby is being obedient in utero he might carry that over into his childhood...possibly.

I realize this dream of mine has a slim chance of survival but what are we if we can't dream?!?

Since Jackson was still so high there is still the possibility of him turning again. We are now praying for him to stay in this position but to move down.

My midwife also suggested that we try induction while he's head down. I'd rather avoid a hospital induction so I am trying all the home remedies I know of or that have been suggested to me.

My favorite so far is eating a raspberry sundae. I suppose that idea comes from using red raspberry leaf tea to induce labor. Either way, I'm willing to try both!

What are some methods you've used or heard of to induce labor?

A Day Without Shoes!

2011-04-05T09:33:00.000-07:00

18!

I own 18 pairs of shoes.

Confession?

Maybe.

Especially when I hear of those who go without shoes every day and contract diseases because of it. Diseases that could be cured by a pair of shoes!

Join me as I participate in Kari's challenge to go A Day Without Shoes.

Also,

if you join in the fun
and find you have a few pairs of gently used shoes you can get rid of
and you live in the Portland area

My mom and her friend just bought a resale boutique in West Linn and they are taking shoe donations for the Japan Tsunami victims. You can find them at:

Maggie's Magnolia Boutique
19155 Willamette Dr
West Linn, OR 97068

I'm curious. Leave a comment with the amount of shoes you own. Were you surprised like me?

'Til My Sides Hurt: Disgusting Boys Edition

2011-04-04T08:19:00.000-07:00

Hazel and Amelia were taking a bubble bath the other day. While they entertained themselves with the tub full of bubbles I started cleaning the bathroom. Shortly after they saw what I was doing they asked for wash cloths and when they got them promptly starting "scrubbing" the tub. As they "cleaned" they complained:

Hazel: "Abiah, maked a big mess! He's so gross! Boys are skusting!"

Amelia: "Biah. Make. Mess. Scusing!"

H: "He always makes a mess!"

A: "Make. Mess!"

H: "Boys are so gross!"

A: "Boys. Gos!"

H: "Ugh! Abiah maked a big mess! And I have to clean it up! He's so skusting!"

A: "Keen. Up. Mess! Scusing!"

H: "Boys is so gross, Mom!"

A: "Boys. Gos. Mom."

I told Abiah that I was sorry he was the one to take all the blame for the messes, but tried to encourage him by reminding him that the girls have NO idea what messes Jackson will be making soon. I think they'll be more disgusted by those messes then the ones Abiah presumably made.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hazel was wearing her sparkle shoes that have a strap across the top of the foot. When she took her shoe and sock of to show me the lines that the straps were making she said, "Look, Mom! I'm a demon!"

I think she meant to say she had an indent.

Easy Guacamole

2011-04-01T15:27:00.000-07:00

A man from our church shared this "recipe" for guacamole a few weeks ago. It's too good not to share. Easy and delicious? Sign me up! It also happens to be quite healthy, too!

1 ripe avocado, smashed
1-2 garlic cloves, peeled and finely chopped or smashed
(I highly recommend the Pampered Chef garlic press)
salt and pepper to taste

Serve with your favorite chips or on top of your favorite Mexican dish. Enjoy!

Prentatal Update: 36 Weeks and Counting!

2011-03-31T21:33:00.000-07:00

Down, that is. We're counting down! Although it seems weird to me that as I add another week I'm actually counting down at the same time. Seems a little backwards.

That may explain why when I'm asked how far along I am I keep replying in weeks left. Like today I would say, "Four weeks!" People get really confused when a seemingly 8 month pregnant lady tells them she is four weeks along. Please don't be scared off by my genius-ness. It's intimidating. I know.

I went in for my 36 week appointment today. We are both doing well. We did find something out today that I've been suspecting for awhile, though. Before I tell you about that I have to give you some background.

When we found out we were having a boy I was thrilled! I still am, too. Believe you me. We don't need anymore Drama Club members. Hazel and Amelia overflow that department just perfectly.

Anyways, though I DESPERATELY wanted a boy I kept having this thought that maybe Jackson would pull an "Uncle Summer." To clarify, Uncle Summer is my oldest sister. (Abiah nicknamed her Uncle Summer and she likes it. If you don't, I'm sorry.) To "pull an 'Uncle Summer'" means that we would spend twenty weeks preparing for a boy baby because the ultra-sound technician pointed to the screen and said, "There "it" is! A boy!" but we would be surprised at the delivery to have a girl instead.

That happened to my mom when she had Summer. She had three boy baby showers and had to take everything back. Of course that was a "few" years ago and ultra-sounds are clearer now. When I mentioned this "thought" to Hot Hubby he quickly told me that it wasn't the case and to stop talking that way.

Well, today it was confirmed that Jackson is NOT pulling an "Uncle Summer." He is, however, trying to pull an "Auntie Am." Auntie Am is my sister directly after me. The third of the four of us girls (Summer, Me, AmberLee & MaShayla). To "pull an 'Auntie Am'" means that a baby is breech. (My mom was in the hospital for FOUR days in labor with AmberLee who was born breech.)

Thankfully there are things the doctors and midwives do now that will help us avoid a breech delivery. They are giving me until 37 weeks and 6 days (April 11th) for Jackson to turn on his own. If he isn't turned by then they will try turning him manually.

To be honest I'm nervous. I know that turning Jackson will be uncomfortable. The part I'm most concerned with is the rare complications that can rise due to turning a baby. If Jackson shows stress or decline after being turned they will do an emergency c~section. Though I definitely won't put Jackson or myself in danger, severe abdominal surgery doesn't sound fun.

I am praying that he either turns on his own or, if they have to turn him, there will be no complications. I am also asking God for peace. My heart is kind of all over the place right now. This has been my specific prayer this evening:

Prone to wander, Lord I feel it.
Prone to leave the God I love.
Here's my heart.
Oh, take and seal it!
Seal it for thy courts above!

Join me, please!

The Beer Belly

2011-03-29T13:24:00.000-07:00

I know I told you that it was a baby.

I led you to believe I am expecting a little man-child in the next month.

I may have even given stats and even posted pictures of "the goods."

It was a lie.

A terrible lie to cover up the bigger issue.

My beer belly.

My profile may resemble a pregnant woman, but don't let your eyes fool you. It's just a beer belly.

When you are sitting next to me and think you can see movement, it's not a baby. It's my muscles. Yes, even though I have an enormous beer belly I still have AMAZING stomach muscle control.

I'm magical that way.

I know I should have been honest with you. That's part of the joy of blogging; honesty while hidden behind a computer screen.

Maybe it was just easier to cope with the issue by tricking myself and you into believing it was something it wasn't.

Maybe I figured it would be easier to answer the "here's your sign" questions like "Wow! You're still pregnant?!" and "Are you sure there aren't two in there?!" then having to give an honest answer about my addiction.

People don't judge so much when it's a baby in there. Everyone loves babies, right?

Whatever it was or is, the truth is out now and I can rest.

For those who need it, here's the proof. My Beer Belly:

36 weeks pregnant!

Oh, shoot! There I go again. You know what they say! Once you start lying it's hard to stop!

Wordless Wednesday: Embrace the Mullet

2011-03-23T09:42:00.000-07:00

Letters

2011-03-21T16:49:00.001-07:00

In February Abiah made a Valentine's Day ornament and wanted to give it to his cousin, Hayden. I thought this would be a great teaching opportunity and decided we would mail it and learn about writing letters and addressing envelopes.

It also turned out to be a great lesson in procrastination since we didn't get to it until the beginning of March. Even though it was on my counter the whole time.

I decided that for the letter I would focus on format and let the spelling and grammar take the backseat for the day. Abiah doesn't have many opportunities to write outside of copy work for school so this gives me a better idea of how he is coming along in other areas.

Plus you never know what funny things kids will say when they just write on their own.

I recently saw a letter I wrote to my grandparents when I was around six. In it I made sure to explain to them that I was a grown up and did NOT like being treated like a kid. Nathan says that letter explains a lot. I have NO idea what he's talking about.

So, I took a picture of Abiah's letter to post here. I have his permission. He's actually really excited that I'm posting it on my blog. I hope he remembers that when he gets older!

A few days after this letter was sent Abiah lost another tooth. He eagerly anticipated a night time visit from the Tooth Fairy. Sadly he had to wait a few days before her arrival. She had a good reason though. She explained the details in the note she left with his dollar. It seems she may have also had a peek at the letter Abiah sent Hayden because there were some eerie similarities.

Since our family is used to Hot Hubby's sometimes random schedule Abiah was very gracious and understanding. Which made the Tooth Fairy relax a little. For now. Abiah's got another loose tooth and the Tooth Fairy is hoping she'll remember to show up on time!

How A Night Or Two Became A Week And A Half

2011-03-17T21:33:00.000-07:00

The weekend before last was supposed to be a laid back weekend. Aside from the mile long nesting list I'd compiled we had nothing planned. However, since Hot Hubby has developed an allergic reaction to my to-do lists, we spent the day hanging out at home basking in the laziness of the day.

In the evening I did manage to get one item marked off my list: haircuts for the men folk! Abiah was starting to look too Beiber-ish and Hot Hubby's do that I had convinced him into was failing. It isn't my fault that the back of his hair does exactly what I want it to and the front doesn't cooperate AT ALL!

Abiah was more than pleased to get his hair cut. Hot Hubby put up a bit of a fuss but that may have been because of the momentary mullet I gave him when I first started cutting! (pics to come later!)

Little did we know that while we were innocently going about our normal lives an evil plan was unfolding right under our feet. Well, right outside the front window actually.

After the whacking of hair was completed and everyone had bathed we discovered that the fit had hit the shan. Or rather, the mit had hit the shud. Well, let's face it. Poo by any other name is still poo. In short the Crooked Castle had some septic problems.

Without getting into the nitty-gritty details (eww! sorry!) of that mess here's an overview of what our week-and-a-half ended up looking like:

We decided to abandon the Crooked Castle and headed to the in-laws after church on Sunday to stay the night, maybe two. The in-laws are more than happy to have us. My MIL loves to have us stay with her and my FIL loves that we brought the Xbox. Oh. And he was happy to have us stay, too.

Monday we had the line unplugged but they discovered a crack in the line. Apparently 50 year old pluming pipes made of material older than dinosaurs don't last forever!

The MIL and I spend our days looking after the kid's, nursing a dog recovering from surgery, keeping said kids away from said dog, and trying to carry on with life as normally as possible.

Hot Hubby decides the best course of action is to find the break himself. (ew!) A break in a septic line means you're not just digging in dirt! (EW!)

Wednesday Hot Hubby heads home to find the break. I head to the chiropractor to get a massage and adjustment since I can barely walk. Though my MIL is hospitality all wrapped up in a pretty package, I've turned all "The Queen and the Pea" and have a severe disagreement with the mattresses on her guest beds. I know because I tried them both! My hips thank me.

Friday the kids and I make a date with my mom to go shopping and register for Jackson at Target! We find the perfect homecoming outfit and blanket for him and have a great time with my mom.

Hot Hubby and the FIL come out to the Crooked Castle and dig some more to completely uncover the line. (ew! double ew!)

At this point I've resigned myself to the fact that I probably won't be home again until Monday.

Saturday a call is made to the plumbers. We are told they'll be out Monday. I decide I'll plan to stay until Tuesday.

I enjoy watching my kids dance to Mary, Mary with their Poppi. I wish I had a video camera with me!

Hot Hubby and I have some significant time together to talk about our marriage and work through a few issues. We receive great council and support from both of our parents.

Sunday we receive a call that the line is fixed.

We decide to head home Monday.

We wake up Monday and Amelia has come down with the flu.

I spend Monday and Tuesday on the floor and the couch holding her. My prego hips withstand more torture.

Abiah takes advantage of me being distracted with Amelia and enjoys a few days of too much tv and Xbox.

Hazel takes advantage of me being distracted with Amelia and gets into EVERYTHING!

My MIL chases Hazel throughout the house for me, makes meals and keeps us all in clean clothes. Seriously. The woman is a machine! She does laundry ALL day! My laundry room is IN my living room and I can't keep up with it.

Wednesday morning Amelia was finally able to keep some food down and seemed relatively normal.

Hot Hubby heads back to the Crooked Castle before me and the kids and cleans the house for me. Unexpectedly leaving your house for a week and a half has consequences no pregnant woman wants to deal with. I tried to prepare the house but there's only so much you can do without running water! And I only expected to be gone a night or two!

We all were home by Wednesday afternoon and my comfy bed and I were reacquainted just in time for naps! My hips haven't stopped thanking me.

We are so thankful to be back home but we know we couldn't have gotten through this last week without our families.

It feels insufficient to just say "Thank You" so I promise that if I ever win the lottery I will split my earnings with both of our parents. I think that's the only way I'll ever have enough money to repay you. In the meantime, please accept me bragging on you as a substitution?

Oh, and I apologize to those Oregonians who don't want anymore rain. I'm praying for it right now because a portion of my front yard is covered in dirt mixed with...well, you know.

'Til My Sides Hurt: When Daddy's In Charge

2011-03-05T15:21:00.000-08:00

A recent conversation between me and Hot Hubby:

Me: Have the kids eaten lunch yet?

HH: No.

Me: Why not?

HH: Because I'm not hungry yet.

Me: Well... Are they?

HH: Well, your daughter ate a napkin a little while ago so I figured she'll be fine for awhile and the other ones aren't complaining yet...

There's A Reason and A Conclusion

2011-03-03T11:28:00.000-08:00

There really is. I know it's been a few weeks since I've posted and every time I come back from a hiatus I promise I'll get better about posting. Every day I have multiple things to blog about, but when it comes time to sit down and blog I can't find it. It being the patience to sort through my thoughts and feelings and put them into articulate sentences and paragraphs.

I'm just entering the eighth month of this pregnancy and for some reason it feels like the tenth month. I didn't get this way with Hazel and only remember feeling this way in the last month and ten days I went over due with Amelia.

From the moment I'm awakened by Hazel slamming her door open and the startled cries of Amelia being rudely awakened I have to force myself to tap into that seemingly invisible well of patience. Though I love my life and my sweet little family, right now most days feel like I've spent an eternity trying to be intentional with them and myself.

So while I sort through these emotions and reserve my energy for my little family, please be patient with me. I have so much that I want to share with you all. I hope to get there soon.

For now I've come to the conclusion that if I let myself stress eat "crap food" every now and then (read: once or twice a week...or day), but am honest with myself about it doesn't count. Especially if I eat well the week of my next check up/weigh in. I've accepted this justification as an acceptable reality in my life...for now.

I'd ask your opinion but I may not like your answer. Feel free to indulge my justification in the comment area below!

Prenatal Update: 28/29 Weeks

2011-02-11T15:58:00.000-08:00

A week ago today I went in for my 28 week prenatal appointment. I still can't believe I'm this close to my due date. In most ways these last six months have gone very fast. Jackson and I are doing great.

I received the results from my glucose test and I passed with flying colors. The only concern is my iron levels which, if I remember right, I had to pay attention to with the girls, too. I guess it's a good thing I have a lot of elk in my freezer!

I was worried about my weight because I was suddenly feeling very pregnant. The midwife laughed when I told her that. Up until the last few weeks I kept forgetting I am pregnant. Being so busy with my other three kids has contributed to that memory loss I'm sure. I was relieved when she told me I have gained a total of 11 lbs so far. Since my appointment I have tried to avoid mindless snacking and I am feeling so much better.

My cravings are for "man foods." Lots of meat and potatoes and onions. Why onions? I don't understand that one. I also had a strong craving for a milkshake this week. It seems that most of my cravings are random.

I had a craving for these caramels topped with sea salt that someone told me about. When I went to the store to get them I found out that they only carry them during the Christmas holidays. After wandering around the store to see if I could find anything that could fill its place, I left pouting and disappointed. Then I went to my mom's and complained to her and asked for her caramel recipe. I still don't have the recipe but she did help me make the caramels. And they were scrumptious! I am so her favorite!

I realize that I promised a picture after last month's update and have yet to deliver on that promise. I would jump up and take one now but I am fighting an awful head cold and don't really feel photogenic at the moment.

I can assure you that my tummy is growing. Hazel and Amelia have a very hard time getting comfortable sitting in my lap. Hazel just gives up and will sit next to me. Amelia insist on doing her kitty cat roll and will flop and turn until she feels comfortable. Which usually leaves me in the most uncomfortable and squished position possible. If it was a once a day occurrence I would probably not even notice. But she sits on my lap for about 2 minutes and then gets down to play and is back in about 5 minutes for another round. She needs to be close to her momma. I wonder how this will work when I'm nursing.

Jackson is moving a lot now. I can watch his movement through my shirt. Hot Hubby has had many a shoving match with Jackson already. Usually in the early morning. When I'm trying to sleep.

Hazel and Abiah have both felt him move but Hazel has been very hesitant to hold her hand on my tummy to feel his kicks. I was kind of sad about this for awhile. When I asked her why she didn't want to feel him she said, "I don't want him to kick me!" Word choice matters!

I am definitely nesting. I have a list of projects on the fridge and I am hoping to rope Hot Hubby into working through a few of them this weekend. I realized that I need to go register soon. I completely forgot about that!

I have a few boxes of hand-me-downs from family so we are pretty set for 0-3 month clothes but there are a few bigger items that we need to get before he gets here.

Since he will be in our room for the first few months and then in the same room as his sisters for awhile I don't have a nursery to show you. But you can go here to see the crib set we've chosen. Super cute, huh?

I go back in the last Friday of this month and then I start going in every two weeks! So close!

Funny

2011-02-10T08:46:00.000-08:00

While trying to explain the difference between cows, bulls and oxen to Abiah I explain that oxen are male cows that can't have babies.

His response: "Oh, they can't have babies, so that's why they grow horns."

Huh?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I took Hazel to go potty she showed me the condensation on the toilet tank with concern. "That's ok. It's just moisture, Hazel," I assured her.

"No, it's not, " she argued.

This went back and forth a few times before she said, "It's water!"

"You're right, " I replied. "Water is moisture."

"No, it's not," she argued again.

"Well, what is water then?"

"It's when we wash our hands and we put some soap, um um um, that's water."

"And what is moisture?"

"It's when there's water in the toilet and we put a bird in there. And then we put soap in there and we mix it round and round. Then we wash it off...That's what that be's"

Oh! Okay...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I asked Hazel if she knows what Attentive means she said, "Yes. Its means when we put duckies in the bath tub."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hazel woke up the other morning from a bad dream crying and yelling for me. She claimed that the mice bit her and she was pointing to the same "hippo" that Amelia bit the other day.

After assuring her once more that there are no mice in our house, I reminded her that Amelia bit her and told her she had just had a bad dream and would be just fine.

When we came down stairs she informed Abiah that, "Amelia and the mice bit me!"

I reminded her, "No. It was just a bad dream."

"My bad dream bit me!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While eating dinner, Hazel was sitting on her legs in her chair. When she moved to put her feet in front of her she complained, "Mom! My feet are buzzing."

Nathan and I explained to her that it was just the blood coming back into her feet.

The next morning after breakfast she came and, putting her foot in my face, said, "Mom. My blood's doing it again!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was wearing a shirt with 3/4 length sleeves. Abiah asked me, "Is your shirt too small or is it supposed to look like that?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I asked Hazel if she knows what brave means. "It's when Daddy pushes Uncle Dan in the toilet."

Uncle Dan is a man from church who is over six foot and I think he boasts that he's close to 300lbs. He also happens to work at the county jail. So I guess that would be considered brave. Or stupid!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Potty talk (or poopoo talk) has been curb for the most part in our house. I rarely have to correct the kids for it right now. Last night I was talking to Amelia about how chubby she is.

Me: "You have a chubby chin!"

Amelia: "Tubby tin!"

Me: "You have chubby cheeks!"

Amelia: "Tubby teeks!"

Me: "Chubby belly!"

Amelia: "Tubby bewy!"

Me: "You have a chubby butt!"

Amelia: "Tubby..." then pointing her finger at me in disapproval, "Poopoo cok, mom!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Abiah is still quite perplexed about just how the Doctors are going to get Jackson out of me. The other day during lunch he commented, "Jackson doesn't have a mom."

"Yes, he does," I argued. "I'm his mom!"

"Well, I mean he's not born yet. Which, Mom, I just can't figure it out. Because I've seen your mouth and it's not that big and I know how big Jackson will probably be when he's born and that's the only hole in and out. So I just don't know how he's going to get out of you!"

While stifling laughter and allowing my heart to slow to a regular pace I said, "Well, God made a special way for babies to be born. Mommy will tell you more about it later."

I think it's later. There are too many questions and too many questions coming, I'm sure. We ordered this book series to help us out. Have you had this conversation with your kids? Did you have any books to help out? Tell me how it went!

Refried Beans from Canned Black Beans and Pan Nachos

2011-01-31T12:51:00.000-08:00

Because of my issue with soy I am needing to find alternatives for most foods, refried beans being one of them. My amazing sister showed me how to make my own "refried beans" using canned black beans. It is super easy and equally delicious.

For my family of five I use:

2 - 14oz cans of black beans (drained and rinsed well)
3-4 cloves of garlic (peeled and chopped finely)
1-2 tablespoons of olive oil
1/2 cup of water

Boil these on the stove until most of the liquid has been cooked out. Then you can either serve them as is or mash them up a bit. I put them through the food processor for a few seconds since I don't have a potatoes masher.

I have been using this recipe to make nachos so I usually add about a 1/4 cup of taco seasoning. Also, don't be afraid to add some minced veggies. I've added onion and zucchini (mince half a zucchini in the food processor or blender before mashing the beans) and my family was none the wiser.

The fact that this is a healthier version of refried beans hasn't occurred to them either. I LOVE it!

For Pan Nachos:

If you want meat:

brown 1 lb of burger (add taco seasoning packet)
add beans
add 1 can of stewed tomatoes (drained)

Spread on a large cookie sheet or pizza pan. Top with your favorite nacho toppings (cheese, olives, green onions, jalapenos, etc). Bake for 15-20 minutes or until cheese is melted and golden around the edges. Serve with chips, salsa, sour cream, guacamole, etc. You can even use it as a filling for burritos.

This recipe gives us plenty for one dinner and lots of leftovers. Since it's not a meal the girls especially enjoy we usually have plenty left over. I made this for the five of us and my parents and we still had leftovers so I imagine it would be safe to say it feeds 6-8 adults (with the meat).

Enjoy!

The Next Step: The Big Girl Bed

2011-01-27T22:26:00.001-08:00

Last night was Hazel's first night in her big girl bed. Abiah was already in a big bed when he moved in with us so this is the first time that we are taking this step with one of our kids. I know most of you probably wonder why we still had our three year old in a crib. The answer?

Hazel was 15 months old when Amelia was born. A big girl bed was not an option. She has only attempted an escape from her crib once and she didn't like the result of falling on the floor so she has never attempted it again. It has just been easier to keep her in her crib then to go through the fight of keeping her in bed. There are lots of safety concerns I've had also. We are working through all of that, though.

Since we need her crib for Jackson soon I would rather start the fight now and gain some ground then start right after having a baby. So we took the plunge. She was so excited. She begged us all the first evening to be able to go to bed, even going so far as to claim to be tired. At 5 in the evening.

When we laid the girl's down at 7 we were prepared for a fight. Amelia was pretty upset that she couldn't sleep in the "Bugur bed, bugur bed!" and she cried about that for a few minutes but they both went to sleep with very little issue. I think Nathan only had to go back in their room once.

I tried not to get too cocky and I'm glad I had that foresight. Otherwise my pride would have taken a serious hit at 2:30 in the morning when Hazel first called for me. Here's a brief overview of the happenings in our house from 2:30am - 5:00am this morning:

2:30- Hazel calls for me and I wake from the most restful sleep I've had in a few weeks and go to check on her. I find her room semi-rearranged and her sitting angelically on her bed. She announces that she is ready. For what I'm not sure. I correct her and put her back to bed telling her it's the middle of the night and therefore still time to sleep.

2:35- Hazel calls that she needs to poo. I vacillate between the idea of the journey downstairs just for a false alarm and the thought of changing a poopy three year old. I decide to take the trip down stairs.

2:45- We head back upstairs after a false alarm is confirmed. I remind her that it is the middle of the night and therefore still time to sleep.

2:50- Hazel calls to me and I come just to find that she's ready. She still doesn't know what she's ready for though. This continues until about 3:30. That's when Amelia chimed in with, "Mik in der, Mom? Mine? Mik in der?" Which roughly translates to, "Is there milk in my cup and if there isn't would you please go down stairs and get me some?" I tell Amelia she has had plenty of milk and remind both girls that it is the middle of the night and therefore still time to sleep.

3:40- Amelia has decided to protest and begins rattling her cup against the bars of her crib "prison style." I'm sure I hear choruses of "Swing Low Sweet Chariot" coming from her room.

3:45- I crawl back into bed from having just reminded the girls that it is STILL the middle of the night and therefore still time to sleep.

3:50- Jackson decides that one of my internal organs resembles a disco ball and starts dancing to a rhythm that only he can hear.

3:50-4:30- Was broken up between reminders to Hazel that it was still the middle of the night and therefore still time to sleep!!!, a threat to return Hazel to the empty baby bed if sleep was not had soon, being woken from my attempts at sleep by a few more "prison like" protests from Amelia, and Jackson's dance party.

5:00- I was almost asleep and I heard a door close down stairs. I assume it is Abiah going to the bathroom but I can't rest until I know for sure that Hazel didn't sneak past my radar and get down the stairs by herself. I get up and check on her and she is sleeping in her bed. I do a little dance of victory and joy, but not too big so as not to wake my internal tiny dancer who has momentarily hung up his dancing shoes and is catching some z's of his own.

6:30- I am awakened by Amelia calling, "Hahzo, Hahzo!" (Hazel) and the conversation that followed.

6:35- Hazel turns the light on in their room and I beg Hot Hubby to take the girl's down stairs and to let me sleep until 8. PLEASE!PLEASE!PLEASE! He was a generous and wise husband and he did. I woke up around 8:45 a semi-rested but very thankful wife.

So we enter night two. Both girls went down without any corrections. They are sound asleep and will hopefully stay that way until a decent time in the morning. Once again I'm choosing to refrain from being cocky. It served me well last night. My pride appreciates it, I'm sure.

Encouragement Towards Intentional Living

2011-01-26T08:17:00.000-08:00

Apparently I'm not the only one purposing to be intentional this year. Check out these lovely posts that have encouraged me in my own journey the last few weeks:

Educator's Soliloquy
MCB and I were in a homeschool graduation ceremony together, attended the same church for awhile, and then worked in an office together. One of the things I've appreciated about her blog, her as a person, and this particular post is that though our lives so different from each other we share a common desire (and plenty of common interests). That common desire seems to make this huge world seem just a little smaller and cozier.

Inspired to Action
I've been following this blog since this last summer. I wrote about it here, here, and here. I was really enjoying my morning times and then I got pregnant. It was hard to get up early when I was in the throws of morning sickness. Now it's hard to get up early because I'm trying to grow a human and I need more sleep than I get. I still enjoy the encouragement I find in her posts though. The post linked above was a recent favorite.

Oh My Stinkin' Heck
I just realized lately that I don't actually follow OMSH. She is a guest post on the homeschool page of Pioneer Woman's blog. That's where I read her entries. I've admired the way she encourages the different personalities and interests in each of her children.

(I also secretly envy her homeschool room. I guess it's not a secret anymore. One day I will have a room as white and book shelf lined where everything has a proper place as she does. One day. Today is not that day.)

In the post linked above I kept coming back to the part about being all there. Being in the moment. The efficiency lover in me want to multi-task. The wife, mom, and woman in me needs to slow down and take in each moment.

This was evident even today when Abiah was reading out loud to me. I wondered what reading level the book he is going through (The Boxcar Children) would be considered so I got online to check it out. I missed a page and a half of what he was saying and he missed out on having my undivided attention.

Side note: Hazel has expresses a deep concern for these children that "have to get into the box." "Why, mom? Why do they have to get into the box?" Abiah is equally baffled but no so much concerned. He just doesn't understand what they are doing in a box. And how they all fit.
He also doesn't understand how Jackson eats while inside of me. And why does he have a cord coming out of his tummy? And what happens when they cut it off? And how do they even get him out of there? And why do babies belly buttons fall off after they are born? Does it hurt?

Anybody wanna take a stab at any one of those?

Crap. I didn't think so.
Side note over.

I have great plans for some detailed blogs about my move towards an intentional life. Stay tuned...

Random

2011-01-25T21:26:00.000-08:00

1. Hazel announced during a rather unusually calm dinner tonight that she would like a new mommy. She was unable to give a reason. If I was in the middle of correcting her I think I could understand her statement. I have no idea where it came from though. Surprisingly I didn't cry.

2. Amelia turned two today. I can't believe that two years has gone since I was holding her in my arms for the first time.

3. I had a migraine that started Friday night. It finally subsided Saturday mid-morning. Then I hit my head on the edge of my counter. My headache came back. I hit Hot Hubby when he came to see what had happened because I thought he laughed at me. He swears he didn't. Abiah heard it too. Which he then took as permission to laugh at along with his dad. I cried. I still have a sore spot on my head.

4. Lately when I am having insane moments with my kids (like correcting them for the same thing over and over or, all three of them are demanding something from me at the same time) I've been saying, "You guys are driving me crazy!" Part of me feels uber guilty. The other day I told Amelia to stop doing something and she turned to me and said, "Cazy me, Mom!" I admit, I laughed.

5. Of course #4 happened right after Amelia's birthday party. I think she was feeling like a spoiled princess. She told me "no'' about three times that night. She doesn't usually talk to me that way. Those are the times I was she was this small again.

Well, those times and the times when she doesn't want to hold still while I kiss and pinch her chunky cheeks. But then there are the times when she quotes lines from movies. Or talks to me mostly in child gibberish and completely thinks we are having a conversation. Or when she sings, "There once was a green little frog, frog, frog" except when she says frog it sounds like a really bad word. Or when she sings "Nothing but the Blood of Jesus." Or when she sings anything at all. Or when she crawls into my lap with a "Hi, momma!" for a few seconds just because she needed to be close to me for a little bit.

6. Man. If I'm having this much trouble with her turning two, what is going to be like when she is ready to move out?!?

7. Abiah announced to me and Hot Hubby that he is reading "Hole in Our Gospel" which is a book Hot Hubby and I are reading through in a discussion group with our church. The way he announced it was so every-day-nonchalant. It made me laugh. He keeps his place with a single square of toilet paper. I swear he is my dad in a 7 year old body.

8. Today when I let Abiah know I wasn't going to the food bank because my friend was busy he asked, "Why isn't she going? Is she not going because she was at the oochie koochie?" I cried, I was laughing so hard. He has NO idea what that means! He was just repeating a line from a song in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. My dad did something similar when he was a young kid. They are so much alike.

9. Tomorrow is three months from my due date. I'm trying not to focus on the date so much. I keep telling myself and others "the end of April." Seeing pictures of Amelia as a newborn makes me wish for the end of April to be here.

10. Seeing pictures of Amelia's newborn 14 inch head and 9lb 7oz body makes me wish Jackson will come early or on time. We don't want to go 10 days over this time!

A New Kind of Color

2011-01-19T09:47:00.000-08:00

The other night the kids were discussing their favorite colors for the nine billionth time. Abiah's favorites are and always have been blue and then red. Hazel has decided that her favorite color is pink and her second favorite changes depending on the day and sometime her mood.

Since Amelia is at a talking disadvantage the older two have tried to push the color purple on her. I keep reminding them that she is too little to make such a decision and "for heaven's sake, quit pushing that awful color on my daughter!" Or something like that.

When they asked Hot Hubby what his favorite color is he responded with, "I don't have a favorite color."

I immediately disagreed and assured the kids, "Daddy does have a favorite color. His favorite color is Mommy." Hot Hubby gave me a knowing glance.

I was surprised when no one argued that a person can't be a color. Especially Abiah. Captain Literal.

When Abiah asked if my favorite color was Daddy, Hot Hubby responded before I could even take a breath. "No. Daddy is like Mommy's 5th or 6th favorite color!"

I laughed and told him that he is probably more like my 3rd favorite color. Then I reminded the kids that my favorite color is yellow, then pink.

But Daddy is definitely my 3rd favorite color.

Sickies, Liars and Biters. Oh My!

2011-01-18T08:52:00.000-08:00

After sneezing Hazel informed me, "Achoo is means bergers come out."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I asked Hazel if she had a good nap and she told me, "Yes. I went honk shoo."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hazel and Amelia were playing and Hazel ran into the room, threw herself down on a pile of blankets and exclaimed, "Father Abraham pushed me down!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The girls have officially started lying. I was doing school in the kitchen with Abiah and heard Amelia start to cry. When I called the girls into the kitchen Amelia came crying saying, "Sissa do it! Sissa do it!" When Hazel came in I asked her what she had done to Amelia and with a straight face she replied, "I didn't do it. Abiah did."

While stifling laughter, I said, "Abiah was sitting here with me. What did you do to Amelia?"

Again she replied with a straight face, "No. He got out of his chair and went in there and hit Millie."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another time Amelia took the cushion off of the couch and when I told her to put it back she said, "Daddy do it!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Amelia bit Hazel on her hip. It was a doozy. A big purple bruise appeared right away. When Hazel had recovered from the pain she told me, "Mom, make sure Millie doesn't bite my hippo anymore!"

Meatballs and a Veggie Spaghetti Recipe

2011-01-17T08:59:00.000-08:00

This is a recipe my mom came up with for me when she was helping me prepare once-a-month meals about a two years ago. I don't know if she made it up or just had it in her head. It would totally be like her to make it up. She pretty much a culinary genius.

And as soon as she reads this I will officially be her favorite!

I use this recipe for spaghetti (Hot Hubby prefers it with meat balls instead of meat sauce. Wierdo.), sweet 'n sour meat balls, Swedish meatballs, meatball subs. The list is endless really. And it's making me hungry.

This is also a triple or quadruple recipe. I separate them into meal size portions and freeze them in gallon freezer bags. I usually shop once a month so I plan a few meatball recipes for the month and then I only have to make the meatballs once. Easy-peasy!

Meatballs

4 lbs of burger
1 tsp onion powder
2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp pepper
1&1/2 tsp salt
4 eggs ( used this egg replacer and it worked perfectly)
1&1/4 cups milk
1&1/2 cups bread crumbs (I use oatmeal. My mom always did when we were little. I think it's a Weight Watcher thing. It works though.)

Last week when I made this recipe it yielded about 156 1 inch meatballs.

Mix all the ingredients together (I use my KitchenAid mixer). Shape into 1 inch balls. Pampered Chef sells a 1 inch ice cream scoop that works wonders for this. Bake on a sprayed pan for 20 minutes at 350.

If you haven't yet, you should totally check out the sweet 'n sour recipe above. Here's my recipe for spaghetti:

Disclaimer: When I cook I don't measure a whole lot unless I'm following a specific recipe. I use the "ish" system. Use your own discretion and add what sounds good to you.

Also, I pre-cut most of my veggies and store them in the freezer in recipe size portions. This helps insure that my dinner preparations are simple and it also makes it easier to get veggies into our meals. If you have picky eaters chopped or shred the veggies into small pieces that they won't be able to see. As long as there isn't an allergy possibility I add it. Hot Hubby doesn't like zucchini and Abiah doesn't care for mushrooms but they eat them all the time. Most of the time they don't even know.

Veggie Filled Spaghetti Sauce

If you are using a meat other than the meatballs brown it in a separate pan and add later.

1 Tbls olive oil
1 Tbls butter

Heat the oils in a large skillet. When heated through add:

1 onion chopped
4 cloves of garlic
1 cup (ish) of chopped mushrooms
1 zucchini chopped or shredded
1 cup of bell peppers sliced ( I get a combo pack of mini peppers from Costco and send them through the food processor. They freeze well for sauces and soups.)

When these start to brown I add 1 large can of tomato sauce (24 oz I think) and a 14 oz can of diced tomatoes. (This is also where I would add the browned burger. Add meatballs later.)

This is where I get my "ish" on. These portions are a guess but a great place to start.

2 tsp Italian seasoning
1 tsp dried basil
1 tsp garlic powder
two or three dashes of salt
1 or 2 dashes of pepper
1 tsp of sugar ( I don't usually add more sugar unless I have a very bitter sauce.)
If you can handle the spice, add 1 tsp or so if crushed red peppers. Mmmmm...

Let all of these simmer together. If you are using meatballs, add them at this point and let them simmer in the sauce.

When your noodles are done cooking add about 1/2 a cup of the starchy water to the sauce and let it simmer a little longer.

You can serve this over your favorite noodles or serve it in hoagie rolls, add a piece of cheese to the top and broil in the oven until the cheese is melted for a yummy meatball sub.

Let me know what you think!

Bedtime Crazy

2011-01-14T20:23:00.000-08:00

This is almost exactly what bedtime has been in our house lately:

In my case I hear:

"Mom!"

"Yes?"

"Make sure Millie doesn't get out of her bed and climb into mine and sleep with me."

"Okay. Amelia is asleep and can't climb out of her crib. Go to sleep. Goodnight!"

"Mom!"

"Yes?"

"Make sure no rats get into here and eat me."

"There are no rats in our house. You are okay and safe. Go to sleep. Goodnight!"
(Thankyouverymuch! Indian in the Cupboard movie!)

"Mom!"

"Yes?"

"Make sure Daddy doesn't sleep on the couch. He has to sleep in his bed."

"Okay. That's enough talking. Go. To. Sleep. Goodnight."

"Mom!"

"What?"

"I said that you and me and Millie and me and you and Abiah can have Honey Nut Cheerios for breakfast tomorrow."

"I said goodnight. We will talk in the morning. GO! TO! SLEEP! NOW. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Prenatal Update: 25 Weeks

2011-01-14T09:20:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went in for my monthly appointment. This is the appointment that I dread the most. I had to do the blood glucose test which requires a blood draw and usually I would have received a rhogam shot since I'm Rh negative. Thankfully they wanted to wait until I am 28 weeks to give me the shot so I only had to suffer from one needle poke this time.

The rest of my appointment was pretty routine. Jackson's heart rate was perfect. My blood pressure is fine. Everything measures well. I've only gained about 5 pounds. And I go back in 3 weeks for my 28 week appointment!

It all sounds so ho-hum and boring. Which is exactly how this pregnancy was supposed to be! Well, not the boring part. I'm really excited to be pregnant and I can't wait to meet Jackson.

When I first started seeing my midwives, though, they told me that since I am an "experienced" mom I only had to come in every 5 weeks for appointments. That hasn't happened.

Around 12 weeks I started spotting and ended up having to go in a few times extra for them to make sure everything was okay. Which it was. It ended up being a normal pregnancy thing. The baby and I are fine.

Then at about 21 weeks I got rear-ended and ended up having to go in for an extra appointment to follow up after the accident. All of these appointments I've been glad to keep. I love knowing that Jackson is healthy.

I'm just disappointed because I was pretty stinkin' proud to be an "experienced" mom.

Pride. Oh! that nasty little vixen!

Other pregnancy updates would be:

When I asked Hazel who she thinks Jackson will look like she replied, "Ummmm, Africa!" Since I received so much flack for Amelia's blue eyes I'm starting to wonder what makes people doubt my loyalty to my marriage. Seriously! My mom's friends had a whole conversation about where Amelia's blue eyes came from. One of them suggested that maybe the mail man has blue eyes. Another rebutted with, "Hey! I've met him. He's a nice guy!" Now this! By the way, my mom and Hot Hubby's dad both have blue eyes. It runs in the family!

I could eat Burgerville every day! I am definitely carrying a man-child. My favorite meal of the day is dinner. Salty and hearty. Pasta is the best!

Jackson is earning mommy points already. He lets me drink coffee! When I was pregnant with the girls it was the last thing I wanted. With Jackson I didn't want it during the first trimester but now I want at least a cup a day.

I keep forgetting I'm pregnant. I don't feel very guilty because there is a lot going on around here. I just get shocked when I, say... park too close to the shopping cart return area and can't squeeze my tummy through the opening which normally would be plenty of room... Or when I look down and can't see my feet even if I lean forward... Or when I sit leaning forward for a long time and then when I sit back I get kicked multiple times from the baby who is glad to have a little more room finally.

Jackson moves a lot. My girls mostly moved just at night. They had bursts of major movement. Especially at this point in the pregnancy. Jackson moves all day. I'm hoping that rather than this being a sign that he'll be an extremely active child like his sisters, it will actually mean that he is a well balanced child. Like his dad. Take after your dad, Jackson! Someone needs to. And soon! Mommy needs a break from all the little busy people running all over the place! Oh that you will be an easy-peasy boy like your dad and brother!

Even though my next appointment is only three weeks away instead of the desired 5 weeks, I am glad that it means I'm that much closer to meeting this handsome little Prince.

Beware of the Grooooove!

2011-01-13T08:10:00.000-08:00

What is the groove? It is the rhythm in which I live my life!

If you ever have the opportunity to watch my mom, my sisters and me in the kitchen you might notice an odd habit we have. Since we are women and there is hardly a quiet moment when we are together we use signals to communicate with each other when we work together.

Our most common signal is the butt pat. It's more like a hip pat, really. In order not to interrupt the person talking we just pat each other on the butt/hip when we need someone to move.

It's a system that works well for us. The only time we have an awkward moment is when someone outside of the five of us works with us in the kitchen. Unless they've been inducted into the butt/hip patting ritual already. And so far everyone has seemed to understand this form of communication.

Everyone except my dad and my Hot Hubby.

For some reason unbeknown to God, man, and beast those two can't seem to get this down. Hot Hubby has only been exposed to this for a short time so he has a little excuse. My dad on the other hand has been dealing with this for almost 30 years! Well, really, my mom has been dealing with him on this issue for almost 30 years.

We have home videos from days long gone filled with bad hair, leggings under over-sized t-shirts, and multiple parties where my mom is trying to prepare something in the kitchen. As you watch my mom move my dad out of her way you can hear him ask, "Why are you pushing me?!?"

That's the question he stills asks. "Why are you pushing me?!?"

This is actually how I knew I was going to marry Nathan.

Let's go back to 2002-ish.

Nathan and I had known each other for a few years but had just recently started spending time together with a few other friends. I kind of had my eye on him but wasn't sure. I had no idea where he stood on our friendship/relationship.

I was at work. Hot Hubby, then Nathan, had stopped by to visit before heading to work himself. Since he used to go to the "homeschooling school" I worked for he felt he had alumni privileges and could hang out there whenever he wanted. Apparently. Not that I minded. (He's HOT!)

Anyways, I was making a ga-gillion copies of something in the copy room and he was in there talking with me. But he was forever in my way! Everywhere I needed to go, he was there. Though the woman in me appreciated the close quarters, the employee in me needed to get to work.

Since he didn't understand the arm tap (As much as I would have loved to, I decided that tapping his butt/hip would be slightly inappropriate. So I adjusted accordingly.) I kept having to move him out of my way. Finally he asked, "Why are you pushing me?!?"

My heart stopped for a brief second and I stood there staring at him, hoping my jaw wasn't really as close to the floor as it felt. I always knew I wanted to marry someone like my dad, but this was freaky! Once I regained control of my senses I explained the situation. (Not the marriage one. The "you're in my WAY!" one.)

It never stuck.

I am still asked by him multiple times a week, "Why are you pushing me?!?"

All this to say, as I've adjusted my daily schedule to his work schedule over the years and even more recently tried to be more purposeful of my day, there is always one uncertainty that I am certain will mess with my groove.

Hot Hubby standing in my way. Not in the sense that he won't allow me to do something.

He's physically IN.MY.WAY!

Take yesterday morning. I got up with the kids and was trying to get through our morning routine: get dressed, breakfast, help kids with chores, school...blah, blah, blah. As I'm trying to get breakfast on the table to feed the children who are about to burst the sound barrier asking for food I kept turning around right into Hot Hubby.

I need a bowl to mix eggs in. He's in front of that cupboard.

I need my frying pan. He's in front of that drawer.

I need the milk. He's in front of the fridge.

And he's happy as a lark and completely unaware that HE'S. IN. MY.WAY!

And he wants me to stop every time I run into him and give him a hug. He's so stinkin' cute that it's hard to be completely irritated with him. And he smells good.

Moving on!

Though I've talked to him about this many, many, many, MANY times, this morning I found the words that I think helped him: "Dude! You're messing with my groove!"

We'll see if that one takes!

A Year of Purpose

2011-01-12T09:35:00.000-08:00

I hate writing New Years resolutions. Every January I feel pressure to write something down but I know Myself. And Myself will forget about the long list of to-do's within a week.

By the next December Myself will remember that there was a list of things that she was supposed to do but forgot about. Then the guilt and sack cloth and ashes will have to come out of the Goodwill pile that Myself had been meaning to donate all year long.

I don't want to do that to Myself. She has enough to deal with.

But, Myself has also been heard complaining this last year about life just seeming to take over. The words purpose and intentional have slipped from her mouth many a time through-out 2010.

There have been tears of frustration. Days of depression. Weeks of trying to catch-up and "find a more efficient way." Myself likes efficiency. A lot! She wishes her home resembled that of the one in Cheaper By The Dozen. The book. Not the crappy movie.

So Myself has decided to make a list of things she wants to be more purposeful about. Which is kind of the same as resolutions, but because it's a different word she has tricked herself into thinking it's something completely different.

So I plan to share that list with you in the next few weeks. I say weeks because Myself is so tired from all the being purposeful that at the end of the day blogging is the thing that has to wait on the shelf. But the laundry is being done and food is being put on the table. And the children are more calm and obedient because they have a mommy who is spending more time with them than with Lola, the pink computer.

That's not me, by the way. Just making sure you're awake. And wanting to show off my Hot Hubby...using a pink computer.

I love this picture!

I did let Myself make one resolution for this year. And she's not afraid to call it that!

I resolve to lose 20 pounds by mid May.

How do I plan to do this? By having a baby! Remember, Jackson is due at the end of April. I figure that gives me a few weeks to shed the normal 20 lb baby weight. I'll FINALLY meet a New Years resolution and I'll have a cute baby to boot!

I know. You think I'm a genius. I'm not. Well, not certified. I did go to college for two terms though!

What's for Dinner?

2011-01-11T23:30:00.000-08:00

Right before Christmas I posted on Facebook that I made a Cajun chicken fettuccine dish for dinner. Instead of comments about the cream/carb combo and how bad it is for a person, I got requests for the recipe. My dear Aunt went as far as to suggest that I create a weekly menu and post it here for you all to use.

I wish that I was that organized!

Though I have been trying to do that for myself, posting my weekly menu here would mean posting all the recipes. I would love to do that too! But the time! I just don't have it right now. So I will post recipes when I can and hopefully you all can use one or two of them.

Tonight's recipe came from a different Facebook conversation.

A friend mentioned needing some crockpot recipes. I left her a link to a recipe I posted here about a year ago and she left this recipe for me:

Mexican Chicken

Place 8-10 frozen chicken tenders in the crockpot. Rinse a can of black beans and add to the crockpot. Add frozen corn or a can of corn drained. Pour a jar of your favorite salsa over the top and cook on low for 7 hours or high for 4 hours. 20-30 minutes before serving add a package of cream cheese and stir it in. Serve over rice!

How easy-peasy is that?!?

I made this tonight and it was fantastic. I actually got bored between 4:30 and 5. Usually I am running around trying to finish dinner so we can eat by 6 and I had nothing to do! Besides laundry, dishes, and more laundry.

Since I used rice we had left over from a meal a few days ago there was just enough for our dinner tonight. I took the rest of the Mexican Chicken, added a can of olives and made a make-shift enchilada topped with a can of El Pato tomato sauce, cheese and olives. That little left over gem is in the freezer for a quick meal next week!

There are so many variations or ingredients you could add to this. I almost added shredded zucchini but I wanted to try the recipe as it was written first. You could also add the cooked rice to the pot and serve it in tortillas or pour it over chips.

It was definitely easy and we will be making this again. Soon!

What was for dinner at your house?

Hair

2011-01-05T08:50:00.000-08:00

It used to be a joke between the two of us.

I would find a long brown hair on his shoulder or tangled in his beard. In a shocked voice I would ask, "Who's hair is this and how did it get here?!?"

He would look at me with those eyes that say, "Woman, you're crazy. And I'm crazy about you!"

Then he would chased me around the house, wrap me in his arms and remind me how that hair got there.

Now I don't just find long brown hair. Sometimes it's brown and curly. Or short and blond.

I pick the hair out of his beard or off of his shoulder and ask in a surprised tone, "Who's hair is this and how did it get here?!?"

He looks up at me over two heads.

One full of unruly, brown curls.

The other covered in disheveled, short blond locks.

His eyes say, "Woman, you're crazy. And I am crazy about you!"

And he mentions that when he gets a free minute from those other two he'd like to chase me around the house, wrap me in his arms and remind me how they got here.

The Low-Fat Cell Phone

2011-01-02T17:26:00.000-08:00

I'm sure you've all seen commercials like this one:

Seriously?!?

Because it's totally the phone's fault that we spend more of our time looking at it then talking with the people we are with?

Isn't that like saying it's all the food's fault that we get fat? It's definitely not the fact that we ate more than we should! So let's remove the fat/carbs/sugar from the food and that will fix it!

Sorry. I tend to be on the "it's more about self-discipline" side of these things.

And for those of you who don't know me, I'm not a Twiggy look-a-like who has never weighed over 120. I have to purpose every day to be disciplined when it comes to eating.

Can't we just be honest with ourselves and admit that we lack some serious self-control?

It's your phone/email/facebook. You don't have to answer it or check it. You can choose to ignore it for awhile.

Seriously!

Stepping off my soapbox now...

The Gift Dilemma

2011-01-01T09:01:00.000-08:00

Last year for Christmas Hot Hubby gave me a gift card to Barnes & Noble (B&N) and one for Starbucks and sent me on a day out by myself to browse the books while sipping on my favorite latte. To me it's one of the best gifts he could give me. To him it's one of the gifts that I ask for that he understands the least.

You see, while I love to read and write, Hot Hubby despises it. It takes him a sweet forever to get through the first few chapters of a book and then he puts it down for a year or so and never picks it up again. I, on the other hand, can read a novel in one day if I'm allowed (meaning no one demanding my presence for their every whim and desire).

What Hot Hubby didn't plan for was me coming home armed with a book for both of us to read! I had heard about The Five Love Languages for years and after boycotting it for awhile I decided to give it a try.

I sat in B&N and flipped through the book, trying not to read too much so that I could read it with Hot Hubby and not feel the need to speed ahead. When I brought it home I could tell that he was beyond elated.

Or maybe he was the complete opposite. His response wasn't a surprise though. I knew it would take time to convince him to read through the book.

At first all I asked was that he take the test at the end of the book. Simple. Not too demanding. He agreed and we had a lot of fun giving each other the test.

We weren't shocked by the answers. Now we just had words for the differences in each other that we'd been trying to get used to.

His primary Love Language (LL) is physical touch. He scored 10 out of 12. No surprise. You don't get pregnant 5 times in 5 years being married to a man who doesn't like to touch you.

However, physical touch is my lowest LL. I scored 1 out of 12. That explains soooooo much!

Though my primary LL is the same as Hot Hubby's 2nd LL (Quality Time) it means something very different to both of us. He likes quality time with intense snuggling (I won't expound. I promise!). To me quality time involves eye contact and maybe a little hand holding. Talking, visiting, and just being together. Also my 2nd and 3rd LL's just happen to be Hot Hubby's two lowest. Words of Affirmation and Receiving Gifts.

Knowing this you'd think that we have a hard time getting along. Really we don't. We are the best of friends. We just tend to have the same disagreement over and over about what we need from each other.

Anyways, after taking the test and finding this out about each other, Hot Hubby had the idea that the best way to work through this was to convince me that his primary LL is the best of the five. He's spent the better part of the last year trying to convert me. He didn't want to read the book. He had it figured out.

It didn't work. Shocking!

Finally about mid October I decided I would just read through the book by myself and put to practice what I learned and see how it worked.

I also decided that I would take all of Hot Hubby's hunting magazines out of the bathroom and leave this book as the only reading option. Well, minus the Highlights magazine. It didn't take long for him to find out what I had done and he knew right away why I did it.

Every time I would notice him "loving me MY way", as I call it, I would ask if he'd been reading the book. Each time he would laugh at me and then then then tell me that he hadn't. I think he began to see that it was really important to me though.

About two weeks ago he thanked me for making lunch and breakfast. This may not seem like such a big deal except that Hot Hubby is NOT a words person. It's not unusual for someone to ask him a question and for him to just stand there and stare at them. He doesn't mean to be rude and he's not upset. He just doesn't have an answer so he doesn't. Believe me. I have tried so many times to help him understand that it is okay to just respond with an "I don't know" or a "Let me think about that."

He's working on it. Sloooowly, because that's how we roll. Apparently.

So when he thanked me for making breakfast and lunch it caught my attention. When I asked him about it a few days later he told me he had been reading THE BOOK. And he was on CHAPTER 4 already! The last few weeks I've been amazed by his gestures at loving me "my way."

So, for Christmas, knowing that gift buying is NOT on of his strong points, I gave him the list of gift ideas he had asked me for. In the last few years it has bugged me that he waits until the last few days before Christmas to go shopping for me. This year I knew to give him the space. At least he's trying, right?

He did a great job. He even tried to think outside of the list I gave him. I'd give the details but it's a little too TMI for my blog. :) I made me giggle though. He's so cute.

One of the things I asked for was a Fiestaware salt and pepper set. IN SUNFLOWER! I made it easier for him by emailing him a link to their website and showing him the exact set (in the exact color) when we were in Kohl's one day.

Chirstmas Eve morning when we opened our gifts with our kids I unwrapped a new light yellow Fiestaware salt and pepper set. I filled them up and have enjoyed using them every day since.

The other day when I was throwing boxes and paper into the fire place I happened to look at the box from the salt and pepper set and saw that the set is actually Ivory. Not sunflower! I went ahead and burned the box thinking that since I've already been using them I couldn't return them for the right color.

Also, I didn't want to tell Hot Hubby. He's trying so hard and I don't want to discourage him!

But now I'm wondering if I could have and still could take them back. I'm sure that Hot Hubby will understand.

What do I do?!? Have you ever been in this place before? What would/did you do?

(The Amazon link is for convenience. I make no money if you purchase the book.)

The New Potty Talk

2010-12-30T07:59:00.000-08:00

My kids have been using a lot of "potty talk" lately. Not the kind where they repeat "adult" words that they've heard "someone" use. The kind where they call each other poo-poo, pee-pee, and bottom and giggle uncontrollably because it's too much funny for them to handle.

I can sympathize with their situation since this is an issue my mom ~~has~~ had with me. Even when my kids are calling each other naughty names I have to hide the second grade child in me behind my "mom face."

We've had a crack down on the potty talk around here and they are learning that this kind of language has a purpose. Name calling is not that purpose.

Or maybe they are just learning that they get in trouble when they use "potty talk." Who knows. I don't hear it as much. That's the point, right?

Well, today Hazel figured out a way to get around the system. Genius child.

During breakfast she was rattling something of to her brother and ended it by saying, "You potty talk!"

I don't know if I should be concerned or slightly proud.

Lack of Something

2010-12-29T12:15:00.000-08:00

Christmas Eve morning I let Nathan know that we only had enough coffee for that day and then we would be out (A Christmas Miracle!). Neither of us weere too sad since we were leaving for the weekend and would be able to "get a fix" at the houses we would be at.

However, when Monday rolled around we were both jonesing for a cup of strong coffee. I managed to semi-satisfy my craving with tea (what?) but Nathan had to go without since he won't come within 20ft of tea of any variety.

(I should keep that in mind the next time he suggests we add another member to our family six months after I've just added one...)

Anyways, back to the coffee!

When I asked him to stop for milk on his way home this morning I reminded him we were out of coffee. Apparently he thought I meant doughnuts too because he came home armed with both. He's such a good hubby!

When he went to grind the coffee he grabbed the container we use to put our beans in only to find that it had about 4 cups of beans in it already!

I have no idea why I didn't think to look in the coffee bean canister for coffee beans. It's not like we've not had the same canister for almost six years! Now I know where to look though. Also, we have plenty of coffee!

Girl or Boy, Klara or Jackson, Pheobe or Pheobo

2010-12-09T10:07:00.000-08:00

All "Friends" fans should know where the title of this blog came from!

So, after a very full bladder and ten minutes of it being pressed and prodded by the ultrasound technician I got to see this photo:

X marks the spot!

Nathan was meeting me at the Dr.'s office with the kids and my dad but he ended up missing the ultrasound part. My mom and MIL were able to be there though. My FIL was there but he had walked away right before the nurse asked the grandmas to come back. So they were the only ones who got to be there to see these photos:

Face forward.

Arm. Look at those muscles! Just like daddy!

Strong manly leg!

Nathan arrived right after I went into my prenatal appointment so when he came back I got to introduce him to his son, Kenneth Jackson!

Kenneth is after Nathan's dad. Jackson is my mom's maiden name. We plan to call him by his middle name because I go by my middle name. Plus Ken just sounds like a name for an older boy. If anyone wants to call him Ken that's fine with me. I just plan to call him Jackson.

We have had this name picked out since the first time we got pregnant. We have kept it a secret from my FIL and it was so much fun to finally get to tell him!

Nathan was and is excited. But if you happen to see him and he's not giddy and seems nonchalant about having a boy don't be disappointed. That's just how he is. He really is super excited.

After the appointment we went out into the lobby and got to introduce our kids and both our dads to Kenneth Jackson. Everyone was excited.

Well, Hazel said she wanted a girl sister but she doesn't really understand what's going on. When I told her they took pictures of the baby in my tummy she tried to look under my shirt to see them.

Amelia is pretty clueless, but I know she'll just be happy to have a baby around. She's a little bit like her mom.

Abiah is very excited that we are having a boy. I fear that he will be disappointed when the baby doesn't arrive as an instant playmate, though. He also informed us that though he's excited, he doesn't want to have to share his room with Jackson until Jackson is about 4 or 5 years old because he doesn't want wake up at night to a crying baby. Because I usually leave that up to a 7 year old...:)

What Abiah doesn't realize is that when Jackson is 4 or 5 he will be 12 or 13 and won't be wanting to share a room with his younger brother anyways!

The rest of the prenatal information was good. Jackson is healthy. Growing perfectly. The pregnancy is going well. His due date is April 26th but I'm trying not to focus on the date as much as the general time. End of April works for me. Beginning of May...not so much!

My other good news was that I lost 4 lbs in the last 5 weeks!

My FIL took us all out to Red Robin to celebrate. This has been the tradition in the past but I did catch him watching us a little more last night. I think he's pretty excited.

We didn't get home until it was time to put the kids to bed and to get Nathan off to work so I held the giveaway off until today.

Out of fourteen votes, ten were for a boy. Abiah helped me draw a name:

And the winner is:

Congratulation Nikki! I'll get a hold of you and I'll get your prize to you. The prize, again, is a Starbucks card and this:

It's a homemade pink, white, and black broach for your coat lapel. I think it will look great on you, Nikki!

(Sorry about the picture quality. Not a strong point yet. The broach is really super cute. I know you'll love it!)

Thanks to all who participated. I'm excited to share this journey with you!

He She Be and a Giveaway!

2010-12-08T15:15:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is my 20 week prenatal appointment and ultrasound. Eeeek! I am so excited to see our baby again. I can feel movement more and more.

This pregnancy feels different in many ways, but I think most of it is because I don't have time to stop and think about it. Most of the time I forget that I'm pregnant. I would feel bad but I am so excited about this baby that it seems to take away the guilt.

Usually by now many family members and friends would have told me what they predict this baby is going to be. For some reason that hasn't happened this time. When we first found out I had one dear friend tell me that as soon as she heard we were expecting she thought it was a boy.

(Ok. My SIL did tell me that she wanted to say we are having a boy but she thinks we are going to have another girl. But she burned my beans. So she doesn't count.)

But that was it. Until this past week.

I was in Salt Lake City, Utah spending six days with my BFF (by myself I might add!) and she very confidently told me that I am having a boy. Apparently she has felt that way since I told her I'm pregnant.

I, personally, don't have a feeling either way. While I would be delighted with a boy, it scares me at the same time. Abiah is such an easy boy that I'm afraid the next one will be the polar opposite of him. And since I've done (am doing) the girl thing twice it seems easier.

But I want to know what you think.

I posted this a while back and you can use it to help you if you need to.

The giveaway part works this way: In the comment section below tell me what you think Jr is (as in boy or girl for all you funny ones who want to say, "A baby!").

Since there are only two options for a right answer I will take all the entries that guessed correctly and randomly choose one of those names. (So if it is a boy, all those who guessed that way will be entered into the drawing. Just to clarify.)

If we aren't able to find out tomorrow due to a stubborn/shy baby I will just choose one person from all names entered.

My appointment is at 3:30 pm PST so no entries after that time will be counted.

The prize is a Starbucks card and a homemade treat (not edible, btw).

Also, you must leave the comment on the blog (not Facebook) for your entry to count. Also, those of you who want to tell me after we find out that you knew all along what the baby's sex is totally don't count. And you people irritate me.

Sometimes I have a bad attitude.

I will announce the results and the winner tomorrow night!

Man Soup or Cheesey Sausage Potato Soup

2010-11-23T09:44:00.000-08:00

I know I've posted lots of recipes lately and I was planning to share something else, but when you make the best soup EVER how can you not share!?!

As is pretty typical with my cooking, I gathered a few ingredients I thought would be good together, threw them in a pot, and called it dinner. Or in this case perfection. Whichever.

What I always fail to do is write the recipe down. Thus causing my family and myself to never taste of its awesomeness again.

Thankfully, Nathan, who isn't much of a soup guy, told me I should write it down and Abiah suggested I do it while we ate. So I did. They are so good to all of us, aren't they?

I call this Man Soup because it actually filled Nathan up AND he wanted me to write the recipe down, which, in "Nathan Speak", roughly means, "Woman! This is the best food EVER! Never stop making this as long as I'm alive! You amaze me! I knew I married you for more than your good looks, crazy awesome personality, and childbearing hips! Let me adorn you with diamonds and rare jewels and praise you at the city gates!"

Or something like that...

So, the recipe.

Please remember that when I cook I rarely use measuring devices unless I'm following a recipe. Especially with the spices. I under-guessed the measurements so that you can add what you feel it needs.

MAN SOUP

7ish medium sized potatoes, peeled and chopped
4 stalks celery, thinly sliced

Place these in a pot of water and boil until the potatoes are soft all the way through.

In the meantime brown the next two ingredients until they start to get just a little black on them.
Flavor people! We call it flavor.

1 large onion, chopped
1 lb Italian Turkey sausage

Add 1 tsp sage and mix together

When the potatoes are done add about a cup of the water to the pan of sausage and onions and add 1 tsp of chicken bullion stirring to combine ( the water from the cooking potatoes has lots of starch in it and will help to keep the soup thick).

When combined, add 1 more cup of the water and mix in.

Then add 1&1/2 cups of half-n-half.

You wanna do it. You know you do!

Simmer to thicken.

Now, you want to drain most of the remaining water leaving maybe 1 cup in the potatoes. I just drained it until I thought I could create a thick-ish soup.

This is the part where it would be helpful to have measurements and pictures. Neither of which I am good at or have. Sorry. Just trust your senses.

Now, mash the potatoes. You don't want it to be completely smooth though, so leave some lumps!

Add the simmering sausage mixture to the potatoes, stirring to combine. At this point you can add a cup or two of corn if you want (I added frozen corn to my kids bowls to cool their soup down).

Add 2 cups of shredded cheese AND a 1/4 block of cream cheese. It's so good you don't want to leave it out. I swear!

Mix until combined.

Add salt and pepper to taste.

Serve with big pieces of crusty bread and ENJOY!

The weather around here has definitely turned to soup season and I think we will be enjoying this one many times this winter.

Let me know how you like it!

Thanksgiving Recipes: Raspberry Pretzel Salad

2010-11-22T09:31:00.000-08:00

This is one of a few recipes that are served every year for Thanksgiving on my side of the family. I made this to bring to Hot Hubby's family's gathering a couple of years ago and now I make it for both sides every year. It's salty, sweet, and doesn't stay around for very long.

Raspberry Pretzel Salad

Mix together:
3/4 c. melted butter
3 Tbl. sugar
2&1/2 c.thin stick pretzels, broken into 1/2 inch pieces (ish)

Evenly spread out in a 9x13 pan. Bake at 350 for 10 minutes.

Let it completely cool.

Mix together:
8oz cream cheese, room temperature
8oz Cool Whip
1 c. powdered sugar
3 Tbl. milk

Spread over cooled crust sealing off sides with creamed mixture. The creamed mixture acts as a barrier between the pretzel crust and the jello.

Mix together:
1 large raspberry Jello pkg
2&1/2 c. boiling water

Stir together until Jello is dissolved.

Add:
2-10 oz bags of frozen raspberries

Stir until thickened.

Carefully pour on top of creamed mixture. Cover and refrigerate until set. 2-4 hours.

Thanksgiving Recipes: Desi's Homemade Rolls & A Story from 7th Grade

2010-11-19T09:24:00.000-08:00

During my 4th-7th grade school years we attended our church's private school. My mom, being the amazing cook that she is, became the lunch lady. Every week she would put out batches and batches of fresh bread dough that she and her friend, Desi, would use to create the most amazing dinner rolls, cinnamon rolls, and homemade hot dog wraps EVER!

The food that was served in that cafeteria could never be considered cafeteria food. We were such spoiled private school kids.

During my 7th grade year I got recruited to sift flour EVERY morning. I started the moment we arrived until the bell rang for assembly. It was kitchen boot camp. And I needed it.

Unknown to my mom, I had just found out that one of the boys in my class "loved" me. I caught a glimpse of his spiral notebook that said "I LOVE SH...." And that's all I saw before he ripped it away so I couldn't read the rest. I assumed he meant one of my two friends who's names also started with SH, but, after swearing I wouldn't tell anyone what it said, he sheepishly revealed the contents of that page to me and I was shocked to find my own name written in his scrawling 7th grade boy handwriting. That "love" lasted about two weeks when he traded me in for one of my other class mates. 7th grade love can be so fickle.

Since both my new crush and I arrived at school early I had "plans" for what that hour before school would hold. I'm sure it was God saving me from getting in trouble with a capital T, because it wasn't long after my discovery of "love" that my mom had me spending ALL my free time in the morning standing in the kitchen sifting mountain after mountain of fluffy white flour. At the time I was sure she knew my secret. Now I'm really not sure if she did or not.

And even though that crush didn't last long, there were others. Many others. And there were only 7 boys in my 7th grade class. Like I said, 7th grade love is fickle.

All of that to say, this is the bread that I spent hours sifting flour for. And it's an amazing recipe.

Desi's Bread

2 Tbl. yeast
1/2 c. sugar
1tsp salt
2 c. warm water

Mix and let yeast soften.

Mix in:

1 egg, beaten (Or you can use this egg replacer if you are allergic to eggs like me!)
1/4 c. oil

Slowly add:

6&1/2 c. sifted flour (If you use the egg replacer I used you might need a little more flour to keep it from being too sticky.)

Knead bread until dough is soft and satiny. Should be a little sticky. Let it double. Punch it down. Make into two braids or loaves, or 24 dinner rolls. Place on a greased cookie sheet. Let double. Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes.

When they come out of the oven immediately covered one in butter and eat it! It's just the right thing to do.

Or, if you have more self-control than I do, you can also let them cool and freeze them. Enjoy!

The Mommy Torture Device

2010-11-18T15:11:00.001-08:00

I know it just looks like a Disney princess cup.

Don't be deceived.

Because when one child gets one for her "free ye old birfday" and the other doesn't it causes this:

And that's enough to turn a mommy's heart upside down and inside out.

Learning to share is so hard. Learning to be happy for someone else when you just want to pout and cry... the hardest lesson ever. Especially when you have two more months before your own birfday party.

Or you can just wait until your sister is distracted and take hers for yourself...

Wordless Wednesdays: Legos

2010-11-17T10:54:00.000-08:00

The Work Space

2010-11-15T08:34:00.000-08:00

While I promised you awhile back that I had made changes to our homeschooling plan for the year and was going to share them with you, this isn't what I had in mind.

Abiah is such a smart kid, but I am finding it hard to keep his attention on his work and not on everything else going on in the house. I know he's only seven. I know that sitting for long periods of time is especially hard for boys. I know that boys develop slower than most girls. But I feel my biggest battle with him is about being lazy.

I give him breaks. I have him run around the house a few times. We have activities we do that aren't so "school" like. When it's time for him to do his independent work (math and writing his spelling words) he will take HOURS.

He knows the work. He could be done with his school by noon everyday. But he sits. And talks to his imaginary friends. He watches everything the girls and I are doing. If the t.v. is on in the other room he listens to hear as much as he can. Even if I have the volume turned WAY down.

I have tried to help him understand that getting his work done quickly is his choice and that choice determines how he will spend the rest of the day, but something isn't clicking.

So my question is, homeschooling failure or homeschooling genius?

What lengths have you gone to just to help your child focus on the task before him/her?

Thanksgiving Centerpiece

2010-11-13T10:30:00.000-08:00

I don't have step-by-step directions. I wouldn't do that to you.

I don't expect to receive any kind of award for creativity.

I just think it's cute. Because it's made from my kids chubby fingers.

Well, not literally.

Amelia's Turkey

Hazel's Turkey

Abiah's Turkey

The Best Pumpkin Bread Ever!

2010-11-12T10:36:00.001-08:00

Every fall this is the recipe I am eager to make. Not that it can't be made any other time of the year. It's just one of those fall things. This recipe is full of flavor and is positively sinful!

Pumpkin Bread

5 c. flour, lightly fluffed
4 c. sugar (Trust me here.)
4 tsp. soda
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. cloves
3 tsp cinnamon
4 c. pumpkin puree, canned or fresh
1 c. oil
1&1/2 c. chopped nuts (pecans are my favorite)
1 c. raisins (I like to do half raisins and half dried cranberries)

Mix together dry ingredients. Add pumpkin and oil. Mix well. Add nuts and raisins. Mix well. Pour into 3 well sprayed loaf pans or you can use muffin tins. Bake at 350 for 30-45 minutes. Remember to test the center to make sure they are baked through. Freezes well.

My favorite way to enjoy them is chilled. With a generous slab of cream cheese. It's how I roll. Or how I get rolls...

Wordless Wednesday: Swine Flu Cowgirl

2010-11-10T09:06:00.000-08:00

One of Those Videos, Take 2

2010-11-09T09:11:00.000-08:00

Ok. Hopefully this time everything will work right!

I realize that this video is one of those that only I, as Amelia's mom, can appreciate, but I'm going to share it anyways. Every time I tell Amelia it's time for bed she tells me, "No yet." It makes me giggle.

Egg Replacer for Baking

2010-11-08T16:05:00.000-08:00

In my search for egg and soy free foods I have come across a few tips for baking. My current go to is for replacing eggs in baking. As the title suggests. Not to be obvious or anything.

So, here's whatcha do. For every egg, mix together one (1) tablespoon of flax meal with three (3) tablespoons of water.

I've found that letting the mixture sit for a few minutes helps the flax and water combine and results in a fluffier baked good. I've used this in:

homemade pancakes
cookies (no eggs = no salmonella = eating cookie dough = happy me!)
homemade cornbread
brownies

All have turned out perfectly delicious.

Do you have any substitution tips? Share!

The Story of We, Part 6 or 4 and Counting?

2010-11-05T07:38:00.000-07:00

Look here for Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part4 and Part 5.

After my Schmooshy Amelia was born I wasn't sure I would be having anymore kids. I love giving birth (I'm weird. I know.), but I don't want to be a mom who goes crazy because she has too many kids. A wise woman once told me that "just because we can do something, doesn't mean we should."

I know that every life that God gives us to parent is and will be a blessing. I just feel like there is a point where the things that I want for my kids and that I want to be for my kids will be taken over by fatigue and the business of staying alive and keeping everyone else alive. Nathan and I desire to have personal and intentional relationships with our kids. And some can do that and have 12 or more kids. I don't know that I'm one of those. I don't know what that number is for us. We have just decided to take it one kid at a time. Unless we end up having twins or something. -Insert nervous laughter here-

When Amelia turned 6 months and I wasn't pregnant, I was happy. When she was 15 months and I wasn't preparing for the upcoming arrival of another one I was elated. Up to this point watching movies, tv shows or hearing about others being pregnant had little effect on me. I was happy. For them. But I still wasn't ready.

Then Rachel from Grasping for Objectivity announced she was pregnant and I felt a twinge of jealousy. Within a few months I knew of at least 6 other women who are expecting. And everywhere I went there were pregnant women! When I would see a pregnant woman in a store I had to hold back tears. When I would see a baby it was worse. I waited about a month to tell Nathan to make sure I wasn't just being hormonal.

He would have loved it if we would have gotten pregnant within a year after having Amelia. He's crazy. But he's also patient and he was sensitive to wait until I was ready to take that step.

When I found out mid-August that I was pregnant I called our family and close friends the same day. When I called my best friend in Utah and she asked me when I found out, I shocked her with the reply, "About 30 minutes!" I had to tell everyone. Right away!

I was happy. No. I was excited! And knowing that I was excited made me even more happy and more excited. It was such a welcoming change from the previous time of being scared and unsure. Of course, I still have moments of those feelings, too. But not very often.

Many people have asked us how many more we plan to have. Most assume we are "shooting for a boy this time to even things out." But we don't have a number. And my "even" is very different from most people's.